The Art of Failure – self-help for the morbidly inclined. Pt3


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Another Day.


 He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The…

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Another Day.


 He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The…

View On WordPress

Another Day.


 He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The price of road tax perhaps? Their car insurance policy must be exorbitant at this stage. There is a Paul Walker memorial. Will this film be a good film?  Good means so many things. He was loved. Actors are in tears. Are they acting. Is this a scene in the movie? It seems to be. He was not paying attention. He tries not to think about Paul Walker’s very young girlfriend but everything was legal so that’s okay the letter and the spirit of the law were followed. Paul Walker was loved. It is good to be loved. He walks to work. It is warm. The train is not busy. He eats empanadas. It is cold. He draws pictures. There is violence in Iraq but it is not our fault. There is violence in Yemen but it is not our fault. There is violence in Ukraine but it is not our fault. Nothing is our fault. Everything is someone else’s fault. That makes him feel better that he is not to blame for anything ever. He has a coffee. He draws a picture. He presses buttons. He wants to take a nap. He buys some flowers. He cuddles. He hears about a plane crash in the Alps. He hopes that there are survivors. He hopes that they do not have to eat each other. He eats. He remembers that it is time to sleep. He sleeps.

Another Day.


He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are…

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Another Day.


He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are…

View On WordPress

Another Day.


He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are not his real friends and colleagues. They are constructs of human behaviour created by writers and actors. He is a construct of behaviours and thoughts of an author. He is no more real than they are. He is no more real than the thoughts he is fed word by word by word. He wonders whether he should buy a wig. He decides not to buy a wig. He wants more Patton Oswald in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. His Manadarin learning is not going well. His Spanish learning is not going well. He takes pictures of strangers with his phone. He notices hairs growing out of his nose. Out of the top of his nose. Lines of hairs. Why are they there? Why are there so many hairs on his nose? How did they get there? What are they doing there? He slumps. Then he plucks. Then he moves on, bravely, with his life. He watches a space rocket firing. It is glued to the ground. Are NASA testing a rocket or trying to speed up the rotation of the Earth. He does not read the report so he decides to assume the latter. He is tired. He is cranky. He is tired. He tries to remember the difference between its and it’s. He goes to bed.

Another Day.


He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old.…

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Another Day.


He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old.…

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Another Day.


He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old. He wonders if he was every virile. He has a memory of being virile but he is not sure if he created that from parts of movies he watched and then pasted his face onto the body of someone else. He watches Hillary Clinton hang on in there. As the storm rages around her she clings to a large tree. She will be fine. She has been attacked with worse although having your own server, secret army and possible moonbase may be hard to justify to the American public. He can’t be bothered today. Watching William Shatner performing Rocket Man cheers him up. He chews on a plastic fork. Juliette Binoche is in a play. Antigone is the play. It is an old play. What is it about the ancient greeks that they knew things about ourselves that we still find that we are exploring? What is it about these slave owning temple building sailors that allowed them a special insight into how human beings tick? He does not know. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.


He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder…

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Another Day.


He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder…

View On WordPress

Another Day.


He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder to constantly fight against complacency and the idea that everything will be fixed and that white people feeling bad is often the major concern of cultural decisions that are made in America. He eats a breakfast biscuit. It is very tasty. It has egg a perfectly circular fried egg that was shaped on a griddle and some turkey bacon with peppered edge and mexican cheese which is actually a kind of cheese or rather a combination of cheeses. The cat poops but does not finish in its tray and scoots it across the floor drawing lines across the floor sketching some kind of cat art. Isis and Boko Haram join up they are friends. It seems a reasonable thing to do they appear to be acting rationally within the framework of their own reality and this is the most terrifying thing of all. A garage roof covered in young people collapses. They were celebrating St. Patricks Day. No one is dead. Several are injured. Some are embarassed. House of Cards is poorly lit and the drama is strangely played. Is it satire? Is it melodrama? Is it soap opera? Is it sitcom? It is strange. Yet still watchable. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is strange and sometimes funny and perhaps tasteless but also very clever and entertaining. Mad Men is tragic and stylish and humorous and progressive and conservative. He wonders how much plagiarism has been committed today. Probably a lot. He reads first person slave narratives. They are not upbeat yet still infused with the passion and eloquence of the freedom that the writers’ eventually won. Won a prize they shouldn’t have even had to compete for. He eats tasty food. He drinks some whiskey. He talks. He laughs. They laugh. He goes to sleep.

Another Day.


He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had…

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Another Day.


He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had…

View On WordPress

Another Day.


He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had to be concocted when there are plenty of real threats in the world. Perhaps it was just more fun for the military industrial complex to make up a new enemy that sounded like Hydra. Maybe there are fans of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Perhaps they all think they work for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. He drinks hot chocolate and he takes some photographs. He tries to care about work but he is tired so it is hard to care about work. He cuddles and that energizes him. He reads about the 100 years war. All he knows so far is that it wasn’t called the 100 years war at the time which is unsurprising because why would they call it that why would they think it would go on that long. He wonders when this century will be called the Century of Terrorism or The Neverending War or The Forever War but perhaps it is called that already. He weighs himself. He is not happy with the result but he is accepting of the result. His hair is thinning on his head. It is not thinning anywhere else. Hair is growing out of the edges of his ears. He did not think that was even possible. He is resigned to this. He is glad he is getting older. He could not have dealt with these things when he was younger. He was a sensitive youth. He is being  hardened by age. Not too much but enough to survive. He thinks that this is a good thing. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears…

View On WordPress

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears are the same. Shame is the same. Pride is the same. The Games is the same. Zoos are the same. Beards are the same. Fonts are the same. Wealth is the same. Poverty is the same. Difference is the same. Consent is the same. Logic is the same. Ethics are the same. The Year is the same. Marxism is the same. Revolution is the same. Evolution is the same. Cowboys riding dinosaurs are the same. Carl Sagan is the same. Neil Degrasse Tyson is the same. Grief is the same. Pain is the same. Joy is the same. Terror is the same. Happiness is the same. Sadness is the same. The Beginning is the same. The End is the same. Same is the same. He goes to sleep.

2014 in review


There you go.

It has been a year.

Once again posts that I thought very little of were the most popular, but then what do I know?

Nothing, clearly.

Let us join digital hands and look forward to 2015 with as much gusto as we grasped 2014.

If we make it that far.

Happy Times!

All the best for 2015 to you all!

Wake The Leviathan, unfurl the banners and Let the Revolution begin.

The WordPress.com…

View On WordPress

2014 in review


There you go.

It has been a year.

Once again posts that I thought very little of were the most popular, but then what do I know?

Nothing, clearly.

Let us join digital hands and look forward to 2015 with as much gusto as we grasped 2014.

If we make it that far.

Happy Times!

All the best for 2015 to you all!

Wake The Leviathan, unfurl the banners and Let the Revolution begin.

The WordPress.com…

View On WordPress

2014 in review


There you go.

It has been a year.

Once again posts that I thought very little of were the most popular, but then what do I know?

Nothing, clearly.

Let us join digital hands and look forward to 2015 with as much gusto as we grasped 2014.

If we make it that far.

Happy Times!

All the best for 2015 to you all!

Wake The Leviathan, unfurl the banners and Let the Revolution begin.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes…

View On WordPress

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes have deemed to be okay whistle blowing has deemed to be a crime protesting violence has deemed to be a crime being a person of color means living in another world being white means feeling mildly guilty but not doing anything about the disparity the two worlds the split reality because it benefits white people white men good white christian men with their suits and their ties and their cufflinks and their swollen bond accounts. War and Revolution and Slavery and Spying and Torture and Baconnaise and Wealth Gaps and photoshopped reality and the endless sleep of failure. Then the books are burnt and the e-readers are melted and the streaming of information is stemmed and the door to the room you are trapped in is cemented shut. Censorship wins and the guards have no one to guard them so they do what they want when they want to whom they want. In the darkest corner of the deepest hole a small light glimmers. It is a flame. A small weak flame. It is being fed slowly fed steadily it grows and it grows ever so slowly waiting for 2015. Then he eats an apple. Then he eats some cashews. Then he looks out of the window. Then he looks at the trees. Then he goes to sleep.

Defeat The Silence – An Obscene Music Review.


old sock

Eric Clapton – Old Sock

I once masturbated into an old sock.

This is what Eric Clapton is doing to music with this new album.

Just imagine his guitar is my penis and the sock is the cover version of the song he is performing.

Enjoy!

Old Sock.