Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. It is early. It is mild. He is mild. He gets into the shower and he turns all taps to the correct temperature immediately. It is going to be a good day. He has a coffee and he eats a slice of pie and even though his car is now dead again and…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. It is early. It is mild. He is mild. He gets into the shower and he turns all taps to the correct temperature immediately. It is going to be a good day. He has a coffee and he eats a slice of pie and even though his car is now dead again and…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He frees himself from unpleasant dreams that only leave ominous after images in his brain of a relationship gone horribly wrong and overbearing men and unsatisfied desire. Then he eats some more left overs from Thanksgiving and he tries to…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He frees himself from unpleasant dreams that only leave ominous after images in his brain of a relationship gone horribly wrong and overbearing men and unsatisfied desire. Then he eats some more left overs from Thanksgiving and he tries to…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He frees himself from unpleasant dreams that only leave ominous after images in his brain of a relationship gone horribly wrong and overbearing men and unsatisfied desire. Then he eats some more left overs from Thanksgiving and he tries to start his car with a battery starter but it does not work but it does make the radio work so he sits in what is now his four wheeled radio and listens to the adventures from Lake Woebegone for a while and then he takes the batter starter back inside and he wonders where the Thanksgiving weekend has gone and he reads some more Moll Flanders and he plays some more Words with Friends and he reads about Jeff Bezos’ new plan to deliver packages to people via drone and he does not trust Jeff Bezos because he seems more and more like a villain in a Dr. Who episode laying out an incredibly complicated plot by making it so the world ends up being owned entirely by him so he can then impregnate us all with whatever he wants to impregnate us with. Then he eats some more pie and he feels that this Thanks Giving weekend is getting too long and he is getting bored with it and then he has a nap and then he learns that Paul Walker is dead and he died yesterday in a car crash which is very sad and then he sees that The Republican Party are being made fun of because they celebrated the life or Rosa Parks by saying that she ended racism which is amusing for lots of reasons and then he watches an episode of The Simpsons and then an old episode of Family Guy where Brian is still alive and he wonders if Brian is going to come back to life and it will be a complicated Time travel episode and the shock value of a death in the famil will just be an extended punchline and then he plays Age of Empires III and he directs his tiny little avatars to move around the landscape to cut down trees and mine for silver and hunt deer and trade with native americans and no doubt later on down the road sell them pox ridden blankets and worthless legal documents regarding their land and property. Then he goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He has made no plans for Thanks giving he has no plans for The Indigenous Peoples Sunrise Ceremony but he is not in San Francisco today so he cannot travel by boat to Alcatraz to mourn the genocide of tribes he has no direct connection to. He…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He has made no plans for Thanks giving he has no plans for The Indigenous Peoples Sunrise Ceremony but he is not in San Francisco today so he cannot travel by boat to Alcatraz to mourn the genocide of tribes he has no direct connection to. He…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He has made no plans for Thanks giving he has no plans for The Indigenous Peoples Sunrise Ceremony but he is not in San Francisco today so he cannot travel by boat to Alcatraz to mourn the genocide of tribes he has no direct connection to. He sits in bed and ponders whether to invite himself to various dinners but Boston is now too far away and North Carolina is too far away and his car won’t start again so he walks to the store and he is going to buy a turkey sandwich but then he sees all the families buying food and wine and cheese and he decides to make himself a thanks giving dinner so he buys potatoes and he buys spinach and cream and butternut squash and turkey balls and gravy and stuffing and beetroot and potato salad and wine and cider and he remembers with delight the spare banoffie pie in his fridge that he spent hours making and he remembers with delight the sweet potato fries that are left in his freezer from earlier in the week and he buys some macaroni and cheese and then he walks home and strangers wish him a Happy Thanksgiving with real joy and happiness in their eyes and he responds with similar joy and smiles and he is happy as he enters his house from the cold outside and he drinks cider and he watches the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie are a delight and Al Roker is a delight and the celebrities are more excited to see him than he is to see them because he is an institution – the Nation’s Weatherman which is no small title. Then he enjoys the floats and the balloons and there is a Hello Kitty and a Finn and Jake and a Santa and a Smurf and a Sonic the Hedgehog and with each comes the sales patter massaging everyone for Christmas and there are Zhu Zhu pets and muppets and dancers and singers and it looks cold but they keep on going in a relentless beautifully choreographed marketing pitch for the toys of the season and the gifts of the season and then there was  the Oneida Indian Nation and then there was the  Native Pride Dancers and then there was and the Cherokee Youth Choir and there was no talk of revenge or anger but only of sales and dancing and singing whilst the simmering beneath the surface rage was kept there and acceptance was demanded even if on terms of the kyriarchy. Then he read some stuff about race theory and then he played a video game called Deponia which was entertaining but who had a male character who was an idiot but he was supposed to be lovable but in actual fact just kept the same tropes of unreconstructed buffoonish sexist deceitful maleness that seems to sell a budget Guybrush Threepwood he thinks to himself and then is sad that this is a reference that lots of people will get because he used to enjoy the fact that video games weren’t mainstream because he is a snob. Then he drinks some cider and then he watches a documentary about Jung and then he watches an interview with Jung and the he watches a Ted Talk given by a man who deconstructs the worst of Ted talks and his name is Sam Hyde and the performance is quite brilliant and subversive and will probably do no good at all because nothing ever does and then he tries to learn how to replace his laptop screen and he watches a video and then he feels qualified but it also terrifies him because he knows that the moment he starts he is going to destroy his computer and it is never going to work properly again but he does not have the money to fix it professionaly and as each day passes more and more lines appear on his monitor screen creeping down from the top like vines covering up the screen and one day he will have to guess what he is doing by the sound effects that emanate from the speakers until the speakers break too and then he will fix them but they will not be fixed so he will be typing and clicking at a computer that is to all intents and purposes fully functioning but will have no video or audio clues as to whether he is writing a classic novel, surfing for porn or hacking into the NSA. In all these scenarios the middle option is the most likely. Then he makes his Thanksgiving feast and it is very tasty and he eats food and he drinks wine and he listens to a talk given by Aldous Huxley which he enjoys and he listens to Glenn Greenwald Eviscerating some journalists and then he drinks some more wine and then he worries that the NSA have been following his porn habits for the last few years and hopes that he will not be shamed in public but then he remembers he is not an activist of any kind and not important in any way so they probably do not care about his porn habits so that relieves him so just to be sure he goes to check the porn he has been looking at in the past and it still all seems to be there so he is satisfied that the internet is still okay and then he reads some more and he eats some banoffie pie and has a coffee and he has some more wine and then he goes to sleep.

Horror Scope – Sagittarius 29th November


Today you will be the Thanksgiving leftovers for our Inter-dimensional Overlords.

Baste yourself.

 

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Horror Scope – Sagittarius 28th November


Thanksgiving.

Today you will be filled with helium and stretched tight your limbs attached to rope as you are dragged through the streets of New York.

As is traditional.

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