Horrorscope – Thursday 14th February 2014


horrorscopes title

Your love charges by the hour.

Your love charges by the hour.

All your teeth will fall out and each tooth will grow into a beautiful flower shaped like a heart. You will still have no teeth.

All your teeth will fall out and each tooth will grow into a beautiful flower shaped like a heart. You will still have no teeth.

Love songs are warnings from the future. Heed them.Love songs are warnings…

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Horrorscope – Thursday 14th February 2014


horrorscopes title

Your love charges by the hour.

Your love charges by the hour.

All your teeth will fall out and each tooth will grow into a beautiful flower shaped like a heart. You will still have no teeth.

All your teeth will fall out and each tooth will grow into a beautiful flower shaped like a heart. You will still have no teeth.

Love songs are warnings from the future. Heed them.Love songs are warnings…

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Horrorscope – Thursday 14th February 2014


horrorscopes title

Cutethulu – Lewis Carroll Meets H.P. Lovecraft Meets Twee.


It’s nearly Valentine’s Day. What better way to celebrate that perfect union betwixt you and your special one by gifting them a t-shirt like this one:

cutethulu_t_shirt-rc978f02a5e12491fb53aeeb114c1ea00_804gs_324

I thought I was being really clever but apparently I’m not the first person to put the word CUTE and the word CTHULU together and then draw a twee version of The Elder One.

Even so, given that my 401k isn’t going so well and this t-shirt is awesome I recommend you buy one for someone you love.

Valentine’s Day! Patron Saint of The Elder Gods!*

*I’m going to hell.

Me Without You.


A diver without an aqualung,

A paedophile without the young.

A camel with no hump,

A boxer with no thump.

A clown without any fun,

An American without a gun.

Strawberries without cream,

The BFG without a dream.

Communism without Marx,

An underwater adventure without sharks.

Christianity without the philosophy of Greeks,

The Welsh stereotype without leeks.

A monk without a cowl,

An archaeologist without a trowel.

A Catholic without the guilt,

A Scotsman without his kilt.

A gun without a bullet,

An 80’s pop star without a mullet.

Sex without any sweat,

A sick animal without a vet.

Santa without a reindeer,

A pervert without a leer.

A war without deaths,

A tramp without meths.

The Psyche without the Self

A ninja without stealth.

A widow without a shroud,

A mushroom without a cloud.

Four horsemen without an apocalypse,

The Queen Mother without broken hips.

Jack without Daniel,

An aristocrat without a spaniel.

Hercules without tasks,

Balls without masques.

The police without crime,

Coleridge without a Rime.

Muslims without jihad,

Addicts without rehab.

Gaffers without grips,

Fish without chips.

Roman Emperors without insanity,

Fair without the Vanity.

Haunting without a ghost,

Sunday without a roast.

Christmas with no suicide,

A playground without a slide.

Meals with no eating,

The Olympics with no cheating.

Pull without a Force,

Death without a horse.

A storm without the rain,

Fisting without any pain.

Silence without peace,

Pain without release.

An Italian without a scooter,

A six-gun without a shooter.

Depression minus the manic,

Start of the century without the Titanic.

A sniffer without glue,

Is like me without you.

A foot without a shoe,

Is like me without you.

Caged animals without a zoo,

Is like me without you.

Culture of Illusion – Valentine.


Valentine.
Thumb heart in snow.

Thumb print heart pressed in the snow

Bitter memory of prior woe.

Hold them close on this day

Before the snow melts all away.


Snow heart on Flickr.

As the day comes to an end let us here wish you a cold heart to keep you warm as you go to bed tonight, whether alone with your thoughts, or accompanied by your solitude.


Snow heart on Flickr.

As the day comes to an end let us here wish you a cold heart to keep you warm as you go to bed tonight, whether alone with your thoughts, or accompanied by your solitude.