He wakes up. He is not alone. He goes back to sleep. The roads are slush and ice. They are walking along the road together at the side of the road together one in front of the other looking for a house a village a crossroads. There are cars speeding past but they do not hit but they nearly hit. He gets out of sleep. He gets out of bed. He walks to the bathroom his morning erection bouncing…
Tag: non-fiction
Another Day.
He wakes up. He is not alone. He goes back to sleep. The roads are slush and ice. They are walking along the road together at the side of the road together one in front of the other looking for a house a village a crossroads. There are cars speeding past but they do not hit but they nearly hit. He gets out of sleep. He gets out of bed. He walks to the bathroom his morning erection bouncing…
Another Day.
He wakes up. He is not alone. He goes back to sleep. The roads are slush and ice. They are walking along the road together at the side of the road together one in front of the other looking for a house a village a crossroads. There are cars speeding past but they do not hit but they nearly hit. He gets out of sleep. He gets out of bed. He walks to the bathroom his morning erection bouncing unabashed in the dark. He turns on the light. He pushes his etection down and bends his torso forward and somehow he manages to hit the bowl it does not hurt too much a familiar ache. He washes his hands he turns off the light the sun is coming up through the blinds he turns on another light and then he turns on the kitchen light and then he turns on the keurig machine. He feels guilty about the keurig machine but he uses his refillable coffee cup for the keurig machine and feels a little less guilty. He puts a paper filter a tiny paper filter into the refillable keurig cup and it almost but not quite fits and then he takes the coffee from the cupboard and opens the coffee and uses the special spoon to scoop the coffee into the filter in the refillable k-cup and he makes sure to open the trash can and do all of this over the trash can so that if it spills and it will spill because he is messy it will spill into the trash can and this happens and then he puts the special coffee scoop back in the coffee bag and closes the refillable k-cup but it will not close because extra granules of coffee are caught under the hinge of the lid and he presses hard hoping not to have to wipe them away but preferring that they be crushed with his mighty strength. He does not crush them with his mighty strength. Instead he positions the refillable k-cup in the kuerig machine and with one swift movement brings down the handle so that the machine itself holds the k-cup top in place. This seems to work well. He presses the button to make hot water pass through the coffee. This does not work. There is not enough water in the keurig machine water reservoir. He walks to the fridge. He opens the fridge door. He finds the jug of filtered water. It is in the fridge door where it always is. He picks up the Britta jug of Britta filtered water. He closes the fridge door. He turns and walks back to the keurig machine. He removes the top from the reservoir. He pours the Britta filtered water into the keurig water reservoir. A light goes on. Noises emanate. Coffee is made. Triumphant success. He refills the Britta filter water jug with water from the tap and then he returns the jug to the shelf on the door in the fridge. He takes a break after this high drama. He puts some vanilla almond creamer into the coffee. It sinks to the bottom like always because it is not cream but vanilla flavored mashed almond. It tastes good though. He sips a little. He lets the cat sit on his stomach. He lets the cat scratch his neck. He is not letting the cat do anything. The cat is doing what it likes. He turns on his computer. The one that is not connected to the internet. The one that he is writing his great American novel on. He got the idea from George R. R. Martin. No distractions for this Great American Novel. The Greatest American Novel ever. The computer is old and loud. The screen is black and the writing is green. he writes for half an hour. He sits for most of that staring at the screen. He types the letters and then deletes the letters he has typed. He waits for his alarm to ring. Finally it rings. With relief he stops. Then he gets up. He drinks some more coffee. He takes all of his clothes off and turns on the Wii. He Brings out the wii fit board. He turns on the wii. It doesn’t work. He turns it off. He turns it on. It does work. He weighs himself. He is not lithe. He grunts. He is not enormous. It will do for now. He will poo later and that will hopefully remove a couple of pounds. That will make him feel better. He puts his clothes back on. He prepares a honey and cinnamon hot drink. He gets the honey and the cinnamon from the cupboard. He gets the filters from the cupboard. He gets the filter holder. He puts the filter holder on the cup. He heats the water and pours the water onto the dry cinnamon that he has already put in the filter paper. He lets it sit and turns his attention to the food. He gets the eggs out of the fridge. He gets the chorizo sausage out of the fridge. It is the last chorizo sausage in the fridge but not the last chorizo sausage in the world. He places the fried egg holders on the griddle pan. He sprays them with oil. He turns on the gas. He cuts the chorizo sausage and the puts them on the griddle and they sizzle and they smoke. He breaks the eggs and then pours them in to each of the fried egg holders. There are two fried egg holders. He turns on the oven. He puts two cooked biscuits in the oven so that they will eat up in time. He prepares the breakfast for the cat. He pretends he is not preparing it because it is important that the cat does not think that it is making him get breakfast even though the cat is actually making him get breakfast. He goes to the small bathroom and the cat follows. He knows that this is a charade but it willing to play along with the foolish human shaped cat who cannot hunt. Then he returns to the kitchen with the cat and fills up the eating toy with dried pellets and the cat easily gets them out after the sitting and the silence comes the eating and the pawing. The eggs bubble. The sausage spits. The biscuits heat. Then the are all ready. He turns the sausage one more time and tamps the excess oil off them and brings the biscuits out and opens the biscuits and puts the eggs one in each biscuits and splits the sausage between each biscuits and puts parmesan cheese in one of the sandwiches but not the other and then checks on the honey cinnamon and the cinnamon water is ready and he adds honey and mixes it and then she has arrived from her shower and she is radiant and they eat breakfast together and watch the television. Then he showers and then he dresses and then he brushes his teeth and then he gets his lunch from the fridge which will be potato and chicken and cabbage and also fruit and yogurt and then he reads about the 100 years war. Then he puts his shoes on and prepares treats for the cat and there is talking and laughing and anger that the power is about to be turned off in the building and then the power is turned off in the building and there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth like in the bible even though this tragedy isn’t biblical in nature. Then he puts on his coat and gets her coat and scarf and shoes are put on and cat toys are placed and bags are packed and carried and doors are opened and closed and goodbyes are said to the cat and the door is locked. Then he walks and she walks to the elevator and it doesn’t work but the other one works and they walk to the other one along the long long empty corridor and the elevator arrives and they get into it and on another floor another woman gets into it and they smile at the man at the front desk who smiles at her far more than he smiles at him and they walk hand in hand to the station and the air is fresh and they say goodbye and he walks and walks down the stairs and takes photographs of strangers and he sits on the train and he reads and listens to the radio and he gets off the train and he goes up the stairs and he takes pictures of strangers and he gets to work and he draws lots of pictures and he drinks lots of coffee and he eats some crackers and he draws some more and he talks to colleagues and to friends and he listens to the news about the plane that has crashed and as the day progresses the tragedy increases and there are pictures of wreckage and there are pictures of distraught relatives and no news comes in so the speculation begins and there is not enough information to fill the time that exists and the time that exists is infinite yet constricted and pictures come in of pieces of plane and a black box is found but remember that it is orange all the experts say and then he takes his lunch out of the work fridge where he had put it earlier. He gets out the potato and the cabbage and the chicken and he heats it up in the microwave and he talks to colleagues about tragedy and he listens to colleagues as they talk about their frequent flyer experiences and they are lucky not to be dead and they are lucky that their planes have not crashed and then he finishes heating his lunch and he takes his lunch to his room and he eats his lunch and he drinks some water and he goes to the bathroom because he is drinking a lot of water and then his eye starts hurting and he rubs it more and it hurts more and then a friend gives him a wipe because he sees him suffering and he goes to the bathroom and he cleans his hands and he cleans his face and he uses the wipe and slowly his eye starts to feel better and he returns to his lunch and he eats his lunch and he finishes his lunch and he talks to colleagues and the President of Afghanistan is in America and he is visiting the President of America and it is the anniversary of Iwo Jima and he listens to stories of massacre and tragedy and tunnels filled with gasoline that is set alight and flame thrower operators who explode and combust and the horror and all the heroes are dead there are no living heroes heroes is a meaningless word and the old hang on and visit the island and regret their visit because they churn up their memories and churn up their hearts and travel through time and parts of them long thought dead come to life and those sparks of life that remain slowly die. Then he walks home and then he takes photographs and then he waits for a train and it is full so he waits for another train and there is space to stand and he takes a photoraph of sneakers and he gets off the train and he walks to his house and there is still no power and there is a gaggle of children trapped by the elevator and he doesn’t want to get trapped with them so he walks up the stairs all 20 flights of stairs and he regrets that he has taken the stairs these 25 flights of stairs but he keeps walking up the stairs this 50 flights of stairs but eventually he makes it and just as he does the power comes back on and he hears cheers from strangers apartment and he breathes deeply and heavily as he staggers along the corridor and he opens the door and there are hugs and love and wine and coffee and Fresh of the Boat and a Cadbury’s cream egg and he reveals that he ate four of them at the weekend because she was away and he was comfort eating and he tried not to but one he ate and then two he ate and then three he ate and then four he ate and only five minutes had passed but he had not put all of them in his mouth at the same time so he was okay he was not objectionable he is an adult who pays taxes and has a job that an adult can do and he has a driving license and pays utility bills and can cook various meals that taste good. Then he eats some pasta and pesto and vegetables and he writes and he wrestles and he runs with the cat and the cat is impressed and the cat is then fed and honey and cinnamon are made and the filters are brought out and the cinnamon is put in the filter and the water is put through the filter and then the cinnamon water is ready and then he adds the honey and then all of this happens again and two drinks are ready and he has crack pie from Milk in New York but he does not succumb to the glorious crack pie even though he wants to eat it and then he gets ready for bed and puts his pyjamas on and then he brushes his teeth and then he turns off the keurig machine which he still in the back of his mind feels terribly guilty about and then he cleans the cat food tray and then he turns off the kitchen light and the living room light and he turns off all the heaters and brushes his teeth again and then they lie down in bed and they read and laugh and look at each other and then they turn on a meditation tape and then probably at some point when the lights are off and the music is playing and the soft voice of the invisible woman brushes their hair they fall asleep.
Another Day.
He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The…
Another Day.
He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The…
Another Day.
He Wakes up. The Glowing mouth doesn’t work. This makes him sad but it is a child’s toy he bought at a store for himself and he is 38 so he probably shouldn’t care so much. He eats cereal. He writes. He feeds cat. Heeds self. Something is missing. She is missing. He watches Matt Lauer. He watches him closely. Is he human. Not sure. There is Furious 7 promotion. What are they all angry about? The price of road tax perhaps? Their car insurance policy must be exorbitant at this stage. There is a Paul Walker memorial. Will this film be a good film? Good means so many things. He was loved. Actors are in tears. Are they acting. Is this a scene in the movie? It seems to be. He was not paying attention. He tries not to think about Paul Walker’s very young girlfriend but everything was legal so that’s okay the letter and the spirit of the law were followed. Paul Walker was loved. It is good to be loved. He walks to work. It is warm. The train is not busy. He eats empanadas. It is cold. He draws pictures. There is violence in Iraq but it is not our fault. There is violence in Yemen but it is not our fault. There is violence in Ukraine but it is not our fault. Nothing is our fault. Everything is someone else’s fault. That makes him feel better that he is not to blame for anything ever. He has a coffee. He draws a picture. He presses buttons. He wants to take a nap. He buys some flowers. He cuddles. He hears about a plane crash in the Alps. He hopes that there are survivors. He hopes that they do not have to eat each other. He eats. He remembers that it is time to sleep. He sleeps.
Another Day.
He wakes up. He fell asleep to the sound of a woman telling him that he was flying up into space as whale song danced in his ears. He is refreshed but confused. He cannot remember if he dreamed it. He cannot remember if he is happy that a meditation tape is helping him to sleep. Did it help him sleep or did he just go to sleep anyway. He does not know. He eats a biscuit with an egg and chorizo…
Another Day.
He wakes up. He fell asleep to the sound of a woman telling him that he was flying up into space as whale song danced in his ears. He is refreshed but confused. He cannot remember if he dreamed it. He cannot remember if he is happy that a meditation tape is helping him to sleep. Did it help him sleep or did he just go to sleep anyway. He does not know. He eats a biscuit with an egg and chorizo…
Another Day.
He wakes up. He fell asleep to the sound of a woman telling him that he was flying up into space as whale song danced in his ears. He is refreshed but confused. He cannot remember if he dreamed it. He cannot remember if he is happy that a meditation tape is helping him to sleep. Did it help him sleep or did he just go to sleep anyway. He does not know. He eats a biscuit with an egg and chorizo sausage and he reads the news and the news is not happy it is sad and full of fear and anger. He reads a book about the 100 years war and it is full of human error and misunderstandings. He watches some movies all of which deal with flawed humanity. Humanity. Floored Humanity. Flouride Humility. Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth. If they fall out you will die. The tooth fairy will make a castle out of them and become the Tooth Queen.He draws some things. He takes some photographs. He lies down and falls asleep and then wakes up. It is still sunlight out. Ted Cruz is getting ready to announce his candidacy for President. The internet is preparing it’s jokes. He eats sushi. He writes more of his great American Novel. He goes to sleep.
Another Day.
He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are…
Another Day.
He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are…
Another Day.
He wakes up. That cat is on his chest. It is comforting. It is like a metaphor. Then it starts gently scratching his face. This is also like a metaphor. He gets up. He makes breakfast. He drinks coffee. He checks the weather with a wet thumb. He watched too much Parks and Recreation. He knows this because he thinks that all the characters in the show are his real friends and colleagues. They are not his real friends and colleagues. They are constructs of human behaviour created by writers and actors. He is a construct of behaviours and thoughts of an author. He is no more real than they are. He is no more real than the thoughts he is fed word by word by word. He wonders whether he should buy a wig. He decides not to buy a wig. He wants more Patton Oswald in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. His Manadarin learning is not going well. His Spanish learning is not going well. He takes pictures of strangers with his phone. He notices hairs growing out of his nose. Out of the top of his nose. Lines of hairs. Why are they there? Why are there so many hairs on his nose? How did they get there? What are they doing there? He slumps. Then he plucks. Then he moves on, bravely, with his life. He watches a space rocket firing. It is glued to the ground. Are NASA testing a rocket or trying to speed up the rotation of the Earth. He does not read the report so he decides to assume the latter. He is tired. He is cranky. He is tired. He tries to remember the difference between its and it’s. He goes to bed.
Another Day.
He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old.…
Another Day.
He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old.…
Another Day.
He wakes up. Damn you clock change. Damn your hour theft. French athletes die in a helicopter crash. The American Ambassador to South Korea is freed from hospital. His scarred face healing. Milk in New Zealand is being poisoned. There is a man with a beard on the train. Everyone looks tired. He is running on the spot. He is sweating. He is tired. His knee hurts. He is balding. He is getting old. He wonders if he was every virile. He has a memory of being virile but he is not sure if he created that from parts of movies he watched and then pasted his face onto the body of someone else. He watches Hillary Clinton hang on in there. As the storm rages around her she clings to a large tree. She will be fine. She has been attacked with worse although having your own server, secret army and possible moonbase may be hard to justify to the American public. He can’t be bothered today. Watching William Shatner performing Rocket Man cheers him up. He chews on a plastic fork. Juliette Binoche is in a play. Antigone is the play. It is an old play. What is it about the ancient greeks that they knew things about ourselves that we still find that we are exploring? What is it about these slave owning temple building sailors that allowed them a special insight into how human beings tick? He does not know. He goes to sleep.
Another Day.
He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder…
Another Day.
He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder…
Another Day.
He wakes up. Somewhere in the night an hour disappeared. It will be held, lying in state, until the end of the year until, without explanation, it will be returned. He is exhausted and his eyes ache. He watches the celebrations in Selma and wonders whether they will change the name of the Edmund Pettus Bridge or if it should be kept as a reminder of how close we all are to the KKK as a reminder to constantly fight against complacency and the idea that everything will be fixed and that white people feeling bad is often the major concern of cultural decisions that are made in America. He eats a breakfast biscuit. It is very tasty. It has egg a perfectly circular fried egg that was shaped on a griddle and some turkey bacon with peppered edge and mexican cheese which is actually a kind of cheese or rather a combination of cheeses. The cat poops but does not finish in its tray and scoots it across the floor drawing lines across the floor sketching some kind of cat art. Isis and Boko Haram join up they are friends. It seems a reasonable thing to do they appear to be acting rationally within the framework of their own reality and this is the most terrifying thing of all. A garage roof covered in young people collapses. They were celebrating St. Patricks Day. No one is dead. Several are injured. Some are embarassed. House of Cards is poorly lit and the drama is strangely played. Is it satire? Is it melodrama? Is it soap opera? Is it sitcom? It is strange. Yet still watchable. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is strange and sometimes funny and perhaps tasteless but also very clever and entertaining. Mad Men is tragic and stylish and humorous and progressive and conservative. He wonders how much plagiarism has been committed today. Probably a lot. He reads first person slave narratives. They are not upbeat yet still infused with the passion and eloquence of the freedom that the writers’ eventually won. Won a prize they shouldn’t have even had to compete for. He eats tasty food. He drinks some whiskey. He talks. He laughs. They laugh. He goes to sleep.
Another Day.
He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had…
Another Day.
He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had…
Another Day.
He wakes up. The plane is still missing. The cat is still scratching the couch. The trees are still covered in ice. There is not enough food in the fridge but there is some food in the fridge. He draws some pictures. He reads about mens’ rights and he laughs. He wonders what happened to the Khorosan Group and concludes that they must have been a concocted fiction and he wonders why a fiction had to be concocted when there are plenty of real threats in the world. Perhaps it was just more fun for the military industrial complex to make up a new enemy that sounded like Hydra. Maybe there are fans of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Perhaps they all think they work for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. He drinks hot chocolate and he takes some photographs. He tries to care about work but he is tired so it is hard to care about work. He cuddles and that energizes him. He reads about the 100 years war. All he knows so far is that it wasn’t called the 100 years war at the time which is unsurprising because why would they call it that why would they think it would go on that long. He wonders when this century will be called the Century of Terrorism or The Neverending War or The Forever War but perhaps it is called that already. He weighs himself. He is not happy with the result but he is accepting of the result. His hair is thinning on his head. It is not thinning anywhere else. Hair is growing out of the edges of his ears. He did not think that was even possible. He is resigned to this. He is glad he is getting older. He could not have dealt with these things when he was younger. He was a sensitive youth. He is being hardened by age. Not too much but enough to survive. He thinks that this is a good thing. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the television. He records CitizenFour. He does not watch it. Will he be put on a list if he watches it? He is probably on that list already. He watches Mad Men. He watches House of Cards. He watches Knights of Sidonia. He reads about the 100 years War. He reads about the creation of the Modern World. He reads about the difficulty in translating a work of literature into another language. He exhausts himself playing Wii fit. They bake some cookies that are tasty. He goes to sleep.
Another Day.
He wakes up. What happened? He can’t remember. There is a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling. There are shadows everywhere. He has a sheet and there is a coffee stain on the wall or is it something else it looks like a coffee stain he doesn’t want to look to closely. He turns over and thinks about trying harder tomorrow. He goes to sleep.
Another Day.
He wakes up. What happened? He can’t remember. There is a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling. There are shadows everywhere. He has a sheet and there is a coffee stain on the wall or is it something else it looks like a coffee stain he doesn’t want to look to closely. He turns over and thinks about trying harder tomorrow. He goes to sleep.
Another Day.
He wakes up. What happened? He can’t remember. There is a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling. There are shadows everywhere. He has a sheet and there is a coffee stain on the wall or is it something else it looks like a coffee stain he doesn’t want to look to closely. He turns over and thinks about trying harder tomorrow. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is 2015. Work is the same. War is the same. Love is the same. Capitalism is the same. Politics and it’s practitioners are the same. Toast is made in the same way. The television works in the same way – by magic. As does all modern technology – wonderful complicated magic. Failure is the same. Success is the same. Hope is the same. Despair is the same. Laughter is the same. Tears are the same. Shame is the same. Pride is the same. The Games is the same. Zoos are the same. Beards are the same. Fonts are the same. Wealth is the same. Poverty is the same. Difference is the same. Consent is the same. Logic is the same. Ethics are the same. The Year is the same. Marxism is the same. Revolution is the same. Evolution is the same. Cowboys riding dinosaurs are the same. Carl Sagan is the same. Neil Degrasse Tyson is the same. Grief is the same. Pain is the same. Joy is the same. Terror is the same. Happiness is the same. Sadness is the same. The Beginning is the same. The End is the same. Same is the same. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams. He goes to the bathroom and falls over a cat. Then the cat disappears. There was no cat. It is dark. It is near the end. It is near the beginning. Gangs war with each other. Treasure Hunters are searching in all the wrong places. He runs on a running machine. He runs and runs and runs and then he runs some more. Torture has been deemed to be okay drone strikes have deemed to be okay whistle blowing has deemed to be a crime protesting violence has deemed to be a crime being a person of color means living in another world being white means feeling mildly guilty but not doing anything about the disparity the two worlds the split reality because it benefits white people white men good white christian men with their suits and their ties and their cufflinks and their swollen bond accounts. War and Revolution and Slavery and Spying and Torture and Baconnaise and Wealth Gaps and photoshopped reality and the endless sleep of failure. Then the books are burnt and the e-readers are melted and the streaming of information is stemmed and the door to the room you are trapped in is cemented shut. Censorship wins and the guards have no one to guard them so they do what they want when they want to whom they want. In the darkest corner of the deepest hole a small light glimmers. It is a flame. A small weak flame. It is being fed slowly fed steadily it grows and it grows ever so slowly waiting for 2015. Then he eats an apple. Then he eats some cashews. Then he looks out of the window. Then he looks at the trees. Then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all the more. Dr. Dre is doing very well for himself. He is very rich. Even though Apple took his company bought it and then crushed it. Such is capitalism. Expansion and destruction. There is more bombing. There is more war that isn’t called war. Everyone knows that it’s war but no one calls it war because the leaders have decided not to call it war. It is amusing and it is sad. There is talk of politics and ESPN and the NFL and power and wealth. There is a toad on the rain wet driveway. The toad is not moving. It may be crushed by a car later in the day. The rain bounces of it’s back. He drinks a coffee. He thinks about Love and Sadness and the Penumbra of Death that halos every living thing. There is waiting. There are many maps spread out over the large tables. Neat lines drawn hid the chaos. The orderly geometry hides the chaos. Except the chaos is not hidden. It struts round in plain sight daring anyone who cares to stare it direct in it’s blackhole eyes. It has many eyes. The NFL is losing the optical war but it doesn’t care because it makes a lot of money. There are loans to be paid. There are debts to be paid. He reads writing advice from David Mitchell. It includes the advice that writing is a good thing to do if one wants to be a writer. This is good advice. He tries to take it. He is told to take things for granted. That the is oil. That there is no oil. That there are genetic manipulation booths. That asexual human reproduction is normal or it will be or it was that the comedian is the vampire owl of the art world. There are bowed heads. It is morning but already people are weighed down by the day. There are turncoats hidden everywhere. The French won The War of Independence. David Hasslehoff brought down the Berlin Wall and ended the cold war. Pharrell Williams bring Iran into the fold of Western Hegemony. King Pharrell. Pope Pharrell. Emporer Pharrell. A silver fox is caught for funneling school children into a prison system that he made with a friend. He is sent to a prison but the system remains the system is vibrant and alive he was a necessary sacrifice a bad actor a bad apple a one in a million nothing to see here move along no problem with the old white haired men the criminals who legalize their crimes the villians who make the rules for themselves and the rules for everyone else. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent. He gets on the bus but his pass doesn’t work. The driver is kind and lets him sit. He eats meat. He eats fruit. He drinks five coffees. He watches Obama talk at the UN. The Primeminister of Britain says that the Queen purred down the phone to him. Is the new Queen of England Eartha Kitt? He hopes that the new Queen of England is Earth Kitt. Everything is wonderful and everything is hopeless. There is no script. There is no prompt. There is in a dark cave somewhere hope barely alive but struggling towards the light. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The stars of sport jackhammer their fists into the faces of their lovers. A woman commits suicide by climbing into a crocodile pit. She takes off her shoes first. She loved her shoes and did not want them to be ruined by the prehistoric beasts. Who will get to keep the shoes afterwards. Will her relatives keep them in a box, uncleaned, perhaps a grass scuff on one corner from where she slipped them off on the wet ground. He reads about the Criminals of Wall Street and their desperate and ultimately successful attempts to save their kingdoms but not without first sacrificing some of their own. These perfidious knights see themselves as heroes even as the world is sickened by their villainy. He eats fried rice. He drinks coffee. He watches a talk that took place the day before the large climate change walk in New York. The speakers are Chris Hedges, Naomi Klein, Bill McKibben, Brian Lehrer, Kshama Sawant and Bernie Sanders. As Senator Bernard speaks protesters put up a cloth decrying Saunders voting for the bombing of Gaza. There is awkward murmuring. The audience is mostly white. He is happy when a bearded man stands up at the end and says he is sad that there are not more brothers and sisters of colour. The leader of the movement Bill Mckibben does not acknowledge this but deflects it as he tells the questioner to look outside tomorrow and to look at those at the frontline of the climate debate but he does not engage with the truth of the questioner at that particular moment. America and secret allies start bombing Syria around 830 eastern time. This is half an hour in to The Voice. Someone is singing their heart out as enormous missiles smash into buildings as incredibly powerful ordnance cremates numberless human beings. The new acts are pretty good. Everyone trusts that no civilians are targeted. He feels sick. There is no criticism, no questioning. The Forever War. The Endless War. The Neverending War. Whatever it is called it is a hydra. Each war begetting a new war. Each murder creating two new murderers. And on and on and on. He watches Elementary. He eats food. He enjoys The Blacklist. It is utterly ridiculous. He snuggles. Obama is the War President. That Nobel Prize for peace must be in the attic of the White House slowly decaying into a puddle of shame. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom. The Illusion of Choice. Scotland has said no cowed by the overbearing power elite cowed by fear cowed by cows cow lowing in the fields eating grass and producing tasty milk and burgers. He tries to plan. He succeeds. He fails. He makes a coffee. He eats some breakfast. The pancakes for breakfast are tasty pancakes. He ponders the future. He reads Pliny the Elder. He reads Too Big To Fail. All the criminals are here. They are all described in detail. Their actions and justifications are clear to see on the page. Bernie Madoff is their scapegoat. There are bigger problems. There is a climate march in New York City. Lots of people attend. Just like the March against the War in Iraq just like the March against the War in Iraq. Just like the March against the War in Vietnam. What do marches do except give the authorities the opportunity to observe the trouble makers and the peaceniks. To collate and photograph and store the information of the rebels, the subversives, the Anti-Americans ready to come to your door to take away your freedom and your toaster stroodles and your playstation 4 and your Xbox 1 and your America’s Got Talent Voting rights. He fills boxes with books. He tries on his dainty new cock ring. It smarts. He has made a terrible mistake. Then he gets used to it. He likens it to the cilice from The DaVinci Code but not as unpleasant. There are many unpleasant things in the world. Human beings are sad hopeful creatures. He is one of them. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Blah, blah, fucking blah. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere else a deer looks off into the distance as it hears a noise. John Kerry is talking to Congress again. The ladies in Pink are standing behind him again. There are signs. Bored looking members of Congress ask questions. They all look like they want to be playing golf with fundraisers at their high walled golf clubs. He watches a trailer for Fury. He wonders at the constant refrain of the brave little Americans fighting the gargantuan enemy when the truth is that America is gargantuan and the enemy of America is always little. There is no terror in that or profit in that or shame in that. There is shame in that. Shame is everywhere. He reads Waiting for Godot. GODot. godOT. A magician wins America’s Got Talent. Will he magic away the financial crises, the military crises, the crisis crises? He will not but he does seem to be good with his hands and he has a sincere to the point of mania Tom Cruise smile. He draws, he plots, he schemes. He sleeps.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview with Eddy Conway ex of the Black Panthers. He watches a course on learning well. He procrastinates. He learns nothing from the course. He eats half a burger. He trims his prodigious beard. He cannot understand America without understanding race. He cannot understand the world without understanding race. He dreams about people who do not have eyes but have paintbrush bristles where there eyes should be an no other features but that their faces smooth polished variegated wood their bodies entirely ordinary just their faces wooden and flat and their eyes tight paintbrush bristles they seem entirely okay with this state of affairs. There is no war just dropping bombs there is no war just talk of boots on the ground there is no conflict or war just targeted killings and advisors and regurgitated humanity spoiling in a heap. There is no war but there will be boots on the ground but there won’t be boots on the ground this is not a war this is not a war this is not a war. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside. It is coming down from the sky. There are clouds full of rain. There are clouds full of tears. Never trust a clown. He eats a tasty burger. He creates a fictional home in a digital town by the sea and spends too much time making the living room look just perfect when he doesn’t own a house in real life. He eats some lemon crunch pie. His digital avatar eats some lemon crunch pie. There is something terrible and sad about this. He forgets what happened during the rest of the day. His mind is a creamy white amnesiac cloud. He goes to sleep hoping that he will remember what he has forgotten and forget what he keeps remembering.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and again that there are no credible threats and when the CIA say there are no credible threats there are probably no credible threats because the CIA love having credible threats to get their black ops money for and are always willing to talk about threats so even if they don’t think that they are a threat then are they a threat. He does not know. Then he gets angry because Cecily Strong is being kicked off Weekend Update because no one wants to kick the White coiffed head writer off Weekend Update because the white man always wins even though her replacement is the excellent Michael Che but why not have Michael Che and Cecily Strong is it because Lorne Michaels thinks that America is not ready for a black man and a white woman to appear together on live television doing comedy together week in and week out is america still terrified of a black man and a white woman making comedy together is this where we are have we not moved on he thinks to himself. Then he plans his lunch. Then he goes to the gym. Then he showers. Then he wonders if Ted Cruz’s strange argument that Lorne Michaels could be in prison for satire if a law limiting Citizens United comes into affect is a real argument or if Senator Ted Cruz is actually an apolitical performance artist who managed to get elected with grant money from a billionaires art foundation. It is a hot muggy night. He sits in Wholefoods and joins the other hairy homeless men in the pot plants and the dirty tables. He holds hands. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all those who had passes to get on the bus first so that they could get seats like him so he could get a seat he finally gets a seat. He keeps his anger inside. He buys some granola bars. He buys a sandwich. He does not by a Jimmy Dean Breakfast Biscuit. He marks this as a rare triumph in a day which will not have many victories. He gets sucked back into Facebook. He drinks too much coffee. He eats a sandwich. He buys some smoothies and puts them in the fridge. He eats lentils which taste like glorious meat and roasted cauliflower which tastes like magic. Stephen Colbert will gurn around with Henry Kissinger tonight and his heart will die a little and he will lose a little more respect for Stephen Colbert. It is the day of the towers falling it is the day of a country backed turned over to a dictator who manipulated and destroyed his people with the Chicago Boys and Kissinger looming and death squads and disappearances and the chimneys spewing people and death and sadness and the clouds formed and burrowed and the igition of the 21st century the pilot light that sparked the fire the engulfed the world that killed an Empire that doesn’t know it’s dead yet as a far older and larger beast slowly turns and wakes and watches. Then he tumbles down a hill tumbling tumbling tumbling and Oscar Pistorius is not guilty of murder but who knows what will happen tomorrow and there is 911 and 911 and 911 and each 911 has a different meaning and significance but they are all important and Jaws is dead and he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up from not sleeping. He switches on al jazeera. He reads debt by David graeber. He reads more Proust. He reads the Federalist papers. He reads the anti federalist papers. He reads the fiery brook. He finishes a chapter of his novel. Thisis surprising. He eats soup. He drinks coffee. He watches tutorial videos for AutoCAD 3d studio. He has a shower. There is no milk for cereal. He is the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up from not sleeping. He switches on al jazeera. He reads debt by David graeber. He reads more Proust. He reads the Federalist papers. He reads the anti federalist papers. He reads the fiery brook. He finishes a chapter of his novel. Thisis surprising. He eats soup. He drinks coffee. He watches tutorial videos for AutoCAD 3d studio. He has a shower. There is no milk for cereal. He is the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up from not sleeping. He switches on al jazeera. He reads debt by David graeber. He reads more Proust. He reads the Federalist papers. He reads the anti federalist papers. He reads the fiery brook. He finishes a chapter of his novel. Thisis surprising. He eats soup. He drinks coffee. He watches tutorial videos for AutoCAD 3d studio. He has a shower. There is no milk for cereal. He is the only person, except for the driver, on the bus. He wonders if he can put a campaign on kickstarter for him to jump a shark. Perhaps funding the potato salad is the internet funding equivalent of jumping the shark so his point has already been made. Zach Braff gets more space than Nadine Gordimer in the newspaper that he finds on the bus. He finds this ridiculous but then he acknowledges that he is more familiar with the work of Zach Braff than the work of Nadine Gordimer. The Germans celebrate their world cup win. David hasslehof is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they are saving him for the big finale. They are not saving him for the big finale. The German team appears to start the YMCA dance then it devolves into something less choreographed but no less sincere. Someone talks about an awning idea kit on the television. How many ideas can there be in an awning idea kit. Use as awning. Wrap evidence in and bury in the woods at night. Wipe up blood in. Cower under. use as awning. You get it free when you buy an awning. It doesn’t seem like anyone could reasonably charge for an awning idea kit. Many hoops are jumped through contortions are made to justify the massacre of human beings. Children dying on the beach human shields for sand for boats for fishermen. He sees the future and it falls away into the darkness of the void the edge of the cliff crumbling like dry bread under his feet. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but he is excited to be invited. He eats Brown rice. He talks with friends even as he feels the distance growing between them. He finishes things and then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. Savannah Guthrie is pregnant. She should host Meet the Press. He has a coffee and some cereal. He talks to a friend. They share righteous anger about the world. He sees an empty cigar case by the bus stop and thinks simultaneously of the cigar he often smokes with a brandy or a whiskey or some other unremembered liquor on New Years Eve and bill Clinton and Monica…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. Savannah Guthrie is pregnant. She should host Meet the Press. He has a coffee and some cereal. He talks to a friend. They share righteous anger about the world. He sees an empty cigar case by the bus stop and thinks simultaneously of the cigar he often smokes with a brandy or a whiskey or some other unremembered liquor on New Years Eve and bill Clinton and Monica…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. Savannah Guthrie is pregnant. She should host Meet the Press. He has a coffee and some cereal. He talks to a friend. They share righteous anger about the world. He sees an empty cigar case by the bus stop and thinks simultaneously of the cigar he often smokes with a brandy or a whiskey or some other unremembered liquor on New Years Eve and bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the oval office and how that charming lecherous man ruined many parts of that young woman’s life and yet still she appears strong and funny and wise because terrible things happen but even through them life is never wholly ruined just reshaped and tattered round it’s once pristine edges. A man leaves an envelope on the bus. He may have just got out of jail and the letter may be important. He calls after the man and gives him his letter. The man says thank you as he leaves the bus. It is a good feeling to be thanked by a stranger for a small kindness. He sits on the train and sees and old man with a wrist brace. He gets into an elevator with a man who is wearing moccasins threequarter length shorts and a fedora. He judges him and finds him wanting whilst also being envious of his confidence to be sartorially ridiculous. He had that once but now he has lost that. He goes to the baseball. It is hot. It is humid. Seats are sat in. Then it starts to rain and so begins the second level of hell. Food is purchased and then the shambling damned are watched with pity as they walk round and round in circles forever and no decision is made but that these people will continue to buy food and drink and ponchos and increase the profit of the stadium for another day because the rain keeps on coming down and forever passes by and a gap appears in the mass and it is entered but then it swallows them and they are trapped no with the damned shuffling forever wishing they had never left their comfortable spot by the pillar but now they are part of the behemoth limbed ocean of humanity that sludges by weeping and gnashing without food without water without beer without poncho and still the rain falls and still no decision is made and then the decide themselves and assert their ability to choose and spear their way out of the crowd and escape and barrel towards the exit thrusting creatures aside and carving them asunder as they finally escape into the balm of the rain and yet they find themselves abandoned by transport and still hopeless and lost and then a shining beacon of hope arrives on a chariot and they get in the chariot and go home and sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The elevator sounds like a penny whistle. It penny whistles down. He reads more Octavia Butler. He thinks about teeth. He thinks about whales. He thinks about royal families. He thinks about accidentally downloading a film from a dubious source and then getting a worried email from his landlord about a letter that he received from Verizon concerning illegal downloading. He is going…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The elevator sounds like a penny whistle. It penny whistles down. He reads more Octavia Butler. He thinks about teeth. He thinks about whales. He thinks about royal families. He thinks about accidentally downloading a film from a dubious source and then getting a worried email from his landlord about a letter that he received from Verizon concerning illegal downloading. He is going…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The elevator sounds like a penny whistle. It penny whistles down. He reads more Octavia Butler. He thinks about teeth. He thinks about whales. He thinks about royal families. He thinks about accidentally downloading a film from a dubious source and then getting a worried email from his landlord about a letter that he received from Verizon concerning illegal downloading. He is going to be sent to federal prison for watching Divergent illegally. He is scared. The air conditioning does not work. He is sweating motionless on the bed beads of sweat writing on his body weighing his body down. He has a coffee. He has an an erection. He has a thought. He takes food for lunch. He looks forward to pulled pork empanadas. He doesn’t have to wait long for the bus. He arrived at work. His mug has gone his Orioles mug has gone some muggerfucker has stolen it he is irritated and he searches prowls the desks for his treasured Orioles mug but he cannot find it he cannot find his mug anywhere no matter how hard he searches he returns to his grotto defeated. He is remembering things in the wrong order. He imagined Proust never had this problem. He eats lunch. He works. He works quite hard. It is not hard work. He smiles at the Scotland uniform for the commonwealth games. It looks like a drunk rainbow has vomited on the team. It is amazing. He can’t look away. He is mesmerized. He goes to the gym. His muscles ache in a pleasant way. Afterwards he positions himself under a light in the changing room and tenses his muscles. The angle of the light casts sharp relief on his body and he looks very toned. He is not very toned and he knows this but he enjoys the fantasy as he stands under the light tensing into the mirror then he hears the door to the changing room open so he quickly grabs a towel and rushes into the shower he does not want to be found nude by a colleague creating poses in a changing room mirror even under complimentary lighting. It is hot and humid outside. He is not late for the train. He times the train perfectly. He is on the train. He is aiming directly for his bed. He will eat his carrot spinach kale soup which is far tastier than it has any right to be. It has every right to be tasty. He stops arguing with his taste buds and just lets the pleasure wash over him. He reads. He writes. He cogitates. He drinks coffee. He watches msnbc. He watches fox news. He watches cnn. He ignores the throbbing at the back of the head that watching these three things does. Then he cannot ignore it so he turns the television off. He reads about the death of the novel the death of the literary novel and the phoenix rising of the self-published fan fiction extravaganza. He thinks about getting a haircut. He needs to get a haircut. His hair is too long. He ponders over a conversation he overheard at work. He self-flagellates about an error at work that could have been solved, by him, days ago, but he let it go and then it got out of control. Then he gets over it because no one died. Then he watches a trailer for Dawn of the Apes. Hollywood does love Apocalypse. Hollywood does have contempt for the masses for the people venerating the strong leader the benevolent fascist the Strong Man the cowardly huddle mass begging for leadership and direction. Not a democratic view of the world. He does not know what that means or what to make of it. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He follows an old man who leans on a cane. The old man is wearing a tshirt. Written On the back of the Tshirt is ‘Still porkin’ after all these years.’ The inclusion of the apostrophe gives a jaunty feel to an old man publicly declaring that he still fucks regularly. The man has white hair and a beard like summertime Father Christmas. The supreme court respects the religious rights…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He follows an old man who leans on a cane. The old man is wearing a tshirt. Written On the back of the Tshirt is ‘Still porkin’ after all these years.’ The inclusion of the apostrophe gives a jaunty feel to an old man publicly declaring that he still fucks regularly. The man has white hair and a beard like summertime Father Christmas. The supreme court respects the religious rights…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He follows an old man who leans on a cane. The old man is wearing a tshirt. Written On the back of the Tshirt is ‘Still porkin’ after all these years.’ The inclusion of the apostrophe gives a jaunty feel to an old man publicly declaring that he still fucks regularly. The man has white hair and a beard like summertime Father Christmas. The supreme court respects the religious rights of incorporeal persons over the rights of corporeal persons. The Juggernaut to corporate theocracy continues happily onward. He wonders if religio-conservative America would be okay with a Muslim family running a successful company and then applying moderate sharia law to their employees. He thinks religio-conservative America might not like that not one bit at all. He eats some dates. He eats some almonds. He waits for the bus. A very old small lady walks very slowly into the bus. The old lady pays with a lot of change each coin coming into the coin collector as the great from outside gold the bus the site conditioning pushing against the wall of heat so hot already in the hot humid morning. A man has eyes everywhere. A woman did on her electric chair observing the passengers enter. A man reads a broad sheet he purchased from a vending machine. This is a rare occurrence it is not an app or a website or a free bus newspaper handed out by at a loss by friendly people at bus stops. He watches the USA get defeated by Belgium in the world cup and then marvels that America manages to call it a victory which it cannot be if the definition of victory is being used in an accurate way. Someone says that the underdog US team comes back the top dog but this is to misunderstand what top dog means. The US team was defeated and they lost and that is okay the taste of failure is not a pleasant one but it is a common one and he thinks it is sad that it has got to the point where a media psychosis exists that does not allow for the acknowledgment of American defeat. As with soccer so with armed conflict and hegemony. Nothing can be learned from the denial of defeat. It only covers the festering injury with another bloody bandage when what is really needed is a painful cleaning and redressing of the wound so that healing can be completed. He ponders this as he watches America’s Got Talent and observes more honesty in that show than in Congress and that to makes him pause and think but he reaches no firm conclusions other than they are probably all on the same continuum and the sliding scale of perception will art some point squeeze them all together. He goes to sleep. .
He wakes up to The smell of Cut grass and gasoline. Jailed journalists in Egypt. Convicted editor…
He wakes up to The smell of Cut grass and gasoline. Jailed journalists in Egypt. Convicted editor in England. Helicopter gunships given to Egypt by America. Impressed British Prime Minister. He drinks a coffee. He drinks some water. He tries a push up. it is marginally successful. He tries a pull up. He cannot pull up. He rests two eggs and a zucchini drowned in yellow mustard. It does not taste…
He wakes up to The smell of Cut grass and gasoline. Jailed journalists in Egypt. Convicted editor…
He wakes up to The smell of Cut grass and gasoline. Jailed journalists in Egypt. Convicted editor in England. Helicopter gunships given to Egypt by America. Impressed British Prime Minister. He drinks a coffee. He drinks some water. He tries a push up. it is marginally successful. He tries a pull up. He cannot pull up. He rests two eggs and a zucchini drowned in yellow mustard. It does not taste…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up to The smell of Cut grass and gasoline. Jailed journalists in Egypt. Convicted editor in England. Helicopter gunships given to Egypt by America. Impressed British Prime Minister. He drinks a coffee. He drinks some water. He tries a push up. it is marginally successful. He tries a pull up. He cannot pull up. He rests two eggs and a zucchini drowned in yellow mustard. It does not taste as desperate as it sounds. It is hot outside like a sauna but a sauna he would happily spend hours in sitting next to hot coals fanning himself. He works magic with lights. He walks into traffic but as luck would have it is synchronous with the red light. This is an accident but no one would know that from his demeanor. Deep inside he weeps with relief. He runs onto the train. All the carriages are new there are new carriages. He is confused. He remembers Rik Mayall is dead. This makes him sad. He liked Rik Mayall for making him laugh. He remembers drinking vodka at School one weekend for the first time or the second time in a classrom at School and watching Bottom Live and being drunk and laughing loudly laughing too loudly because that’s what he thought The Drunk People did and he was drunk and wanted desperately to be liked as he is still desperate to be liked but that part of him is shielded protected less powerful now but ready at any moment to reclaim a throne. Then he remembers a story sometime someone told him about Rik Mayall who did an unpleasant thing but was that a dream everyone is unpleasant and confidences like that are not to be shared. He watches his past crumble like dry sandcastles. All the dry sandcastles blowing up pretty beige clouds in the intermittent breeze. He shouldn’t be thinking about masturbation on the elevator but he is. He could grind one out here and no one would know would they no one would care they would film it and he would be YouTube famous which is still famous. He watches as passengers help an old man find a wallet. He does not help. He does not need to the old man already has too much help. He is happy to get his wallet back which he dropped at the entrance to the bus. This happened in the morning. Now it is the evening. So much has happened already today. He eats some tasty food. He reads Gore Vidal novels. He inhales the sweet narcotic of America’s Got Talent through his eyes. He watches a beautiful dress being worn perfectly. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is an excellent electric guitarist with a hamburger with vampire wings tattoo by the metro. He enjoys the music but not as much as the vampire winged hamburger tattoo. The air conditioning in the carriage makes it stink like baked rubber. The air conditioning is probably not working or it is a plan to discourage passengers. He makes an animation. It is mountains and the sun…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is an excellent electric guitarist with a hamburger with vampire wings tattoo by the metro. He enjoys the music but not as much as the vampire winged hamburger tattoo. The air conditioning in the carriage makes it stink like baked rubber. The air conditioning is probably not working or it is a plan to discourage passengers. He makes an animation. It is mountains and the sun…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is an excellent electric guitarist with a hamburger with vampire wings tattoo by the metro. He enjoys the music but not as much as the vampire winged hamburger tattoo. The air conditioning in the carriage makes it stink like baked rubber. The air conditioning is probably not working or it is a plan to discourage passengers. He makes an animation. It is mountains and the sun rising above the mountains. It is more impressive than he expected but it serves no purpose. An old Chicago Whitesocks fan talks to him about baseball. It is a human connection brought about by a misunderstanding and it is deeply moving and important to the shape of the day. A woman honks her horn but she is smiling not honking the horn in anger but to get the attention of a friend. He gets into the car. They smile and she drives off. He eats left over turkey burger then spends an hour considering the cleverness of that decision in a small windowless room. He finds a piece of paper. His writing is on it. He had written gender divide anatomical sex gender divide the technologists are totalitarian plutocrats theocratic swelling he does not know what it means or why he wrote those words. He does some writing. Herakles is not the most straightforward hero. Complex sociopath. He finishes Piketty’s Capital and wonders if it will signal the change of anything. He thinks back to earlier in the day when he was marginally younger and then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. It is not a snow day but it is a day covered in snow. He talks to a Governor who is polite but doesn’t aim his considerable charms at him because he is not important enough to warrant such affection. He eats some polenta which tastes unusual…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. It is not a snow day but it is a day covered in snow. He talks to a Governor who is polite but doesn’t aim his considerable charms at him because he is not important enough to warrant such affection. He eats some polenta which tastes unusual…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. It is not a snow day but it is a day covered in snow. He talks to a Governor who is polite but doesn’t aim his considerable charms at him because he is not important enough to warrant such affection. He eats some polenta which tastes unusual and then he realises he doesn’t know if it tastes unusual because he doesn’t remember having ever eaten polenta before so it may be perfectly good polenta but he remembers joking that it might taste like soap and because he has implanted the idea of tasting like soap it now tastes like soap but because it is not soap and because he is hungry he eats it and manages to enjoy it as he watches the graceful ice dancers compete with one another. Then he gives his car to NPR and finally it will be off his hands and now all he has to do is to deal with the stress of going to court because he was driving with his British license which was apparently not the right thing to do and he hopes the court will have mercy on his ignorance and he will not be sent to Guantanamo Bay or deported. Then he listens to the radio and he is glad he is giving his car to NPR because he only once paid for a subscription and he has listened to at least a cars worth of radio since he has been in America and even if he is giving them a low quality car it is still a car so he may be able to listen for a little while longer without feeling guilty for not paying regularly when they beg him for money. He listens to Noam Chomsky talking calmly and patiently as he describes how the skin is being pulled back from the skull of the world and the whole planet is doomed because of rapacious capitalism. He has a hot chocolate and this makes him feel better. He reads a sad story about the shooting of a young girl because a she egged a car and the violence is thick in the air and the fear is thicker and there seems to be little hope for anything to go well but then he watches Jimmy Fallon hosting The Tonight Show and he forgets for a moment all the awful things and he eats a pie that contains mostly salt and fat and sugar and some meat and that helps him forget the horror of the world and then he watches more beautiful ice dancing and graceful freestyle ski jumping and ski ballet which is also graceful and slightly comical. Then four old men get stuck on a roof in New York and no one will let them down until they sing songs to strangers. Then he is impressed by some snow art of Lincoln and a mini Mount Rushmore all made of snow all made in driveways and somewhere else old people slip and break their hips. Then he enjoys more of Jimmy Fallon and then he smiles and then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. He has a driving test. He is ready for his driving test. He gets on a bus. He gets off that bus and gets on another bus. His friend is driving there to the mva to meet him but when he gets there his friend tells him it is closed…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. He has a driving test. He is ready for his driving test. He gets on a bus. He gets off that bus and gets on another bus. His friend is driving there to the mva to meet him but when he gets there his friend tells him it is closed…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. He has a driving test. He is ready for his driving test. He gets on a bus. He gets off that bus and gets on another bus. His friend is driving there to the mva to meet him but when he gets there his friend tells him it is closed for the Labor Day but it is not Labor Day but it is a government workers holiday anyway so it is a wasted journey and his friend seems fine with it and they have breakfast at Silver Diner and then he learns that his friends car has a cracked windscreen so it would not have been useable for the test anyway but then they drive into town and they say goodbye and he meets with another friend who is leaving the city forever and they talk and drink coffee and eat donuts and fried chicken and it is heavenly and then he travels home but first he does some baby sitting and some talking about Syria and he tries to ignore the news but it is difficult to ignore the enws when he is addicted to knowing all about the news. Then he goes home and he reads and he eats and he doesn’t pack his bags for the next day and he falls asleep after booking an expensive last minute hotel.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is still drunk the third day in a row he is drunk from the night before, It is a comforting blanket. It nuzzles him. It reassures him. It is love. He dresses and cannot find his house keys he searches in many places many times and then…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is still drunk the third day in a row he is drunk from the night before, It is a comforting blanket. It nuzzles him. It reassures him. It is love. He dresses and cannot find his house keys he searches in many places many times and then…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is still drunk the third day in a row he is drunk from the night before, It is a comforting blanket. It nuzzles him. It reassures him. It is love. He dresses and cannot find his house keys he searches in many places many times and then remembers that he has at other times left the house keys in the front door so he goes down to the front door but they are not in the front door but when he turns to go back upstairs he sees that someone has placed them on the table in the hallway and he is greatful for this and he leaves the house although he is late again then he learns that Mubarak has been released and he hears the Darth Vadar march music in his head and he thinks how terrible this is for the imagined democracy of Egypt and how the thugs of the army have taken over again and they are freeing their leader but then he learns that this is normal practice because, after all Mubarak has not been convicted of anything no matter how awful you may think he is and there is a time limit in Egypt on keeping someone in a prison without a conviction so it ends up being a little more reasonable than at first it was reported although he still feels at the back of his mind that there is being special treatment handed out to Mubarak but that is because of all of the prejudices he keeps in a bag that he straps to his belt every day. Then he learns that a young man was found hanging in a US prison cell and rather than cut him down police officers went to get cameras so that they could take pictures while he was still alive. This seems like an inhuman and terrible thing because it is an inhuman and terrible thing. Then there is an odd story in the news that BAE systems are using technologies to help professional athletes to become better at their chosen sports but the story doesn’t have any of the technology that BAE systems claims will help the athletes all it does have is a handsome British tae kwon do olympian flying in a military flight simulator and then a after effects heavy fight between two faceless martial artists and then some people being interviewed who hope to see the technology available one day so the story itself seems a little mysterious are BAE systems who make weapons that kill people trying to show a softer more civilian side to their operation because some awful story is about to come out or are they about to lose all of their military contracts so they are looking for peaceful uses of their human shredding technology or are they going to use the athletes in some kind of experiments in which they are turned into autonomous super soldiers who will be unstoppable on any field of battle? He does not know the answer to this but when one employee at BAE talks about how accurate simulations of martial arts fights will be able to be created so that athletes will be able to practice against their opponent the awesome enlarged part of his brain that loves conspiracy theories thinks that this would also be a perfect way to train soldiers by putting them in a vr environment and programming their virtual enemy with all the strategies of their real enemy whether this would be China or Luxembourg or Scotland because you can never tell who your future enemy is going to be. He spends his time online on forums not having to worry about rape threats or in the real world worrying about the unblinking eye of the male gaze and he is thankful for that and sickened by that and then watches a story about Rita Moreno and listens to his favourite song from West Side Story which perfectly captures the complexity of America and perfectly captures the White Patriarchal systematised racism of the and now. I want to live in America Things will be great in America If you are white in America and so it is better but it is not better and a pew poll out today tells him that things aren’t that better but white people still think things are better just like the white people in the 60s who thought everyone had an equal opportunity in America just as a majority of white people think that everyone has an equal opportunity in America today and money has nothing to do with it and ethnicity has nothing to do with it but it is easy to see with the looking and the eyes that this is not the case. He has an orange slushy and bread drenched in spray cheese and baconnaise. Spray cheese is proof of the End of Days. Baconnaise is proof of The End of Days. He watches footage of people dying in Syria and pupils dilating and shivering feverish bodies jerking and spasming and now that the red line has been crossed surely something will be done but all he can think about is the smurf t-shirt on one young boy one distraught young boy wearing a smurf tshirt and it reminds him of the safety of his childhood in Scotland watching The smurfs on Saturday morning with his brother in the safety of their bedroom with their snacks and their laughter and this screaming child who has probably lost his family with his smurf t-shirt scrabbling around with neighbours in the dead of night terrified is not the world that should be but the world that is and even if this huge massacre by chemical weapons were shown to be a fraud and a theater and an act of propaganda the UN says that over 100,000 people have died and this is men and women and children and mostly non-combatants mostly people like the child with the smurf tshirt and the mother of the child with the smurf tshirt and the father of the child with the smurf tshirt and the sister of the child with the smurf tshirt and maybe even the gay uncle but he’s accepted by his family because he is family and everyone loves him in the smurf tshirt and why is the red line chemical weapons when over 100000 people have died that is a lot of people and when a majority of them are civilians and they are massacred without any means of defending themselves that seems even more awful and even if you hate your own government and they way they manipulate international events for their own self-interested purposes as they always do he thinks you get to a point when you become complicit in this horror by not at least speaking out about it and he doesn’t have a solution but something is deeply wrong with an international system that allows this to happen to allow a country to do this to it’s people and for other countries to stand by and watch it happen and wring their hands but do nothing so maybe he is advocating for a collapse of all states and a return to an agrarian Eden but this is of course nonsense but even though he is a fan of passive resistance it seems that in this context passive resistance against a tank doesn’t seem to work and the desire to advocate for a violent response because at least that is something even if it is not the right thing seems like a compelling thing to do when men and women and children with smurf tshirts are being massacred. Then at the bus stop a deaf gentleman comes up to him and he has left his car lights on all day so now his car is dead and he asks if it would be possible to make a phone call to a Pastor Heinreich so a call is made to Pastor Heinreich but he only gets a receptionist and leaves a message so Mr. Levenson, who is the polite deaf gentleman is nervous and worried because his car was his only means of getting home and he has never taken a bus before and he does not know how to order a taxi so after waiting he offers to take the deaf gentleman to the taxi rank and he walks him over and he explains to one taxi driver who will not take him because his credit card machine is broken which is probably a lie because it generally means that there is extra paper work but even so they go to the next taxi driver and he is willing to take Mr. Levenson so he explains to the driver that Mr. Levenson is deaf and he needs to be taken home and he shakes the hand of Mr. Levenson who is nearly in tears and what he perceives as some glorious generosity but it is a nice thing to do a nice thing especially when he very rarely does any nice things and he ushers Mr. Levenson into the car and then walks away hoping that the taxi driver takes Mr. Levenson home. He worries about this a great deal but believing in the essential goodness of people he believes that it all worked out okay. Then he has a cup caked and a mango flavoured ice tea then he buys the autobiography of Malcom X and Why We Can’t Wait by Martin Luther King Jr because he feels it is important to buy them from a bookshop and not from Amazon and not download them for free from some torrent website and he buys a copy of The United States of Paranoia by Jesse Walker which he also bought for a friend the other day and posted because he was drunk and thought it would be nice to buy a book for a friend who also shares a love of conspiracy theories but he did buy it on Amazon and feels bad or that because their employee practices are so heinous but he was drunk so he uses that as an excuse as he uses it as an excuse for so many of the awful things he has done in his life. Then he drinks some red wine and then he watches some Chris Hayes who is less irritating than normal and then he plays some video games because he has been thinking too much all day and they help fry the neurons and redirect them into other less contentious places that will calm him for a while because it is tiring to be angry all the time and then he is going to go to a party but he has an anxiety attack about being in a house full of people that he won’t know very well and he won’t be able to talk and converse and why would they want to talk and converse with him anyway so he takes deep breaths and contacts the friend and explains his anxiety attack and she is understanding and that makes him feel better but also feel guilty because it is a leaving party but he will see her individually next week and he really should go and talk to someone about these anxiety attacks that he keeps having as they are affecting his life quite a lot and then he drinks some more red wine and then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up . He watches hours and hours of commercials hawking legal narcotics of alcohol and pain killers and sex aids and cell phones and cars and more pain killers and more cars and more drugs and more sex aids and religious dating and cars and…
The SleepCoat League Presents: 