Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He immediately regrets eating six microwaved White Castle tiny burgers. The rest of the day is unpleasant and should not be described. He enters his bed with trepidation not looking forward to sleep or what will replace sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He immediately regrets eating six microwaved White Castle tiny burgers. The rest of the day is unpleasant and should not be described. He enters his bed with trepidation not looking forward to sleep or what will replace sleep.

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He immediately regrets eating six microwaved White Castle tiny burgers. The rest of the day is unpleasant and should not be described. He enters his bed with trepidation not looking forward to sleep or what will replace sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He is in a hotel. It is the best feeling to wake up in an old hotel with someone you love after a night of fried chicken and donuts and cocktails and not to be woken by bad dreams or unyielding horrors at the fringes of perception. He drinks a blueberry coffee which tastes like someone accidentally dropped herbal tea into his coffee and then he drinks a pecan coffee which tastes…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He is in a hotel. It is the best feeling to wake up in an old hotel with someone you love after a night of fried chicken and donuts and cocktails and not to be woken by bad dreams or unyielding horrors at the fringes of perception. He drinks a blueberry coffee which tastes like someone accidentally dropped herbal tea into his coffee and then he drinks a pecan coffee which tastes…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He is in a hotel. It is the best feeling to wake up in an old hotel with someone you love after a night of fried chicken and donuts and cocktails and not to be woken by bad dreams or unyielding horrors at the fringes of perception. He drinks a blueberry coffee which tastes like someone accidentally dropped herbal tea into his coffee and then he drinks a pecan coffee which tastes glorious flavour explosions in his mouth. Then he feels the rain on his face and then he feels the sun on his face and then it is dark because he has closed his eyes and they are pinched tight but then he opens then and everything is still the same and there is sun and there is rain and there are bananas to eat. We are all dehumanized. The word is used to refer to things that we don’t like to acknowledge are all too normal. Human is all things it is not just the good things. Then he listens to tired questions and tired answers and the games continue and the nothing changes. Then he eats some fries and then he eats a pop tart without first toasting it and then he watches The Blacklist which is a show about daddy issues in which James Spader plays a wonderful villain who is really the main character’s father but maybe isn’t but probably is but everything is put in place to make it seem like he is even if no one is saying that is the case. Then he wonders about freedom and he feels it crushing him and then he falls asleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There are many worse things than socks and sandals. He sits in his chair at work staring at screens for hours doing nothing productive just staring and then trying to lick his own eyeballs which is impossible because his tongue isn’t long enough and then flicking through web pages and then doing the same on his phone and then on his kindle and looking at the same things and pressing…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There are many worse things than socks and sandals. He sits in his chair at work staring at screens for hours doing nothing productive just staring and then trying to lick his own eyeballs which is impossible because his tongue isn’t long enough and then flicking through web pages and then doing the same on his phone and then on his kindle and looking at the same things and pressing…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. There are many worse things than socks and sandals. He sits in his chair at work staring at screens for hours doing nothing productive just staring and then trying to lick his own eyeballs which is impossible because his tongue isn’t long enough and then flicking through web pages and then doing the same on his phone and then on his kindle and looking at the same things and pressing buttons and staring and eating and drinking thick black coffee like tar and he can’t tell the difference between reality shows and drama and the news and sitcoms and documentaries they are all the same they are all the same they are all the same they are all the same. Captain America smeared all over the media landscape. A mother who worked in a hospital is dragged behind a police car in Brazil. She dies. There is uproar. There is no ned to it. It is called inhuman but it is entirely human because human beings as always did it and using the word human soley for the good things humans do seems to be a little one-sided. He is never his best self. Humans are never their best selves. There is no such thing – just the time before composting begins. He sees an Illuminati eye hovering above the road. No one else seems to see it so he ignores it and heads into Dunkin’ Donuts for a donut flavoured coffee and a coffee flavoured donut. His confused tastebuds do not thank him. He hears the endles screams of a Mother who wants to know what has happened to her missing son and the plane that her missing son is on. She is dragged away by men. Others scream and ululate journalists parents officials a multi-limbed gaggle staggers towards the open door that soon closes behind the woman locking the questions out. Hope is held out for the resolution to the disappearance of a little girl and now perhaps a serial child rapist holds the key. Then an amber alert for a young girl missing for a week because the mother didn’t want the shelter manager who may have taken her to lose his job and bits of the plane may have been found and then it may not have been found and maybe Courtney Love knows where it is after all and Michael Gove is criticising the Cabinet for being full of old Etonians and then he is being criticised by a poet for giving school  property away to private companies and then he eats a burger and enjoys sangria and reads some Chekov and some Bible and some Shakespeare. He puts a sleep tracker on his wrist and then he goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He chews on his soul. He spits it out into the bowl. His lip swells. It is bleeding. Blisters swelling on his lips. His beard down to his knees. He sits on a mountain. Then he plugs in his ipod. He listens to Shel Silverstein reading poetry to the Dalai Lama. Johnny Cash comes round for tea. A slide is set up from the top of the mountain down all the way down to a tiny little lake at…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He chews on his soul. He spits it out into the bowl. His lip swells. It is bleeding. Blisters swelling on his lips. His beard down to his knees. He sits on a mountain. Then he plugs in his ipod. He listens to Shel Silverstein reading poetry to the Dalai Lama. Johnny Cash comes round for tea. A slide is set up from the top of the mountain down all the way down to a tiny little lake at…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He chews on his soul. He spits it out into the bowl. His lip swells. It is bleeding. Blisters swelling on his lips. His beard down to his knees. He sits on a mountain. Then he plugs in his ipod. He listens to Shel Silverstein reading poetry to the Dalai Lama. Johnny Cash comes round for tea. A slide is set up from the top of the mountain down all the way down to a tiny little lake at the base. It is cool and fresh and is for drinking only so when they all slide in the water is dirtied and rendered spiritually and medically unuseable. Everyone gets sick but they do not die. Then they are healed. Then the cat litter is taken out and is spread across the mountain and all of the ice and the snow melts and poisoned with cat litter renders the area unliveable but he goes back to the city because his holiday is over and he can get back to the regular monotony of his life. He forgets about the damage he has caused because he will go somewhere else for his next holiday. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is snow still the snow it keeps snowing there will always be snow and there will never not be snow. He has a coffee and he eats some toast and he gets on the bus and he arrives at work and he learns about rotting gold filling up the arteries of the world. There is no hope. There is no end. There is an endless end ending itself on the beach of this desperate futility. There is…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. There is snow still the snow it keeps snowing there will always be snow and there will never not be snow. He has a coffee and he eats some toast and he gets on the bus and he arrives at work and he learns about rotting gold filling up the arteries of the world. There is no hope. There is no end. There is an endless end ending itself on the beach of this desperate futility. There is…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. There is snow still the snow it keeps snowing there will always be snow and there will never not be snow. He has a coffee and he eats some toast and he gets on the bus and he arrives at work and he learns about rotting gold filling up the arteries of the world. There is no hope. There is no end. There is an endless end ending itself on the beach of this desperate futility. There is cake in the kitchen at work. This is a delight. He eats some of the cake with a coffee that he makes for himself in the large machine that makes the coffee that is most likely the son of HAL. It is going to kill everyone one day sucking all the oxygen out of the office as it sings Row Row Row your boat softly into infinity. There is weather everywhere. He learns about beard implants. Beard implants. There is such a thing as beard implants. He has never needed a beard implant. He has spent his life in a world in which beards and hairyness was not looked upon with delight but with disgust and now as he gets old it is all the rage the in thing all the cool kids are doing it and the most popular implant is the Brad Pitt because of course it is why would it not be and why does he feel this rising sense of bitterness at the world and at the past and at his history he does not know but the cake helps. He looks at the faces of strangers and he can tell nothing for certain. He believes he sees tiredness and boredom and sadness and some happiness but these are all projections he is none the wiser as to their internal lives and their hopes and their dreams and then he plays some more Candy Crush. He watches as all the cameras in the world start losing control and taking pictures and recording things and storing them and a turning into a heaving gelatinous blob of oozing images blinking whirring collating and preparing for some future court date where you will be found guilty after all the evidence they collected is presented to the robot judge. Then he eats a sandwich and then he goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He is ready again for the bureacracy again as he walks to the bus stop and waits for an hour as a bus fails to come and his hands are cold and finally he get on a bus and then gets off the bus and waits in the cold again and farts loudly in the empty street and then round the corner many joggers appear but where are they appearing from it is so early in the morning and they are…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He is ready again for the bureacracy again as he walks to the bus stop and waits for an hour as a bus fails to come and his hands are cold and finally he get on a bus and then gets off the bus and waits in the cold again and farts loudly in the empty street and then round the corner many joggers appear but where are they appearing from it is so early in the morning and they are…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He is ready again for the bureacracy again as he walks to the bus stop and waits for an hour as a bus fails to come and his hands are cold and finally he get on a bus and then gets off the bus and waits in the cold again and farts loudly in the empty street and then round the corner many joggers appear but where are they appearing from it is so early in the morning and they are jogging and he is still farting and he stops but they run through his cloud and they know that it is him because he is the only one there on the street as they struggle through the stinking cloud he has created and then the bus arrives but it is too late they already know that it is him. Then he is at the mva again and this time he manages to explain what is going on and he is told he needs new proof of address so he walks to the nearest Staples. It is an enormous warehouse of stationary and there is a nice lady who helps him and a nice gentleman who helps him and he feels like he is the only person in this giant quiet pleasant smelling cavern. He prints out his new proof of addresses and hopes he remember to change his passwords later for his accounts because he does not trust public computers. Then he returns to the mva and he gets his number and he waits for a long time and then the lady helps him and lo and behold and hallelujah there is a record of his passing his driving test so all he needs to do is to be reconfirmed by Homeland Security and retake his legal test and he will have his license and hopefully they will not put him in prison and throw away the key for 60 days. He reads a sign that suggests he become an organ donor. He reads about Assange and it is insightful and a hatchet job and both or neither depending on your current view of him and what he was and is and will be as he sits in the Ecuadorean Embassy slowly going insane trapped. He hears families waiting and friends making inappropriate jokes. He walks by the Mexican food truck which is one of the finest food trucks he has even eaten from. There is sniping about the Gold Medal being given unfairly to Russia for the figure skating. There are arguments about words sniper or marksman terrorist or freedom fighter chips or fries crisps or chips potato potato. A teenager has overpowering perfume sickly sweet that fills the bus. Paperwork madness ordered into meaning. Homeland security background checks. Something has happened. Something that is important and meaningful. There are buses and cancellations and donuts and coffee and pain and lasagne and house of cards and very quiet tension and so so so so so so many car commercials. He goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. The pall of death is still on him. Then it leaves him after a coffee. Then he is on a bus and his hair is everywhere. Then he wades through the mire of human sadness. Then he eats a bagel. Then he plans how to save himself from jail and he gets a lawyer and he prints out some forms and he fills in some forms. Then sees that the Dalai Lama is visting the President and he wonders what…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. The pall of death is still on him. Then it leaves him after a coffee. Then he is on a bus and his hair is everywhere. Then he wades through the mire of human sadness. Then he eats a bagel. Then he plans how to save himself from jail and he gets a lawyer and he prints out some forms and he fills in some forms. Then sees that the Dalai Lama is visting the President and he wonders what…

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Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. The pall of death is still on him. Then it leaves him after a coffee. Then he is on a bus and his hair is everywhere. Then he wades through the mire of human sadness. Then he eats a bagel. Then he plans how to save himself from jail and he gets a lawyer and he prints out some forms and he fills in some forms. Then sees that the Dalai Lama is visting the President and he wonders what machinations are afoot. Then he heads to his house and he fills in forms and he buys some breakfast cereal and eats the breakfast cereal for his evening meal because he is an adult and he can do what he likes and then he prepares himself for the mva which is his second home and he watches graceful olympic ice racing and marvels and the beautiful slow motion replays and then he watches and listens and people scream at Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon ushering everyone to their doom on the sinking ship and he watches as they rap and dance and do impressions and then he goes to sleep.

Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He is ready for court. He puts on a suit that his headmaster gave him one time and he puts on a thin black tie and he wears his only smart shoes which happen to be a pair of hiking boots. Then he charges his phones and he walks to the bus and he gets on the bus and he walks to the train and he gets on the train and then in a tunnel the driver tells everyone to get off train but they are in a tunnel so no one can get off the train. They all sit there silently wondering if they do have to get off or if there has been a mistake. There has been a mistake. An army of children – small and inquisitive don’t touch that woman’s hair stop singing that song sit next to your grandmother and then they leave the train. He sees a Dunkin Donuts which he will go into after the trial and he will treat himself to coffee and donuts just like the policemen who will later be milling around the court room the huge policemen with their barrel chests and their hip holstered power. He walks through the heavy security playing words with friends and candy crush and jelly splash and break out and quietly soiling myself and watching as more and more people enter the court with their families or lawyers or friends or alone for parking or traffic violations and police with guns and swagger and cars turn in the road outside through the window and babies and boredom and standing and squatting and strangers talking about the day they will miss because of this and understanding bosses and second chances and paper work and worry and dressing in unfamiliar suits to appear before the law. Then all enter and he sits down but then he is told to stand up and line up for the state prosecuter and he realises he has no idea what he is doing he really should have brought a lawyer but it’s fine he’ll just plead guilty and get a fine. His throat getting drier expecting to be thrown in an airless dungeon. He needs some water but there is no water and there is no food and no food or drink are allowed into the court house. Then he is asked by the state prosecuter if he needs a lawyer and he says no and she looks at him strangely as he mumble something about his guilt and he realises he really doesn’t know what he’s doing and he is told to sit down and then the Judge enters and everyone stands and he seems like a nice old white gentlemen and power crackles from his fingertips in the most benign way imagineable. He tells everyone that this court is for jailable offences and suddenly it doesn’t seem to relaxed any more and that 60 days in prison and a fine and no possibility of immigration because of a jailable offence on his record and he goes up with five other men all need a translator and the judge explains what is going on and the translator translates in beautiful Spanish what is going on and his heart sinks as he realises he really has no idea what is going on and he thought that he would be okay but he is not going to be okay and the judge suggests that he gets a lawyer and suggests that he gets a driving license and he doesn’t ask if he can just never drive again but that doesn’t seem to be an option and then he is told to sit down and he is given a bit of paper to sign and a bit of paper to take with him and then he leaves stressed and confused and he goes to dunkin donuts and he drinks coffee and he eats an apple turnover and he tries to be witty but he is really not witty at all and he calls the airport and he is called by NPR and his car will be called on Monday. Then he watches as more factories blow up and Ukraine is alight and Venezuela is alight and the Keystone Pipeline will be alight and it was all predicted my mathematics last year and a simple story is a single piece of yarn. Life is a ball of yarn made up of an infinite number of pieces of yarn all different lengths. More factories blow up David bowie favours union. The debate for Scottish Indepencene takes a terrible blow from the Old White Duke. The Satanist lady probably a liar say the police and her father. Millions of women on the bus that he studiously ignores so that he doesn’t get accused of visual assault and he eats some candy for supper. He thinks back to court not going well. He does not understand the system and is told he could go to jail and get fined and have his chance at becoming an immigrant blocked he does not do well and he is stressed and he makes a terrible joke that ruins the day and then he plans for his car to be taken away on monday everything is repeating in his head and mashing down like mash potatoes and then he is wandering the city eating some chips and drinks an hawaiin soft drink that reminds him of childhood and Musselburgh, the pompeii of scotland. It is sugary and sickly and nothing like Hawaii or how he imagines Hawaii. It makes him feel cold. Then he wonders whether he is a potato or a strawberry as he remembers a conversation his headmaster once had with him and he does not understand it but then he is given an explanation that makes sense that the potato is dull and a staple a mass product of use but no particular delight but the strawberry is a bright shining beacon of flavour and colour for the palatte and the soul and the choice between being a work drone and someone who will stand out was what he was being offered and it all came from shoes not being shined and it took 20 years to get the answer but he is happy with that answer and whilst he is okay with being a potato he would actually much prefer to be a stawberry. He watches Jimmy Fallon who holds back the coming storm of chaos with jokes and unreserved happiness as the Titanic sinks into the ocean he falls asleep.