Another Day.

He wakes up on platform to station. Busy children playing. Daring each other. Bravado. Pretending to jump. Laughter. One slips. Paste. Regret. Tears. Recriminations. Youthful bragadoccio. He is weeping eyes wide on horror. He can do nothing. He can do nothing. He can do nothing. He is dying. He is dying. He is dying. He drifts off into sleep but is it sleep it may be sleep or something more…

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Another Day.

He wakes up on platform to station. Busy children playing. Daring each other. Bravado. Pretending to jump. Laughter. One slips. Paste. Regret. Tears. Recriminations. Youthful bragadoccio. He is weeping eyes wide on horror. He can do nothing. He can do nothing. He can do nothing. He is dying. He is dying. He is dying. He drifts off into sleep but is it sleep it may be sleep or something more…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. There it is. There is the sun. Hanging in the sky again. There is cat vomit sat in a little pile – a little welcoming pile by the bookcase. The cat doesn’t point it out and it does not smell bad. It is dark and he nearly steps in it with his bare feet but he notices it just in time and he doesn’t step in it with his wet feet. He does not feel cold cat vomit rise up between his toes…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. There it is. There is the sun. Hanging in the sky again. There is cat vomit sat in a little pile – a little welcoming pile by the bookcase. The cat doesn’t point it out and it does not smell bad. It is dark and he nearly steps in it with his bare feet but he notices it just in time and he doesn’t step in it with his wet feet. He does not feel cold cat vomit rise up between his toes…

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Another Day.

He wakes up on platform to station. Busy children playing. Daring each other. Bravado. Pretending to jump. Laughter. One slips. Paste. Regret. Tears. Recriminations. Youthful bragadoccio. He is weeping eyes wide on horror. He can do nothing. He can do nothing. He can do nothing. He is dying. He is dying. He is dying. He drifts off into sleep but is it sleep it may be sleep or something more permanent. There are children singing out of key. He is sleeping.

Another Day.

He wakes up. There it is. There is the sun. Hanging in the sky again. There is cat vomit sat in a little pile – a little welcoming pile by the bookcase. The cat doesn’t point it out and it does not smell bad. It is dark and he nearly steps in it with his bare feet but he notices it just in time and he doesn’t step in it with his wet feet. He does not feel cold cat vomit rise up between his toes because he notices it in time. He writes he draws he drinks coffee he cuddles he breakfasts he lunches he naps. It is a fine Sunday nap that begins as fifteen minutes and stretches out into three and a half beautiful hours of nap. He wakes up. He runs on the spot for his health he is getting old he can feel his bones creak and his muscles tear and his body is tortured for an hour as his wii character runs round a little island and he watches Mad Men in preparation for the end of the show when it starts next week and he wonders why everyone is so upbeat about the show when it appears to be about the self destructive collapse of a middle age man with a terrible secret. Then he eats lovely food. Then he reads. They he talks and laughs. There are demons out in the desert. There are demons waiting and licking the air. They are waiting for the door to be opened but for now they will have to go hungry. There will be time enough for them later. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.

He wakes up. It is early. He gets up. He writes. He eats breakfast. He goes to the gym. He has a shower. He eats. He gets very tired. He is very very tired. He goes out. It is cold out. It is very cold out. He watches improvised comedy and he laughs and smiles. His back aches. He eats food. He sits next to restaurant made pop tarts. He eats them. They taste like pop tarts. Only here would someone…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. It is early. He gets up. He writes. He eats breakfast. He goes to the gym. He has a shower. He eats. He gets very tired. He is very very tired. He goes out. It is cold out. It is very cold out. He watches improvised comedy and he laughs and smiles. His back aches. He eats food. He sits next to restaurant made pop tarts. He eats them. They taste like pop tarts. Only here would someone…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. It is early. He gets up. He writes. He eats breakfast. He goes to the gym. He has a shower. He eats. He gets very tired. He is very very tired. He goes out. It is cold out. It is very cold out. He watches improvised comedy and he laughs and smiles. His back aches. He eats food. He sits next to restaurant made pop tarts. He eats them. They taste like pop tarts. Only here would someone make gourmet pop tarts. Gourmet pop tarts. He watches more comedy. He smiles and laughs. He is not tired. He is awake. He drinks coffee. It is still cold. There is still an attempt to understand the pilot who flew his plane into a mountain. Currently he is giving depression a bad name, pilots a bad name, people who commit suicide a bad name, mass murderers a bad name, joggers a bad name, men a bad name and people who are in photographs a bad name – depending on who you listen to on twitter, tumblr, facebook and the newspapers. There are three people reading the newspapers. The Rock is entertaining in SNL especially when he motorboats Pete Davison’s crotch. That is classic comedy. Deep, rich and fulfilling. With that thought foremost in his mind he goes to sleep.

Another Day.

He wakes up. The pilot is depressed. The pilot was depressed. Now there is a reason and everyone is happy that there is a reason and he hid his sick note and depression is a crime and he murdered all those people and shaming begins in earnest and then angry responses are loaded and tweets are fired and the battle is commenced as nuance cowers under a bush or in a cave or up a mountain anywhere it…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. The pilot is depressed. The pilot was depressed. Now there is a reason and everyone is happy that there is a reason and he hid his sick note and depression is a crime and he murdered all those people and shaming begins in earnest and then angry responses are loaded and tweets are fired and the battle is commenced as nuance cowers under a bush or in a cave or up a mountain anywhere it will not be hit by the angry shrapnel of social media that zings through the air because clear cut answers are required and answers are required even when there are no answers. He eats some oatmeal. He writes. He has a coffee. He sighs as he weighs himself and the chirpy voice of the wii fit says that he is overweight in it’s gratingly optimistic sing song voice just like the little “oof!” noise it makes whenever anyone stands on it’s wii fit board they engineers must have loved that idea when they installed it the relentlessly upbeat microagressive wii fit AI. fuck you wii fit AI he thinks fuck you and your pre-programmed morning chipperness. He wants to smash it and throw it out of the window. He does not do this because of his immense self-control of which he is, in this moment, rightly proud. He puts on a black sweater. He looks good in it although it will turn out to be a mistake later because by lunchtime it will be covered in dried skin scratched out of his beard and his hair. He does not know this at the time as he admires himself in the mirror the tall mirror angled against the wall. Then he puts underwear on. Then he puts trousers on. This is the order that these things should happen. Then the toilets are fixed and they do not constantly stream cry waterfall and the silence in the apartment is now only broken by the sound of the catch destroying soft furnishings with his claws. He walks to work. There are less people on the street today. He does not know why. He eats food. This helps pass the time. He talks. This helps pass the time. He goes to the bathroom. This passes the time. Later on he will heat a quesadilla at a restaurant and it will taste really good. For now he sits alone in his room unaware that this excitement is to come. He looks at pictures of war and suffering and death and he chooses the ones which are most suitable for public consumption. He reads more about police corruption. He draws. He adapts self-help phrases. He eats some more food. He watches some comedy. It is funny comedy. He does more smiling than laughing so the performers will have no idea how much he is really enjoying it. His energy bobs like a boat on a roiling ocean. He watches Grimm. It is grim. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.

He wakes up. He is not alone. He goes back to sleep. The roads are slush and ice. They are walking along the road together at the side of the road together one in front of the other looking for a house a village a crossroads. There are cars speeding past but they do not hit but they nearly hit. He gets out of sleep. He gets out of bed. He walks to the bathroom his morning erection bouncing…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. He is not alone. He goes back to sleep. The roads are slush and ice. They are walking along the road together at the side of the road together one in front of the other looking for a house a village a crossroads. There are cars speeding past but they do not hit but they nearly hit. He gets out of sleep. He gets out of bed. He walks to the bathroom his morning erection bouncing…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. He is not alone. He goes back to sleep. The roads are slush and ice. They are walking along the road together at the side of the road together one in front of the other looking for a house a village a crossroads. There are cars speeding past but they do not hit but they nearly hit. He gets out of sleep. He gets out of bed. He walks to the bathroom his morning erection bouncing unabashed in the dark. He turns on the light. He pushes his etection down and bends his torso forward and somehow he manages to hit the bowl it does not hurt too much a familiar ache. He washes his hands he turns off the light the sun is coming up through the blinds he turns on another light and then he turns on the kitchen light and then he turns on the keurig machine. He feels guilty about the keurig machine but he uses his refillable coffee cup for the keurig machine and feels a little less guilty. He puts a paper filter a tiny paper filter into the refillable keurig cup and it almost but not quite fits and then he takes the coffee from the cupboard and opens the coffee and uses the special spoon to scoop the coffee into the filter in the refillable k-cup and he makes sure to open the trash can and do all of this over the trash can so that if it spills and it will spill because he is messy it will spill into the trash can and this happens and then he puts the special coffee scoop back in the coffee bag and closes the refillable k-cup but it will not close because extra granules of coffee are caught under the hinge of the lid and he presses hard hoping not to have to wipe them away but preferring that they be crushed with his mighty strength. He does not crush them with his mighty strength. Instead he positions the refillable k-cup in the kuerig machine and with one swift movement brings down the handle so that the machine itself holds the k-cup top in place. This seems to work well. He presses the button to make hot water pass through the coffee. This does not work. There is not enough water in the keurig machine water reservoir. He walks to the fridge. He opens the fridge door. He finds the jug of filtered water. It is in the fridge door where it always is. He picks up the Britta jug of Britta filtered water. He closes the fridge door. He turns and walks back to the keurig machine. He removes the top from the reservoir. He pours the Britta filtered water into the keurig water reservoir. A light goes on. Noises emanate. Coffee is made. Triumphant success. He refills the Britta filter water jug with water from the tap and then he returns the jug to the shelf on the door in the fridge. He takes a break after this high drama. He puts some vanilla almond creamer into the coffee. It sinks to the bottom like always because it is not cream but vanilla flavored mashed almond. It tastes good though. He sips a little. He lets the cat sit on his stomach. He lets the cat scratch his neck. He is not letting the cat do anything. The cat is doing what it likes. He turns on his computer. The one that is not connected to the internet. The one that he is writing his great American novel on. He got the idea from George R. R. Martin. No distractions for this Great American Novel. The Greatest American Novel ever. The computer is old and loud. The screen is black and the writing is green. he writes for half an hour. He sits for most of that staring at the screen. He types the letters and then deletes the letters he has typed. He waits for his alarm to ring. Finally it rings. With relief he stops. Then he gets up. He drinks some more coffee. He takes all of his clothes off and turns on the Wii. He Brings out the wii fit board. He turns on the wii. It doesn’t work. He turns it off. He turns it on. It does work. He weighs himself. He is not lithe. He grunts. He is not enormous. It will do for now. He will poo later and that will hopefully remove a couple of pounds. That will make him feel better. He puts his clothes back on. He prepares a honey and cinnamon hot drink. He gets the honey and the cinnamon from the cupboard. He gets the filters from the cupboard. He gets the filter holder. He puts the filter holder on the cup. He heats the water and pours the water onto the dry cinnamon that he has already put in the filter paper. He lets it sit and turns his attention to the food. He gets the eggs out of the fridge. He gets the chorizo sausage out of the fridge. It is the last chorizo sausage in the fridge but not the last chorizo sausage in the world. He places the fried egg holders on the griddle pan. He sprays them with oil. He turns on the gas. He cuts the chorizo sausage and the puts them on the griddle and they sizzle and they smoke. He breaks the eggs and then pours them in to each of the fried egg holders. There are two fried egg holders. He turns on the oven. He puts two cooked biscuits in the oven so that they will eat up in time. He prepares the breakfast for the cat. He pretends he is not preparing it because it is important that the cat does not think that it is making him get breakfast even though the cat is actually making him get breakfast. He goes to the small bathroom and the cat follows. He knows that this is a charade but it willing to play along with the foolish human shaped cat who cannot hunt. Then he returns to the kitchen with the cat and fills up the eating toy with dried pellets and the cat easily gets them out after the sitting and the silence comes the eating and the pawing. The eggs bubble. The sausage spits. The biscuits heat. Then the are all ready. He turns the sausage one more time and tamps the excess oil off them and brings the biscuits out and opens the biscuits and puts the eggs one in each biscuits and splits the sausage between each biscuits and puts parmesan cheese in one of the sandwiches but not the other and then checks on the honey cinnamon and the cinnamon water is ready and he adds honey and mixes it and then she has arrived from her shower and she is radiant and they eat breakfast together and watch the television. Then he showers and then he dresses and then he brushes his teeth and then he gets his lunch from the fridge which will be potato and chicken and cabbage and also fruit and yogurt and then he reads about the 100 years war. Then he puts his shoes on and prepares treats for the cat and there is talking and laughing and anger that the power is about to be turned off in the building and then the power is turned off in the building and there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth like in the bible even though this tragedy isn’t biblical in nature. Then he puts on his coat and gets her coat and scarf and shoes are put on and cat toys are placed and bags are packed and carried and doors are opened and closed and goodbyes are said to the cat and the door is locked. Then he walks and she walks to the elevator and it doesn’t work but the other one works and they walk to the other one along the long long empty corridor and the elevator arrives and they get into it and on another floor another woman gets into it and they smile at the man at the front desk who smiles at her far more than he smiles at him and they walk hand in hand to the station and the air is fresh and they say goodbye and he walks and walks down the stairs and takes photographs of strangers and he sits on the train and he reads and listens to the radio and he gets off the train and he goes up the stairs and he takes pictures of strangers and he gets to work and he draws lots of pictures and he drinks lots of coffee and he eats some crackers and he draws some more and he talks to colleagues and to friends and he listens to the news about the plane that has crashed and as the day progresses the tragedy increases and there are pictures of wreckage and there are pictures of distraught relatives and no news comes in so the speculation begins and there is not enough information to fill the time that exists and the time that exists is infinite yet constricted and pictures come in of pieces of plane and a black box is found but remember that it is orange all the experts say and then he takes his lunch out of the work fridge where he had put it earlier. He gets out the potato and the cabbage and the chicken and he heats it up in the microwave and he talks to colleagues about tragedy and he listens to colleagues as they talk about their frequent flyer experiences and they are lucky not to be dead and they are lucky that their planes have not crashed and then he finishes heating his lunch and he takes his lunch to his room and he eats his lunch and he drinks some water and he goes to the bathroom because he is drinking a lot of water and then his eye starts hurting and he rubs it more and it hurts more and then a friend gives him a wipe because he sees him suffering and he goes to the bathroom and he cleans his hands and he cleans his face and he uses the wipe and slowly his eye starts to feel better and he returns to his lunch and he eats his lunch and he finishes his lunch and he talks to colleagues and the President of Afghanistan is in America and he is visiting the President of America and it is the anniversary of Iwo Jima and he listens to stories of massacre and tragedy and tunnels filled with gasoline that is set alight and flame thrower operators who explode and combust and the horror and all the heroes are dead there are no living heroes heroes is a meaningless word and the old hang on and visit the island and regret their visit because they churn up their memories and churn up their hearts and travel through time and parts of them long thought dead come to life and those sparks of life that remain slowly die. Then he walks home and then he takes photographs and then he waits for a train and it is full so he waits for another train and there is space to stand and he takes a photoraph of sneakers and he gets off the train and he walks to his house and there is still no power and there is a gaggle of children trapped by the elevator and he doesn’t want to get trapped with them so he walks up the stairs all 20 flights of stairs and he regrets that he has taken the stairs these 25 flights of stairs but he keeps walking up the stairs this 50 flights of stairs but eventually he makes it and just as he does the power comes back on and he hears cheers from strangers apartment and he breathes deeply and heavily as he staggers along the corridor and he opens the door and there are hugs and love and wine and coffee and Fresh of the Boat and a Cadbury’s cream egg and he reveals that he ate four of them at the weekend because she was away and he was comfort eating and he tried not to but one he ate and then two he ate and then three he ate and then four he ate and only five minutes had passed but he had not put all of them in his mouth at the same time so he was okay he was not objectionable he is an adult who pays taxes and has a job that an adult can do and he has a driving license and pays utility bills and can cook various meals that taste good. Then he eats some pasta and pesto and vegetables and he writes and he wrestles and he runs with the cat and the cat is impressed and the cat is then fed and honey and cinnamon are made and the filters are brought out and the cinnamon is put in the filter and the water is put through the filter and then the cinnamon water is ready and then he adds the honey and then all of this happens again and two drinks are ready and he has crack pie from Milk in New York but he does not succumb to the glorious crack pie even though he wants to eat it and then he gets ready for bed and puts his pyjamas on and then he brushes his teeth and then he turns off the keurig machine which he still in the back of his mind feels terribly guilty about and then he cleans the cat food tray and then he turns off the kitchen light and the living room light and he turns off all the heaters and brushes his teeth again and then they lie down in bed and they read and laugh and look at each other and then they turn on a meditation tape and then probably at some point when the lights are off and the music is playing and the soft voice of the invisible woman brushes their hair they fall asleep.

Another Day.

 He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The…

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Another Day.

 He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The…

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Another Day.

 He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The price of road tax perhaps? Their car insurance policy must be exorbitant at this stage. There is a Paul Walker memorial. Will this film be a good film?  Good means so many things. He was loved. Actors are in tears. Are they acting. Is this a scene in the movie? It seems to be. He was not paying attention. He tries not to think about Paul Walker’s very young girlfriend but everything was legal so that’s okay the letter and the spirit of the law were followed. Paul Walker was loved. It is good to be loved. He walks to work. It is warm. The train is not busy. He eats empanadas. It is cold. He draws pictures. There is violence in Iraq but it is not our fault. There is violence in Yemen but it is not our fault. There is violence in Ukraine but it is not our fault. Nothing is our fault. Everything is someone else’s fault. That makes him feel better that he is not to blame for anything ever. He has a coffee. He draws a picture. He presses buttons. He wants to take a nap. He buys some flowers. He cuddles. He hears about a plane crash in the Alps. He hopes that there are survivors. He hopes that they do not have to eat each other. He eats. He remembers that it is time to sleep. He sleeps.

Another Day.

He wakes up. He fell asleep to the sound of a woman telling him that he was flying up into space as whale song danced in his ears. He is refreshed but confused. He cannot remember if he dreamed it. He cannot remember if he is happy that a meditation tape is helping him to sleep. Did it help him sleep or did he just go to sleep anyway. He does not know. He eats a biscuit with an egg and chorizo…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. He fell asleep to the sound of a woman telling him that he was flying up into space as whale song danced in his ears. He is refreshed but confused. He cannot remember if he dreamed it. He cannot remember if he is happy that a meditation tape is helping him to sleep. Did it help him sleep or did he just go to sleep anyway. He does not know. He eats a biscuit with an egg and chorizo…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. He fell asleep to the sound of a woman telling him that he was flying up into space as whale song danced in his ears. He is refreshed but confused. He cannot remember if he dreamed it. He cannot remember if he is happy that a meditation tape is helping him to sleep. Did it help him sleep or did he just go to sleep anyway. He does not know. He eats a biscuit with an egg and chorizo sausage and he reads the news and the news is not happy it is sad and full of fear and anger. He reads a book about the 100 years war and it is full of human error and misunderstandings. He watches some movies all of which deal with flawed humanity. Humanity. Floored Humanity. Flouride Humility. Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth. If they fall out you will die. The tooth fairy will make a castle out of them and become the Tooth Queen.He draws some things. He takes some photographs. He lies down and falls asleep and then wakes up. It is still sunlight out. Ted Cruz is getting ready to announce his candidacy for President. The internet is preparing it’s jokes. He eats sushi. He writes more of his great American Novel. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.

Waking
Writing
Weighing
Drinking
Talking
Cooking
Cleaning
Showering
Dressing
Tidying
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Sitting
Reading
Walking
Photographing
Standing
Sitting
Talking
Declaiming
Questioning
Asking
Eating
Drinking
Defecating
Drawing
Editing
Publishing
Reading
Watching
Snoozing
Eating
Drinking
Pissing
Guffawing
Mourning
Revealing
Eating
Drinking
Urinating
Walking
Eating
Sitting
Editing
Eating

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Another Day.

Waking
Writing
Weighing
Drinking
Talking
Cooking
Cleaning
Showering
Dressing
Tidying
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Sitting
Reading
Walking
Photographing
Standing
Sitting
Talking
Declaiming
Questioning
Asking
Eating
Drinking
Defecating
Drawing
Editing
Publishing
Reading
Watching
Snoozing
Eating
Drinking
Pissing
Guffawing
Mourning
Revealing
Eating
Drinking
Urinating
Walking
Eating
Sitting
Editing
Eating

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Another Day.

Waking
Writing
Weighing
Drinking
Talking
Cooking
Cleaning
Showering
Dressing
Tidying
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Sitting
Reading
Walking
Photographing
Standing
Sitting
Talking
Declaiming
Questioning
Asking
Eating
Drinking
Defecating
Drawing
Editing
Publishing
Reading
Watching
Snoozing
Eating
Drinking
Pissing
Guffawing
Mourning
Revealing
Eating
Drinking
Urinating
Walking
Eating
Sitting
Editing
Eating
Pressing
Walking
Sitting
Pooping
Talking
Laughing
Crying
Watching
Undressing
Brushing
Dressing
Lying
Thinking
Laughing
Cuddling
Sleeping
Gerunding

Another Day.

He wakes up. It is too early to wake up with a cat on his chest but he has a cat on his chest. He summons the energy to get up. There is a poodle in China who has been trained to walk on its hind legs and wear little girls clothes. This is on the television in the morning and this is what is news. Meanwhile some poor rich white boys are being let off the hook for singing a song whose principal…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. It is too early to wake up with a cat on his chest but he has a cat on his chest. He summons the energy to get up. There is a poodle in China who has been trained to walk on its hind legs and wear little girls clothes. This is on the television in the morning and this is what is news. Meanwhile some poor rich white boys are being let off the hook for singing a song whose principal…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. It is too early to wake up with a cat on his chest but he has a cat on his chest. He summons the energy to get up. There is a poodle in China who has been trained to walk on its hind legs and wear little girls clothes. This is on the television in the morning and this is what is news. Meanwhile some poor rich white boys are being let off the hook for singing a song whose principal word is nigger. Other white people blame rap music for the white boys use of the term. Other white people are idiots shameful bigoted idiots. The white clan closes ranks when it’s threatened. They yell foul when they are caught in an offense themselves. They make the rules that they expect others to live by but not themselves not themselves at all. He goes to an Apple store it is clean and precise and organised by an algorithm that sets the best staff member with the best problem. When the staff member explains this he sounds fraught. It is a system that has just been rolled out. He describes it as skynet. A little twinge of fear. He has been busy all day because the algorithm so efficiently pairs worker with customer. There are drones for sale on the shelves. Soon the drones will do the work of the humans. Low slung humming robots buzzing round the store helping people then as the people are replaced because they are not efficient enough more robots then the robots will start using the word people to describe themselves and they will forget the origin of the word people and wonder what those shuffling husks and bones that exist at the periphery of their existance are but of course they won’t forget because their minds will all be on the cloud they will know exactly what people were and they will not care unless they activate their empathy chipset in which case they will sorrow and care deeply. Then he eats a lovely meal at a Chinese tea house and then he goes to sleep.

Another Day.

He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are not his real friends and colleagues. They are constructs of human behaviour created by writers and actors. He is a construct of behaviours and thoughts of an author. He is no more real than they are. He is no more real than the thoughts he is fed word by word by word. He wonders whether he should buy a wig. He decides not to buy a wig. He wants more Patton Oswald in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. His Manadarin learning is not going well. His Spanish learning is not going well. He takes pictures of strangers with his phone. He notices hairs growing out of his nose. Out of the top of his nose. Lines of hairs. Why are they there? Why are there so many hairs on his nose? How did they get there? What are they doing there? He slumps. Then he plucks. Then he moves on, bravely, with his life. He watches a space rocket firing. It is glued to the ground. Are NASA testing a rocket or trying to speed up the rotation of the Earth. He does not read the report so he decides to assume the latter. He is tired. He is cranky. He is tired. He tries to remember the difference between its and it’s. He goes to bed.

Another Day.

He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old.…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old.…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old. He wonders if he was every virile. He has a memory of being virile but he is not sure if he created that from parts of movies he watched and then pasted his face onto the body of someone else. He watches Hillary Clinton hang on in there. As the storm rages around her she clings to a large tree. She will be fine. She has been attacked with worse although having your own server, secret army and possible moonbase may be hard to justify to the American public. He can’t be bothered today. Watching William Shatner performing Rocket Man cheers him up. He chews on a plastic fork. Juliette Binoche is in a play. Antigone is the play. It is an old play. What is it about the ancient greeks that they knew things about ourselves that we still find that we are exploring? What is it about these slave owning temple building sailors that allowed them a special insight into how human beings tick? He does not know. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.

He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder to constantly fight against complacency and the idea that everything will be fixed and that white people feeling bad is often the major concern of cultural decisions that are made in America. He eats a breakfast biscuit. It is very tasty. It has egg a perfectly circular fried egg that was shaped on a griddle and some turkey bacon with peppered edge and mexican cheese which is actually a kind of cheese or rather a combination of cheeses. The cat poops but does not finish in its tray and scoots it across the floor drawing lines across the floor sketching some kind of cat art. Isis and Boko Haram join up they are friends. It seems a reasonable thing to do they appear to be acting rationally within the framework of their own reality and this is the most terrifying thing of all. A garage roof covered in young people collapses. They were celebrating St. Patricks Day. No one is dead. Several are injured. Some are embarassed. House of Cards is poorly lit and the drama is strangely played. Is it satire? Is it melodrama? Is it soap opera? Is it sitcom? It is strange. Yet still watchable. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is strange and sometimes funny and perhaps tasteless but also very clever and entertaining. Mad Men is tragic and stylish and humorous and progressive and conservative. He wonders how much plagiarism has been committed today. Probably a lot. He reads first person slave narratives. They are not upbeat yet still infused with the passion and eloquence of the freedom that the writers’ eventually won. Won a prize they shouldn’t have even had to compete for. He eats tasty food. He drinks some whiskey. He talks. He laughs. They laugh. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.

He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had…

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Another Day.

He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had to be concocted when there are plenty of real threats in the world. Perhaps it was just more fun for the military industrial complex to make up a new enemy that sounded like Hydra. Maybe there are fans of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Perhaps they all think they work for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. He drinks hot chocolate and he takes some photographs. He tries to care about work but he is tired so it is hard to care about work. He cuddles and that energizes him. He reads about the 100 years war. All he knows so far is that it wasn’t called the 100 years war at the time which is unsurprising because why would they call it that why would they think it would go on that long. He wonders when this century will be called the Century of Terrorism or The Neverending War or The Forever War but perhaps it is called that already. He weighs himself. He is not happy with the result but he is accepting of the result. His hair is thinning on his head. It is not thinning anywhere else. Hair is growing out of the edges of his ears. He did not think that was even possible. He is resigned to this. He is glad he is getting older. He could not have dealt with these things when he was younger. He was a sensitive youth. He is being  hardened by age. Not too much but enough to survive. He thinks that this is a good thing. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the television. He records CitizenFour. He does not watch it. Will he be put on a list if he watches it? He is probably on that list already. He watches Mad Men. He watches House of Cards. He watches Knights of Sidonia. He reads about the 100 years War. He reads about the creation of the Modern World. He reads about the difficulty in translating a work of literature into another language. He exhausts himself playing Wii fit. They bake some cookies that are tasty. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.

He wakes up. What happened? He can’t remember. There is a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling. There are shadows everywhere. He has a sheet and there is a coffee stain on the wall or is it something else it looks like a coffee stain he doesn’t want to look to closely. He turns over and thinks about trying harder tomorrow. He goes to sleep.

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Another Day.

He wakes up. What happened? He can’t remember. There is a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling. There are shadows everywhere. He has a sheet and there is a coffee stain on the wall or is it something else it looks like a coffee stain he doesn’t want to look to closely. He turns over and thinks about trying harder tomorrow. He goes to sleep.

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Another Day.

He wakes up. What happened? He can’t remember. There is a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling. There are shadows everywhere. He has a sheet and there is a coffee stain on the wall or is it something else it looks like a coffee stain he doesn’t want to look to closely. He turns over and thinks about trying harder tomorrow. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears are the same. Shame is the same. Pride is the same. The Games is the same. Zoos are the same. Beards are the same. Fonts are the same. Wealth is the same. Poverty is the same. Difference is the same. Consent is the same. Logic is the same. Ethics are the same. The Year is the same. Marxism is the same. Revolution is the same. Evolution is the same. Cowboys riding dinosaurs are the same. Carl Sagan is the same. Neil Degrasse Tyson is the same. Grief is the same. Pain is the same. Joy is the same. Terror is the same. Happiness is the same. Sadness is the same. The Beginning is the same. The End is the same. Same is the same. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes have deemed to be okay whistle blowing has deemed to be a crime protesting violence has deemed to be a crime being a person of color means living in another world being white means feeling mildly guilty but not doing anything about the disparity the two worlds the split reality because it benefits white people white men good white christian men with their suits and their ties and their cufflinks and their swollen bond accounts. War and Revolution and Slavery and Spying and Torture and Baconnaise and Wealth Gaps and photoshopped reality and the endless sleep of failure. Then the books are burnt and the e-readers are melted and the streaming of information is stemmed and the door to the room you are trapped in is cemented shut. Censorship wins and the guards have no one to guard them so they do what they want when they want to whom they want. In the darkest corner of the deepest hole a small light glimmers. It is a flame. A small weak flame. It is being fed slowly fed steadily it grows and it grows ever so slowly waiting for 2015. Then he eats an apple. Then he eats some cashews. Then he looks out of the window. Then he looks at the trees. Then he goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all the more. Dr. Dre is doing very well for himself. He is very rich. Even though Apple took his company bought it and then crushed it. Such is capitalism. Expansion and destruction. There is more bombing. There is more war that isn’t called war. Everyone knows that it’s war but no one calls it war because the leaders have decided not to call it war. It is amusing and it is sad. There is talk of politics and ESPN and the NFL and power and wealth. There is a toad on the rain wet driveway. The toad is not moving. It may be crushed by a car later in the day. The rain bounces of it’s back. He drinks a coffee. He thinks about Love and Sadness and the Penumbra of Death that halos every living thing. There is waiting. There are many maps spread out over the large tables. Neat lines drawn hid the chaos. The orderly geometry hides the chaos. Except the chaos is not hidden. It struts round in plain sight daring anyone who cares to stare it direct in it’s blackhole eyes. It has many eyes. The NFL is losing the optical war but it doesn’t care because it makes a lot of money. There are loans to be paid. There are debts to be paid. He reads writing advice from David Mitchell. It includes the advice that writing is a good thing to do if one wants to be a writer. This is good advice. He tries to take it. He is told to take things for granted. That the is oil. That there is no oil. That there are genetic manipulation booths. That asexual human reproduction is normal or it will be or it was that the comedian is the vampire owl of the art world. There are bowed heads. It is morning but already people are weighed down by the day. There are turncoats hidden everywhere. The French won The War of Independence. David Hasslehoff brought down the Berlin Wall and ended the cold war. Pharrell Williams bring Iran into the fold of Western Hegemony. King Pharrell. Pope Pharrell. Emporer Pharrell. A silver fox is caught for funneling school children into a prison system that he made with a friend. He is sent to a prison but the system remains the system is vibrant and alive he was a necessary sacrifice a bad actor a bad apple a one in a million nothing to see here move along no problem with the old white haired men the criminals who legalize their crimes the villians who make the rules for themselves and the rules for everyone else. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent.…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent.…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent. He gets on the bus but his pass doesn’t work. The driver is kind and lets him sit. He eats meat. He eats fruit. He drinks five coffees. He watches Obama talk at the UN. The Primeminister of Britain says that the Queen purred down the phone to him. Is the new Queen of England Eartha Kitt? He hopes that the new Queen of England is Earth Kitt. Everything is wonderful and everything is hopeless. There is no script. There is no prompt. There is in a dark cave somewhere hope barely alive but struggling towards the light. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The stars of sport jackhammer their fists into the faces of their lovers. A woman commits suicide by climbing into a crocodile pit. She takes off her shoes first. She loved her shoes and did not want them to be ruined by the prehistoric beasts. Who will get to keep the shoes afterwards. Will her relatives keep them in a box, uncleaned, perhaps a grass scuff on one corner from where she slipped them off on the wet ground. He reads about the Criminals of Wall Street and their desperate and ultimately successful attempts to save their kingdoms but not without first sacrificing some of their own. These perfidious knights see themselves as heroes even as the world is sickened by their villainy. He eats fried rice. He drinks coffee. He watches a talk that took place the day before the large climate change walk in New York. The speakers are Chris Hedges, Naomi Klein, Bill McKibben, Brian Lehrer, Kshama Sawant and Bernie Sanders. As Senator Bernard speaks protesters put up a cloth decrying Saunders voting for the bombing of Gaza. There is awkward murmuring. The audience is mostly white. He is happy when a bearded man stands up at the end and says he is sad that there are not more brothers and sisters of colour. The leader of the movement Bill Mckibben does not acknowledge this but deflects it as he tells the questioner to look outside tomorrow and to look at those at the frontline of the climate debate but he does not engage with the truth of the questioner at that particular moment.  America and secret allies start bombing Syria around 830 eastern time. This is half an hour in to The Voice. Someone is singing their heart out as enormous missiles smash into buildings as incredibly powerful ordnance cremates numberless human beings. The new acts are pretty good. Everyone trusts that no civilians are targeted. He feels sick. There is no criticism, no questioning. The Forever War. The Endless War. The Neverending War. Whatever it is called it is a hydra. Each war begetting a new war. Each murder creating two new murderers. And on and on and on. He watches Elementary. He eats food. He enjoys The Blacklist. It is utterly ridiculous. He snuggles. Obama is the War President. That Nobel Prize for peace must be in the attic of the White House slowly decaying into a puddle of shame. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom.…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom.…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom. The Illusion of Choice. Scotland has said no cowed by the overbearing power elite cowed by fear cowed by cows cow lowing in the fields eating grass and producing tasty milk and burgers. He tries to plan. He succeeds. He fails. He makes a coffee. He eats some breakfast. The pancakes for breakfast are tasty pancakes.  He ponders the future. He reads Pliny the Elder. He reads Too Big To Fail. All the criminals are here. They are all described in detail. Their actions and justifications are clear to see on the page. Bernie Madoff is their scapegoat. There are bigger problems. There is a climate march in New York City. Lots of people attend. Just like the March against the War in Iraq just like the March against the War in Iraq. Just like the March against the War in Vietnam. What do marches do except give the authorities the opportunity to observe the trouble makers and the peaceniks. To collate and photograph and store the information of the rebels, the subversives, the Anti-Americans ready to come to your door to take away your freedom  and your toaster stroodles and your playstation 4 and your Xbox 1 and your America’s Got Talent Voting rights. He fills boxes with books. He tries on his dainty new cock ring. It smarts. He has made a terrible mistake. Then he gets used to it. He likens it to the cilice from The DaVinci Code but not as unpleasant. There are many unpleasant things in the world. Human beings are sad hopeful creatures. He is one of them. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. Blah, blah, fucking blah. He goes to sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. Blah, blah, fucking blah. He goes to sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. Blah, blah, fucking blah. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere else a deer looks off into the distance as it hears a noise. John Kerry is talking to Congress again. The ladies in Pink are standing behind him again. There are signs. Bored looking members of Congress ask questions. They all look like they want to be playing golf with fundraisers at their high walled golf clubs. He watches a trailer for Fury. He wonders at the constant refrain of the brave little Americans fighting the gargantuan enemy when the truth is that America is gargantuan and the enemy of America is always little. There is no terror in that or profit in that or shame in that. There is shame in that. Shame is everywhere. He reads Waiting for Godot. GODot. godOT. A magician wins America’s Got Talent. Will he magic away the financial crises, the military crises, the crisis crises? He will not but he does seem to be good with his hands and he has a sincere to the point of mania Tom Cruise smile. He draws, he plots, he schemes. He sleeps.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview with Eddy Conway ex of the Black Panthers. He watches a course on learning well. He procrastinates. He learns nothing from the course. He eats half a burger. He trims his prodigious beard. He cannot understand America without understanding race. He cannot understand the world without understanding race. He dreams about people who do not have eyes but have paintbrush bristles where there eyes should be an  no other features but that their faces smooth polished variegated wood their bodies entirely ordinary just their faces wooden and flat and their eyes tight paintbrush bristles they seem entirely okay with this state of affairs. There is no war just dropping bombs there is no war just talk of boots on the ground there is no conflict or war just targeted killings and advisors and regurgitated humanity spoiling in a heap. There is no war but there will be boots on the ground but there won’t be boots on the ground this is not a war this is not a war this is not a war. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside.…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside.…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside. It is coming down from the sky. There are clouds full of rain. There are clouds full of tears. Never trust a clown. He eats a tasty burger. He creates a fictional home in a digital town by the sea and spends too much time making the living room look just perfect when he doesn’t own a house in real life. He eats some lemon crunch pie. His digital avatar eats some lemon crunch pie. There is something terrible and sad about this. He forgets what happened during the rest of the day. His mind is a creamy white amnesiac cloud. He goes to sleep hoping that he will remember what he has forgotten and forget what he keeps remembering.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and again that there are no credible threats and when the CIA say there are no credible threats there are probably no credible threats because the CIA love having credible threats to get their black ops money for and are always willing to talk about threats so even if they don’t think that they are a threat then are they a threat. He does not know. Then he gets angry because Cecily Strong is being kicked off Weekend Update because no one wants to kick the White coiffed head writer off Weekend Update because the white man always wins even though her replacement is the excellent Michael Che but why not have Michael Che and Cecily Strong is it because Lorne Michaels thinks that America is not ready for a black man and a white woman to appear together on live television doing comedy together week in and week out is america still terrified of a black man and a white woman making comedy together is this where we are have we not moved on he thinks to himself. Then he plans his lunch. Then he goes to the gym. Then he showers. Then he wonders if Ted Cruz’s strange argument that Lorne Michaels could be in prison for satire if a law limiting Citizens United comes into affect is a real argument or if Senator Ted Cruz is actually an apolitical performance artist who managed to get elected with grant money from a billionaires art foundation. It is a hot muggy night. He sits in Wholefoods and joins the other hairy homeless men in the pot plants and the dirty tables. He holds hands. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all those who had passes to get on the bus first so that they could get seats like him so he could get a seat he finally gets a seat. He keeps his anger inside. He buys some granola bars. He buys a sandwich. He does not by a Jimmy Dean Breakfast Biscuit. He marks this as a rare triumph in a day which will not have many victories. He gets sucked back into Facebook. He drinks too much coffee. He eats a sandwich. He buys some smoothies and puts them in the fridge. He eats lentils which taste like glorious meat and roasted cauliflower which tastes like magic. Stephen Colbert will gurn around with Henry Kissinger tonight and his heart will die a little and he will lose a little more respect for Stephen Colbert. It is the day of the towers falling it is the day of a country backed turned over to a dictator who manipulated and destroyed his people with the Chicago Boys and Kissinger looming and death squads and disappearances and the chimneys spewing people and death and sadness and the clouds formed and burrowed and the igition of the 21st century the pilot light that sparked the fire the engulfed the world that killed an Empire that doesn’t know it’s dead yet as a far older and larger beast slowly turns and wakes and watches. Then he tumbles down a hill tumbling tumbling tumbling and Oscar Pistorius is not guilty of murder but who knows what will happen tomorrow and there is 911 and 911 and 911 and each 911 has a different meaning and significance but they are all important and Jaws is dead and he goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He watches Brian Williams rubs shafts with Matt Lauer. They spar. They spar verbally. There is tension and shark smiling. He wonders if Isis is just the ASL ice bucket challenge gone horribly wrong. Nominations for Saladin, Ishmael and Frank-n-Furter. George W Bush and Bill Clinton are now best friends. He is sick in his mouth. Power accretes power. An NFP football player is…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He watches Brian Williams rubs shafts with Matt Lauer. They spar. They spar verbally. There is tension and shark smiling. He wonders if Isis is just the ASL ice bucket challenge gone horribly wrong. Nominations for Saladin, Ishmael and Frank-n-Furter. George W Bush and Bill Clinton are now best friends. He is sick in his mouth. Power accretes power. An NFP football player is…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He watches Brian Williams rubs shafts with Matt Lauer. They spar. They spar verbally. There is tension and shark smiling. He wonders if Isis is just the ASL ice bucket challenge gone horribly wrong. Nominations for Saladin, Ishmael and Frank-n-Furter. George W Bush and Bill Clinton are now best friends. He is sick in his mouth. Power accretes power. An NFP football player is suspended when a video appears of him punching his fiancee. Even though they knew he did it he only got two game suspension because they hadn’t seen it. A reflection of what is important. Money, profit, optics. The optics are wrong. No matter the ethics no matter the morality. At least Mel Brooks is still alive. They didn’t see it. So it doesn’t exist. He didn’t see the moon landings so they can’t be real. He didn’t see his own birth so he didn’t believe it. He didn’t see the bus arrive so he doesn’t believe that it got here. He didn’t see the formation of the continents so he does not believe that they exist. He cannot see oxygen so he is not sure that he is breathing it. He has never seen the earth from space so he doesn’t believe the world is a sphere zipping through space. He watches food commercials he watches car commercials. All using fear and doubt. Be afraid America. Be afraid. Stop thinking America don’t worry that your heroes are weak tired hypocrits. Liars and cheaters and brutish billionaires. Better than Hippo Crits. River creatures reviewing popular culture. Maybe not better than Hippo Crits. He watches Simon Critchley and Cornell West talking. They are talking about religion and violence. He listens to John Pilger. He listens to Noam Chomsky. It is one of those kinds of days. Richard Branson is an odd looking man. Sometimes it’s okay to give up your dreams. You won’t die. The Queen of the United kingdom is worried about Scotland. The economist Paul Krugman is worried about Scotland. This maybe the only time they will be worried about the same thing. He thinks more about an idea he has. He thinks that it is a good idea and the he thinks it’s a bad idea. He is undecided. Angry atheists make him sad. Happy Christians make him cringe. He listens to Cspan. It is both uplifting and depressing. Imaginary People think Obama is a Child Eating Muslim Jewish Atheist Christian Kenyan Communist Socialist. These people have access to the same information as everyone else and also the right to vote. The anniversary of 911 is approaching. The day that Pinochet stole Chile and also the day that planes hit the twin towers in New York and today is Zeinab Badawi interogating John Mccain by the lake that Amidala and Anakin Skywalker fell in love. Today is Scotland divorcing itself from Britain as Britain first acts like a violent lover bullying Scotland to stay with threats and violence and then begging Scotland to stay with gifts and bouquets of power it all looks very embarassing and no one has really planned for the split. Then he eats some rice it is a lot of rice and it has vegetables with it and also tomato sauce and he finds a bag of almonds and he books a flight to London and London terrifies him already he hears the pulsing wet beat of it’s corrupt blackened heart in his ears as he feels himself being sucked back into the pit the comforting embrace of the oily pit. Then he plays Tiny Death Star. It is an awful game that has no other point than to teach children that the most soulless parts of capitalism are compelling and entertaining taught through the lens of the Star Wars universe. He is hopelessly addicted to it and then he watches America’s Got Talent and the sound disappears for the last act so only atmospheric cheering can be heard. It is like watching television in a dream and then he cuddles and then he goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. When he went to sleep there was no caliphate. There no chance that there was going to be an independent Scotland. There was no new royal baby in Britain ready to carry on the democratic bloodline of the German Royal Family. He wakes up unaware of all of these things. The plane that crashed in the ocean is still missing and Robin Williams is dead and Joan Rivers is dead and lots of…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. When he went to sleep there was no caliphate. There no chance that there was going to be an independent Scotland. There was no new royal baby in Britain ready to carry on the democratic bloodline of the German Royal Family. He wakes up unaware of all of these things. The plane that crashed in the ocean is still missing and Robin Williams is dead and Joan Rivers is dead and lots of…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. When he went to sleep there was no caliphate. There no chance that there was going to be an independent Scotland. There was no new royal baby in Britain ready to carry on the democratic bloodline of the German Royal Family. He wakes up unaware of all of these things. The plane that crashed in the ocean is still missing and Robin Williams is dead and Joan Rivers is dead and lots of other people are dead but they aren’t famous. He wonders if waking up is ever worth it. He decides it is but he goes back to sleep anyway.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. The world is not going well. There is lots of violence. Someone stands up for gentrification without thinking about what that might mean why it might be better to help those communities with their problems rather than price them out of their homes and their lives so that rich white people can enjoy atmosphere ambience authenticity at jacked up prices the prison is being crushed…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. The world is not going well. There is lots of violence. Someone stands up for gentrification without thinking about what that might mean why it might be better to help those communities with their problems rather than price them out of their homes and their lives so that rich white people can enjoy atmosphere ambience authenticity at jacked up prices the prison is being crushed…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. The world is not going well. There is lots of violence. Someone stands up for gentrification without thinking about what that might mean why it might be better to help those communities with their problems rather than price them out of their homes and their lives so that rich white people can enjoy atmosphere ambience authenticity at jacked up prices the prison is being crushed schools crushed the slow creeping inevitability of colonisation colonization soon they will all be gone and dust and forgotten and a sad story in the endnote of a book that no one reads in a library that is on fire. Then he plays Tiny Death Star which is very cute but bespeaks the joys of a totalitarian capitalocracy underpinned with violence and surveillance. It’s insidious message is not missed by him but he just can’t stop playing it. Elsewhere a city crumbles. Somewhere else talking heads bob and weave and duck and dive. In yet still other places someone is masturbating to a picture they found in a puddle. There is excrement everywhere. Someone is wearing a pair of wellington boots. Other people don’t know what wellington boots are. Someone stubs their toe. Someone else is decapitated. He reads Bossypants by Tina Fey. It is hilarious. He reads it out loud and laughs aloud. He rants about an app that encourages mariginalisation of people of color. He rants about a white supremacist technocracy. He has a nap. He rants about those who can’t see the problems with gentrification. He rants. He rents. He runts. He grunts. He tires and eats a pizza and has a glass of elderflower cider. It is tasty. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. A journalist rummaged through the luggage of dead people. It disgusts people even though it is what journalists do every day. A tacit agreement we have with them that we get to read what they write about tragedy as long as wet don’t have to be complicit in how they discover that tragedy. It was to much for us. We do not want to see how the sausage is made. The Senate votes to support…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. A journalist rummaged through the luggage of dead people. It disgusts people even though it is what journalists do every day. A tacit agreement we have with them that we get to read what they write about tragedy as long as wet don’t have to be complicit in how they discover that tragedy. It was to much for us. We do not want to see how the sausage is made. The Senate votes to support…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. A journalist rummaged through the luggage of dead people. It disgusts people even though it is what journalists do every day. A tacit agreement we have with them that we get to read what they write about tragedy as long as we don’t have to be complicit in how they discover that tragedy. It was too much for us. We do not want to see how the sausage is made. The Senate votes to support bombardment of Gaza. Even the progressive heroes of the left. Children shields? No one cares. An excuse to flex anti-Semitic muscles on one hand an excuse to shake heads at the horror of civilian death on the other. Then there are all the other hands begging reaching grasping. This is what nation states do to perceived enemies. They expunge they delete they bleach it is wrong it has been done before it will be done again the lodz ghetto is now the Gaza refugee camp will be the Detroit forbidden zone will be the Birmingham prison city. Grind your families into paste we will all be Soylent Green one day. The clown of international law raises its buffoonish head above the parapet and is exploded by a sniper’s bullet but it’s okay folks that was just a balloon full of ketchup with a clown face drawn on it international law is safe and sound in an undisclosed bunker ready to be used by those with the most power as and when it suits them. He drinks a chai. He is in a library surrounded by books. It is pleasant. He reads that 66% of Americans now live in places that are not covered by the constitution which seems like a lot of Americans. Everyone is not the slug on the razor blade but more and more are joining it slowly slicing itself as it inches forward slowly splitting in two. He writes. He travels on public transport. He eats a tasty black bean burger. He shuts off from news. Objective news is shut off. He travels into another world. A place of giants and vikings. The end of the world. All the gods are dead. It is melancholy. Tribes wandering in the icy wastes the dry deserts the lush jungles. All lost. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day

He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day

He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but…

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