Your love charges by the hour.
All your teeth will fall out and each tooth will grow into a beautiful flower shaped like a heart. You will still have no teeth.
Love songs are warnings…
Tag: Valentine
Horrorscope – Thursday 14th February 2014
Your love charges by the hour.
All your teeth will fall out and each tooth will grow into a beautiful flower shaped like a heart. You will still have no teeth.
Horrorscope – Thursday 14th February 2014
Cutethulu – Lewis Carroll Meets H.P. Lovecraft Meets Twee.
It’s nearly Valentine’s Day. What better way to celebrate that perfect union betwixt you and your special one by gifting them a t-shirt like this one:
I thought I was being really clever but apparently I’m not the first person to put the word CUTE and the word CTHULU together and then draw a twee version of The Elder One.
Even so, given that my 401k isn’t going so well and this t-shirt is awesome I recommend you buy one for someone you love.
Valentine’s Day! Patron Saint of The Elder Gods!*
*I’m going to hell.
Me Without You.
A diver without an aqualung,
A paedophile without the young.
A camel with no hump,
A boxer with no thump.
A clown without any fun,
An American without a gun.
Strawberries without cream,
The BFG without a dream.
Communism without Marx,
An underwater adventure without sharks.
Christianity without the philosophy of Greeks,
The Welsh stereotype without leeks.
A monk without a cowl,
An archaeologist without a trowel.
A Catholic without the guilt,
A Scotsman without his kilt.
A gun without a bullet,
An 80’s pop star without a mullet.
Sex without any sweat,
A sick animal without a vet.
Santa without a reindeer,
A pervert without a leer.
A war without deaths,
A tramp without meths.
The Psyche without the Self
A ninja without stealth.
A widow without a shroud,
A mushroom without a cloud.
Four horsemen without an apocalypse,
The Queen Mother without broken hips.
Jack without Daniel,
An aristocrat without a spaniel.
Hercules without tasks,
Balls without masques.
The police without crime,
Coleridge without a Rime.
Muslims without jihad,
Addicts without rehab.
Gaffers without grips,
Fish without chips.
Roman Emperors without insanity,
Fair without the Vanity.
Haunting without a ghost,
Sunday without a roast.
Christmas with no suicide,
A playground without a slide.
Meals with no eating,
The Olympics with no cheating.
Pull without a Force,
Death without a horse.
A storm without the rain,
Fisting without any pain.
Silence without peace,
Pain without release.
An Italian without a scooter,
A six-gun without a shooter.
Depression minus the manic,
Start of the century without the Titanic.
A sniffer without glue,
Is like me without you.
A foot without a shoe,
Is like me without you.
Caged animals without a zoo,
Is like me without you.
Culture of Illusion – Valentine.
Thumb print heart pressed in the snow
Bitter memory of prior woe.
Hold them close on this day
Before the snow melts all away.
