Tag: jesus

An Easter Story Part 1.


An Easter Story Part 1.

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And behold, there was a great earthquake and the large egg did crack from the top and Jesus did burst forth with great you and said unto his disciples, ‘Be not afraid for even though the frame of this egg is a sturdy wire mesh yet the shell itself is a tasty sugar mixture. Go spread the good news!” But the Easter Chick remained unimpressed.

Matthew 28:1-10

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An Easter Story Part 1.


An Easter Story Part 1.

wpid-wp-1426904029076.jpeg

And behold, there was a great earthquake and the large egg did crack from the top and Jesus did burst forth with great you and said unto his disciples, ‘Be not afraid for even though the frame of this egg is a sturdy wire mesh yet the shell itself is a tasty sugar mixture. Go spread the good news!” But the Easter Chick remained unimpressed.

Matthew 28:1-10

View On WordPress

An Easter Story Part 2.


 

wpid-wp-1426904029076.jpeg

 

And behold, there was a great earthquake and the large egg did crack from the top and Jesus did burst forth with great you and said unto his disciples, ‘Be not afraid for even though the frame of this egg is a sturdy wire mesh yet the shell itself is a tasty sugar mixture. Go spread the good news!” But the Easter Chick remained unimpressed.

Matthew 28:1-10

An Easter Story Part 1.


wpid-wp-1426904009036.jpeg

Then sent Jesus two disciples, saying unto them, “Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an enormous bunny tied, and also a giant chick with her, but take the enormous bunny, and bring it unto me, but leave the giant chick where it is. And if anyone say ought unto you, ye shall say, the Lord hath need of a really enormous bunny; and straightway they shall send it.”

Matthew 21:1-3

Appetite for Distraction – Bunny Gonna Fuck You Up.


easter bunny

NEITHER THE EASTER BUNNY NOR JESUS THOUGHT MUCH OF YOUR APRIL FOOLS’ PRANKS.

Culture of Illusion – Armageddon or Bust.


Ignore the awful yellow backdrop and the garish red font and enjoy this great song.

The Pilgrim Travellers were a Texas based gospel group who found fame in the late 1940s and early 1950s.

This is the only song of theirs that I know. I had it on a compilation of Atomic themed songs that I bought from a record store a few years ago. Yes. We used to buy records from record stores. Now we sit in our beds wearing only our shame clicking on buttons to fill our hard drives with data. Ahem.

Great song.

There are definitely not enough Jesus/Atomic themed songs in the current hit parade.

Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift really need to step their game up.

They could easily rerecord some of their current hits:

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Because Jesus is Riding an Atom Bomb Straight into our Living Room.

As  Long As You Love Me Because Jesus Has The Launch Codes And He’s Not Afraid To Use Them.

See how easy it is?

Culture of Illusion – Fear the Shacker.


I found this on my morning bus.

Sometimes the best thing to do is let your first impression be the impression that you keep in your brain:

who loves you?
The Milky Tear of Sin.

Who loves me? I don’t know. Is it Hulk Hogan? Jenna Elfman? Danny Trejo? How about Donald Rumsfeld? Am I going to get a clue?

jesus does.
Shame Cloud.

 

What? My sins? What do you mean? I haven’t murdered anyone! You can’t defame me like that and expect to get away with it.

Drunkenness is not even on the same playing field as murder. Unless I got drunk and murdered a witch. Wait, is murdering a witch okay?

Why is gay in parentheses? Do you think I don’t know what homosexuality is?

What the fuck is shacking? (looks up shacking) I did not even realise that that was a word for that thing there. I thought it was going to be an interesting and depraved sex act not a simple one night stand. I have participated in neither recently. Not for want of trying.

INCEST?! How is incest the same as filthy talk?

poor foundations
Xanadu anyone?

 

But Jesus, you’ve built my gorgeous mansion on a CLOUD. I am no engineering expert but that is not the firm foundation that a building of that magnificence needs. Is it a magic mansion powered by some mysterious substance like the Islands of Laputa? Is that mysterious substance Faith? Oooh. I see what you’re doing here. That’s very clever.

Is it lit with energy efficient bulbs because I’m very keen on being environmental and if it’s not then I’m afraid that’s a deal-breaker, as lovely as that mansion looks.

Still not sure about the wispy cloud foundations though. You’re sure that the integrity of the structure is sound?

It reminds me of Gatsby’s mansion and I don’t remember that tale ending too well.

poor foundations 1
There is very little furniture in Heaven.

 

FUCK! Scary Giant Faceless Monster! I’ll do whatever you want just leave my family alone!