This is supposed to be a good thing.
Women of the world you have even more to beware of.
I apologize as one of many men in the world.
This is supposed to be a good thing.
Women of the world you have even more to beware of.
I apologize as one of many men in the world.
This is supposed to be a good thing.
Women of the world you have even more to beware of.
I apologize as one of many men in the world.
Key Findings:
Party Competition and Industrial Structure in the 2012 Elections | Next New Deal
Key Findings:
Party Competition and Industrial Structure in the 2012 Elections | Next New Deal
In our modern gadget-obsessed society, we are often more likely to wait to get a new product, rather than attempt to repair our current one when it is broken.
Restart is an international movement which aims to buck this trend. It educates people on how to do basic repairs to everyday objects, from digital cameras to kettles.
At “parties” around the world, experts gather to help people who bring along broken items.
They do the repairs themselves, while demonstrating what they are doing, to demystify the process.
LJ Rich went to a Restart party in Camden, London, to learn more.
This is wonderful. Restart Parties for all!
More details here: The Restart Project
In our modern gadget-obsessed society, we are often more likely to wait to get a new product, rather than attempt to repair our current one when it is broken.
Restart is an international movement which aims to buck this trend. It educates people on how to do basic repairs to everyday objects, from digital cameras to kettles.
At “parties” around the world, experts gather to help people who bring along broken items.
They do the repairs themselves, while demonstrating what they are doing, to demystify the process.
LJ Rich went to a Restart party in Camden, London, to learn more.
This is wonderful. Restart Parties for all!
More details here: The Restart Project
I have seen this commercial so many times that I think I may have become a little obsessed with it. I have nothing else to do but to share it with you and then you can draw your own conclusions from my commentary on the script, below:
Eager Young Surveyor: (slightly desperately) If we could supply fresh water, this really would be the perfect location for the new town.
Yes, but the likelihood of supplying freshwater to what appears to be a massive fucking desert looks, at best, a fools quest. If you’re planning to do this via iceberg rather than the more traditional means of irrigation or river redirection then we’re in a whole new Arena of Lunacy. Let’s see what else this commercial has to offer.
Sea Captain: (optimistically) If we harness the power of the ocean currents we can reduce fuel consumption.
This Sea Captain is drunk. Look at his rhuemy eyes. He has no idea what he is talking about. He may as well claim that a race of giant undersea mermaids could tow his ship into port before feeding him and his crew all the succulent sweat meats that imagination can conjure up. He is on his third bottle of whiskey of the morning.
Gentleman on dock: (with glazed dead eyes) If we make this cable twice as thick, it could tow up to 7 million tons.
This man has nothing to do with the commercial. He merely leaped in front of the camera and spoke admiringly of a fictionally larger piece of cable than the one the other man is holding. Why does he have to be critical of my thick cable, the taller out of focus man is thinking. I worked really hard on this cable. This cable that I made can tow 3.5 million tons. Is that not enough for you? Who are you anyway? Get this man off my set! Cut!
VO:
Using their 3DExperience platform, Dassault Systèmes led a team of glaciologists and engineers to prove Georges Mougin‘s dream of transporting icebergs, could become reality.
Okay, so George Mougin seems to be of questionable sanity.
VO:
It takes a special kind of compass to explore the world’s future possibilities.
It also takes a special kind of lunatic to get together a group of willing participants, harness an iceberg to a boat and then attempt to transport it TO THE DESERT – TRANSPORT AN ICEBERG TO THE DESERT. Also, what is so special about this compass? Is it a magic compass? Will it help you find Hogwarts or Neverneverland? No, it will make you delusional and set into motion an insane plan that will start with you trying to pull an iceberg into the desert by boat and end with you naked, wretched, raving in the desert with only your twisted memories of childhood and the half-eaten remains of your colleagues for company.
VO/Caption:
DASSAULT SYSTÈMES. If we ask the right questions we can change the world.
The right question in this case seems to be – an iceberg in the fucking desert? You have to be fucking kidding me? You’re not. Oh. Well sign me up then.
Here ends the Cautionary Tale of the Cursed Compass.
When I discovered that my snazzy new smart phone had a front and rear facing camera this happened in my head:
I am currently teetering on the edge of that last point.
Stupid technology filling my head full of terrible thoughts of exciting and interesting ideas for expressing myself.
Because they have nothing better to do at Microsoft these days they have designed The House of the Future:
The BBC went along to take a look. They were given a guided tour by the good people at Microsoft. I say good because I hope they are good because if they are not good then I think we’re screwed:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21632855
This House of the Future is a lazy persons wet dream:
The next stage will have the robot spoon feeding you a mashed up slurry because by now all you will need is fuel to keep you going so that you can go to work and get enough money to get the loan that pays for the credit card that allows you to pretend that you own all this shit. You will have forgotten how to speak. You will have to be wiped and cleaned by the robot house, like a helpless baby, before it guides you into the travel tube that takes you directly to the cubicle that you rot in for the duration of your working day.
Clearly none of these people have watched Demonseed:
Why does my Doom Sensor feel like it’s on the verge of exploding? I always thought the Future was going to be better, but living in it now, I’m not so sure.
Must get some fresh air. You can buy that in cans now can’t you?
Fuck.
There is not one adult who looks at this thing and doesn’t wish there was an adult sized one so that adults could sit and shit and piss and swipe Angry Birds, check stock options and browse porn.
Or is that just me?
Of course not, I have no stock options to check.
In years to come I imagine an exchange between Mother and Son:
– Go out and play!
– No I am shitting, Mother! I am shitting on the commode and I am checking my stock options on my iPad.
– Can you at least not do it in front of guests in the living room on your 21st birthday?
– You did this to me, Mother! You made me this way!
And so yet another child will blame a parent for their own willful behaviour and the cycle will continue. Is it not possible for a child to have but a brief respite from technology? Must they be driven to have contact with the touchscreen even in that most private anal moment? Will these companies not leave us be? Can we not be anti-social? Why is social good all the time? Why do we need to connect all the time?
SOMETIMES IT’S OKAY TO HAVE A FUCKING BREAK.
But first, one more post…
This new google glasses promo is full of beautiful people doing beautiful things. When these skillfully designed spectacles enter the marketplace to be grabbed by our grubby prole hands we will not be hang-gliding, ballet dancing or ice-sculpting.
We* will be:
– in our underwear.
– masturbating.
– being fired.
– getting lost.
– dropping them in the toilet.
– leaving them on the metro.
– being spurned by a lover.
– going to the toilet.
– dying.
It’s a brilliant idea although we should hold out for the day when google inject an implant into our frontal lobe and jolt us with addictive electricity every time we have a unique thought; that they get to own and market until the End of Time. Mmmmm sweet neural nectar.
*By “we” I mean “I”. I will be doing these things. All of these things. At the same time.
It is glorious to be living in the future.
This story makes it look like robots have taken over Scotland and the only people who are left are those who have to make sure that their Robot Overlords still function. I am sure that this is not the case, but a lot can happen in four months, so I can’t back up that statement 100%. Oh yes, click on the picture above or the word story at the beginning of this paragraph for the story. Also that story. And that one.