He wakes up. It is cold. Why is it cold? It was hot just the other day. It is summer. It should not be cold. It should be uncomfortably hot. Instead it is cold. He does not know why. He gets up. He makes some Moroccan mint tea and adds some honey. It is refreshing and it by its nature it freshens him. He tries to write. He fails. The cat wants to open the door. He tries to ignore the cat. The cat…
Tag: diary
He wakes up. It is cold. Why is it cold? It was hot just the other day. It is summer. It should not be cold. It should be uncomfortably hot. Instead it is cold. He does not know why. He gets up. He makes some Moroccan mint tea and adds some honey. It is refreshing and it by its nature it freshens him. He tries to write. He fails. The cat wants to open the door. He tries to ignore the cat. The cat…
Another Day.
He wakes up. It is cold. Why is it cold? It was hot just the other day. It is summer. It should not be cold. It should be uncomfortably hot. Instead it is cold. He does not know why. He gets up. He makes some Moroccan mint tea and adds some honey. It is refreshing and it by its nature it freshens him. He tries to write. He fails. The cat wants to open the door. He tries to ignore the cat. The cat does not allow this. He gives up writing. He will try again later. Herakles can wait. The cat cannot. He makes a breakfast of fried kale scrambled egg and parmesan for two it is very tasty which he was not expecting. Someone has been arrested for the Mansion Murders. The story is full of all the usual details that strike fear into the dark hearts of the 1% and those who aspire to be the 1%. House invasion. Kidnap. Murder of family and staff. Arson. No safety in one’s own castle. Arm the guards. Hovering missile drones need to be deployed around the castle like a buzzing flying moat of death. He thinks. He sits. He runs on a treadmill. He thinks some more. He watches as journalists barely contain their praise of the Isis propaganda machine. It is an odd thing to see. At some point he watches Red Nose Day. It is the first American red nose day. It will probably be the last. It is lifeless anodyne boring vapid lacking character missing the live quality of the British version missing the sense of community inclusiveness of the British version it takes place in a cavernous studio. There is an audience but the laughter seems canned. Maybe the audience are mannequins or the poor forced to work in order to receive foodstamps. They will sit but pride stops them from laughing at a Seth Meyers who is dwarfed by the gargantuan set. All the mistakes are coreographed and as such die before they begin. Al Roker breathes life into the dead room but then life leaves when he does. Jane Krakowski does the same. He shouldn’t care so much about this so he stops. It will probably make more money in one day than the British one has made in its entire 30 year history. Such is the death of empire being born in the shell of a one powerful country to then move and live on the hide of a Leviathan. He goes to sleep.
Another Day.
He wakes up. Everything is automated. The bed wakes him. Then he is bathed by a robot and massaged with a soft robot hand. The water is pumped from a pumping station by a computer and a robot. Then he is clothed. Clothed by clothes made by robots and carried by robots and delivered by robots. Then he eats food that has been picked by robots and cleaned by robots. Then he watches the television…
Another Day.
He wakes up. Everything is automated. The bed wakes him. Then he is bathed by a robot and massaged with a soft robot hand. The water is pumped from a pumping station by a computer and a robot. Then he is clothed. Clothed by clothes made by robots and carried by robots and delivered by robots. Then he eats food that has been picked by robots and cleaned by robots. Then he watches the television…
Another Day.
He wakes up. Everything is automated. The bed wakes him. Then he is bathed by a robot and massaged with a soft robot hand. The water is pumped from a pumping station by a computer and a robot. Then he is clothed. Clothed by clothes made by robots and carried by robots and delivered by robots. Then he eats food that has been picked by robots and cleaned by robots. Then he watches the television that has been made by computers and robots that they themselves have been made by computers and robots and all the people on the television are simulacrums of people and not real people but robots and androids that look like people and behave enough like his memory of people that he cannot tell the difference between what he sees and his memory of how people behave. Then he walks past all the people in the street who are robots or who are like him and have been provided for by robots as they all go to work on the automated trains through the automated pay gates and swipe their computer cards that connect to their banks accounts and transfer money to the automated train company bank accounts so the two automated systems talk to one another and in their own automated way wish one another good morning and then everyone is on the automated train and then they get off the automated train and ant walk their ways to their offices that are maintained by robots and automated cleaners and automated guards and he swipes his computer card which lets him into the building then he logs onto his computer and drinks coffee from the automated coffee machine and so far he has not interacted with one human being. The electricity is controlled by automation. The water is controlled by automation. His coffee tastes like a good coffee he once remembered. He watches flat screens he watches as people war and fight and die and laugh and kill and they look like people but the screen is flat and he is not sure if they are people.Maybe they are spliced together memories. Maybe they are artefacts of a dead civilisation. Maybe they are remade artificial events to set his mind at ease with the unease of the human condition. He looks at his computer. It gives him information. It gives him all the information he wants and needs. Then he goes to get food from the store and his computer gives him suggestions whispering in his ear telling him what the best combinations of food are for his preset tastes so he buys what the computer suggests that he buys and he still has not interacted with one human being through the day. Then he pays with his card and the computers talk to one another again deep down inside their systems joining and comingling a handshake or a kiss a coupling between the digital gas that these creatures expel. Then he is at home and watching human like figures on the flat screen and he eats the food the computer suggested after it was cooked in the automated cooking system and then he lies on the bed and it soothes him to sleep with preselected music and he has not had to make one choice and he has not had to interact with one human being and he is not sure there are any more human beings left in the world but he is comatose and necrotising and in a cloud of narcotic suspension. He wakes up. He remembers is dream. Everything is automated. He is automated. He is an automaton. He hibernates.
Another Day.
Waking
Writing
Weighing
Drinking
Talking
Cooking
Cleaning
Showering
Dressing
Tidying
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Sitting
Reading
Walking
Photographing
Standing
Sitting
Talking
Declaiming
Questioning
Asking
Eating
Drinking
Defecating
Drawing
Editing
Publishing
Reading
Watching
Snoozing
Eating
Drinking
Pissing
Guffawing
Mourning
Revealing
Eating
Drinking
Urinating
Walking
Eating
Sitting
Editing
Eating
Another Day.
Waking
Writing
Weighing
Drinking
Talking
Cooking
Cleaning
Showering
Dressing
Tidying
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Sitting
Reading
Walking
Photographing
Standing
Sitting
Talking
Declaiming
Questioning
Asking
Eating
Drinking
Defecating
Drawing
Editing
Publishing
Reading
Watching
Snoozing
Eating
Drinking
Pissing
Guffawing
Mourning
Revealing
Eating
Drinking
Urinating
Walking
Eating
Sitting
Editing
Eating
Another Day.
Waking
Writing
Weighing
Drinking
Talking
Cooking
Cleaning
Showering
Dressing
Tidying
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Sitting
Reading
Walking
Photographing
Standing
Sitting
Talking
Declaiming
Questioning
Asking
Eating
Drinking
Defecating
Drawing
Editing
Publishing
Reading
Watching
Snoozing
Eating
Drinking
Pissing
Guffawing
Mourning
Revealing
Eating
Drinking
Urinating
Walking
Eating
Sitting
Editing
Eating
Pressing
Walking
Sitting
Pooping
Talking
Laughing
Crying
Watching
Undressing
Brushing
Dressing
Lying
Thinking
Laughing
Cuddling
Sleeping
Gerunding
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He writes some of his wonderful hit novel that will sell millions. He makes breakfast. He uses the egg shapers. It is a delight to use the egg shapers. He cooks the sausage patties. He heats the breakfast biscuits. He combines everything and puts it under a cloche. He feeds the cat. The cat is as grateful and forgetful of it’s gratitude as ever. As is expected. He watches the television. He records CitizenFour. He does not watch it. Will he be put on a list if he watches it? He is probably on that list already. He watches Mad Men. He watches House of Cards. He watches Knights of Sidonia. He reads about the 100 years War. He reads about the creation of the Modern World. He reads about the difficulty in translating a work of literature into another language. He exhausts himself playing Wii fit. They bake some cookies that are tasty. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There were no dreams again. A black hole where his dreams should be. He watches Keenan Thompson shivering in a shirt in the rain. He watches Andy Samberg gurning into the camera with his large mouth. Andy Samberg will one day eat the camera but it will be funny and everyone will laugh and Andy Samberg will look confused but in an endearing way which will make his fans love him all the more. Dr. Dre is doing very well for himself. He is very rich. Even though Apple took his company bought it and then crushed it. Such is capitalism. Expansion and destruction. There is more bombing. There is more war that isn’t called war. Everyone knows that it’s war but no one calls it war because the leaders have decided not to call it war. It is amusing and it is sad. There is talk of politics and ESPN and the NFL and power and wealth. There is a toad on the rain wet driveway. The toad is not moving. It may be crushed by a car later in the day. The rain bounces of it’s back. He drinks a coffee. He thinks about Love and Sadness and the Penumbra of Death that halos every living thing. There is waiting. There are many maps spread out over the large tables. Neat lines drawn hid the chaos. The orderly geometry hides the chaos. Except the chaos is not hidden. It struts round in plain sight daring anyone who cares to stare it direct in it’s blackhole eyes. It has many eyes. The NFL is losing the optical war but it doesn’t care because it makes a lot of money. There are loans to be paid. There are debts to be paid. He reads writing advice from David Mitchell. It includes the advice that writing is a good thing to do if one wants to be a writer. This is good advice. He tries to take it. He is told to take things for granted. That the is oil. That there is no oil. That there are genetic manipulation booths. That asexual human reproduction is normal or it will be or it was that the comedian is the vampire owl of the art world. There are bowed heads. It is morning but already people are weighed down by the day. There are turncoats hidden everywhere. The French won The War of Independence. David Hasslehoff brought down the Berlin Wall and ended the cold war. Pharrell Williams bring Iran into the fold of Western Hegemony. King Pharrell. Pope Pharrell. Emporer Pharrell. A silver fox is caught for funneling school children into a prison system that he made with a friend. He is sent to a prison but the system remains the system is vibrant and alive he was a necessary sacrifice a bad actor a bad apple a one in a million nothing to see here move along no problem with the old white haired men the criminals who legalize their crimes the villians who make the rules for themselves and the rules for everyone else. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is more bombing. Is it legal? No one seems to care. He is offered a new phone. It looks like it’s from the future. He writes words and words and words. He watches more Elementary. He watches even more Elementary. He eats good food. He enjoys good company. He plays Tiny Death Star. He downloads Memrise language learning and promises himself that this time he will become fluent. He gets on the bus but his pass doesn’t work. The driver is kind and lets him sit. He eats meat. He eats fruit. He drinks five coffees. He watches Obama talk at the UN. The Primeminister of Britain says that the Queen purred down the phone to him. Is the new Queen of England Eartha Kitt? He hopes that the new Queen of England is Earth Kitt. Everything is wonderful and everything is hopeless. There is no script. There is no prompt. There is in a dark cave somewhere hope barely alive but struggling towards the light. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He is inside a horrendous political commercial full of loss and hate and barely disguised threats of rape and murder and corruption. He is a plate on the wall of the commercial watching the actors perform their lines. There is sport in forgetting the horrors. We are born in violence in the crucible of the powerful. The dead and the dying are the mulch for all tomorrows parties. The stars of sport jackhammer their fists into the faces of their lovers. A woman commits suicide by climbing into a crocodile pit. She takes off her shoes first. She loved her shoes and did not want them to be ruined by the prehistoric beasts. Who will get to keep the shoes afterwards. Will her relatives keep them in a box, uncleaned, perhaps a grass scuff on one corner from where she slipped them off on the wet ground. He reads about the Criminals of Wall Street and their desperate and ultimately successful attempts to save their kingdoms but not without first sacrificing some of their own. These perfidious knights see themselves as heroes even as the world is sickened by their villainy. He eats fried rice. He drinks coffee. He watches a talk that took place the day before the large climate change walk in New York. The speakers are Chris Hedges, Naomi Klein, Bill McKibben, Brian Lehrer, Kshama Sawant and Bernie Sanders. As Senator Bernard speaks protesters put up a cloth decrying Saunders voting for the bombing of Gaza. There is awkward murmuring. The audience is mostly white. He is happy when a bearded man stands up at the end and says he is sad that there are not more brothers and sisters of colour. The leader of the movement Bill Mckibben does not acknowledge this but deflects it as he tells the questioner to look outside tomorrow and to look at those at the frontline of the climate debate but he does not engage with the truth of the questioner at that particular moment. America and secret allies start bombing Syria around 830 eastern time. This is half an hour in to The Voice. Someone is singing their heart out as enormous missiles smash into buildings as incredibly powerful ordnance cremates numberless human beings. The new acts are pretty good. Everyone trusts that no civilians are targeted. He feels sick. There is no criticism, no questioning. The Forever War. The Endless War. The Neverending War. Whatever it is called it is a hydra. Each war begetting a new war. Each murder creating two new murderers. And on and on and on. He watches Elementary. He eats food. He enjoys The Blacklist. It is utterly ridiculous. He snuggles. Obama is the War President. That Nobel Prize for peace must be in the attic of the White House slowly decaying into a puddle of shame. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is a stench in the air. The stench of a Presidential Race. It is faint but unmistakable. Even as the US Midterms roll up over the horizon they are a sideshow to the main circus. He can see the tent-poles being set in the distance. He can feel the acrid reek in his nostrils already. It will not be pleasant but it will be fascinating. The Theater of Democracy. The Lie of Freedom. The Illusion of Choice. Scotland has said no cowed by the overbearing power elite cowed by fear cowed by cows cow lowing in the fields eating grass and producing tasty milk and burgers. He tries to plan. He succeeds. He fails. He makes a coffee. He eats some breakfast. The pancakes for breakfast are tasty pancakes. He ponders the future. He reads Pliny the Elder. He reads Too Big To Fail. All the criminals are here. They are all described in detail. Their actions and justifications are clear to see on the page. Bernie Madoff is their scapegoat. There are bigger problems. There is a climate march in New York City. Lots of people attend. Just like the March against the War in Iraq just like the March against the War in Iraq. Just like the March against the War in Vietnam. What do marches do except give the authorities the opportunity to observe the trouble makers and the peaceniks. To collate and photograph and store the information of the rebels, the subversives, the Anti-Americans ready to come to your door to take away your freedom and your toaster stroodles and your playstation 4 and your Xbox 1 and your America’s Got Talent Voting rights. He fills boxes with books. He tries on his dainty new cock ring. It smarts. He has made a terrible mistake. Then he gets used to it. He likens it to the cilice from The DaVinci Code but not as unpleasant. There are many unpleasant things in the world. Human beings are sad hopeful creatures. He is one of them. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Blah, blah, fucking blah. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He wakes up too early. His alarm goes off and he wakes from a dream of Scottish Independence and dancing a jig but then he realises his alarm went off too early and he doesn’t know why he is dancing a jig because he can’t vote and he doesn’t know how he would vote because he keeps changing his mind but it looks like someone is going to win. Somewhere an otter eats a fish. Somewhere else a deer looks off into the distance as it hears a noise. John Kerry is talking to Congress again. The ladies in Pink are standing behind him again. There are signs. Bored looking members of Congress ask questions. They all look like they want to be playing golf with fundraisers at their high walled golf clubs. He watches a trailer for Fury. He wonders at the constant refrain of the brave little Americans fighting the gargantuan enemy when the truth is that America is gargantuan and the enemy of America is always little. There is no terror in that or profit in that or shame in that. There is shame in that. Shame is everywhere. He reads Waiting for Godot. GODot. godOT. A magician wins America’s Got Talent. Will he magic away the financial crises, the military crises, the crisis crises? He will not but he does seem to be good with his hands and he has a sincere to the point of mania Tom Cruise smile. He draws, he plots, he schemes. He sleeps.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is coffee. He is talking with an old lady about her manipulative grandchildren who know all the codes who have thousands of dollars in their bank accounts whose ages change from 8 to 10 to 19 to 18 depending on when he asks questions about them. He dreams about prostitutes who have all become fashion consultants. There is no more to the dream than that. He watches an interview with Eddy Conway ex of the Black Panthers. He watches a course on learning well. He procrastinates. He learns nothing from the course. He eats half a burger. He trims his prodigious beard. He cannot understand America without understanding race. He cannot understand the world without understanding race. He dreams about people who do not have eyes but have paintbrush bristles where there eyes should be an no other features but that their faces smooth polished variegated wood their bodies entirely ordinary just their faces wooden and flat and their eyes tight paintbrush bristles they seem entirely okay with this state of affairs. There is no war just dropping bombs there is no war just talk of boots on the ground there is no conflict or war just targeted killings and advisors and regurgitated humanity spoiling in a heap. There is no war but there will be boots on the ground but there won’t be boots on the ground this is not a war this is not a war this is not a war. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside.…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He hears that there has been another decapitation. This time is is a British man. Next time there will be another British man. Then there will be more lined up heads rolling down the hill and soon decapitations will not make headlines because there will be so many of them. Then he makes some brownies. Then he eats some sushi. Then he walks. Then he lies down. There is rain outside. It is coming down from the sky. There are clouds full of rain. There are clouds full of tears. Never trust a clown. He eats a tasty burger. He creates a fictional home in a digital town by the sea and spends too much time making the living room look just perfect when he doesn’t own a house in real life. He eats some lemon crunch pie. His digital avatar eats some lemon crunch pie. There is something terrible and sad about this. He forgets what happened during the rest of the day. His mind is a creamy white amnesiac cloud. He goes to sleep hoping that he will remember what he has forgotten and forget what he keeps remembering.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. President Obama has gone Liam Neeson on IS or ISIL or ISIS or whatever the gang of desert ne’er do wells are called. He is not sure that President Obama believes anything he says publicly anymore but he’s saying it he saying it again and again. He watches as the fear of ISIS grows and grows and grows and the news stories talk about the growing fears even as the CIA says again and again that there are no credible threats and when the CIA say there are no credible threats there are probably no credible threats because the CIA love having credible threats to get their black ops money for and are always willing to talk about threats so even if they don’t think that they are a threat then are they a threat. He does not know. Then he gets angry because Cecily Strong is being kicked off Weekend Update because no one wants to kick the White coiffed head writer off Weekend Update because the white man always wins even though her replacement is the excellent Michael Che but why not have Michael Che and Cecily Strong is it because Lorne Michaels thinks that America is not ready for a black man and a white woman to appear together on live television doing comedy together week in and week out is america still terrified of a black man and a white woman making comedy together is this where we are have we not moved on he thinks to himself. Then he plans his lunch. Then he goes to the gym. Then he showers. Then he wonders if Ted Cruz’s strange argument that Lorne Michaels could be in prison for satire if a law limiting Citizens United comes into affect is a real argument or if Senator Ted Cruz is actually an apolitical performance artist who managed to get elected with grant money from a billionaires art foundation. It is a hot muggy night. He sits in Wholefoods and joins the other hairy homeless men in the pot plants and the dirty tables. He holds hands. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. Trembling muscles dripping off bone. He farts what feels like his body volume in gas. His alarm goes of too early. He is fat. He is fatter than he has ever been. The bus is on time. He gets on the bus. Two people in front of him fiddle with money and change and it annoys him that they knew that they did not have passes but did not think that it was required of them to wait until all those who had passes to get on the bus first so that they could get seats like him so he could get a seat he finally gets a seat. He keeps his anger inside. He buys some granola bars. He buys a sandwich. He does not by a Jimmy Dean Breakfast Biscuit. He marks this as a rare triumph in a day which will not have many victories. He gets sucked back into Facebook. He drinks too much coffee. He eats a sandwich. He buys some smoothies and puts them in the fridge. He eats lentils which taste like glorious meat and roasted cauliflower which tastes like magic. Stephen Colbert will gurn around with Henry Kissinger tonight and his heart will die a little and he will lose a little more respect for Stephen Colbert. It is the day of the towers falling it is the day of a country backed turned over to a dictator who manipulated and destroyed his people with the Chicago Boys and Kissinger looming and death squads and disappearances and the chimneys spewing people and death and sadness and the clouds formed and burrowed and the igition of the 21st century the pilot light that sparked the fire the engulfed the world that killed an Empire that doesn’t know it’s dead yet as a far older and larger beast slowly turns and wakes and watches. Then he tumbles down a hill tumbling tumbling tumbling and Oscar Pistorius is not guilty of murder but who knows what will happen tomorrow and there is 911 and 911 and 911 and each 911 has a different meaning and significance but they are all important and Jaws is dead and he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He watches Brian Williams rubs shafts with Matt Lauer. They spar. They spar verbally. There is tension and shark smiling. He wonders if Isis is just the ASL ice bucket challenge gone horribly wrong. Nominations for Saladin, Ishmael and Frank-n-Furter. George W Bush and Bill Clinton are now best friends. He is sick in his mouth. Power accretes power. An NFP football player is…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He watches Brian Williams rubs shafts with Matt Lauer. They spar. They spar verbally. There is tension and shark smiling. He wonders if Isis is just the ASL ice bucket challenge gone horribly wrong. Nominations for Saladin, Ishmael and Frank-n-Furter. George W Bush and Bill Clinton are now best friends. He is sick in his mouth. Power accretes power. An NFP football player is…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He watches Brian Williams rubs shafts with Matt Lauer. They spar. They spar verbally. There is tension and shark smiling. He wonders if Isis is just the ASL ice bucket challenge gone horribly wrong. Nominations for Saladin, Ishmael and Frank-n-Furter. George W Bush and Bill Clinton are now best friends. He is sick in his mouth. Power accretes power. An NFP football player is suspended when a video appears of him punching his fiancee. Even though they knew he did it he only got two game suspension because they hadn’t seen it. A reflection of what is important. Money, profit, optics. The optics are wrong. No matter the ethics no matter the morality. At least Mel Brooks is still alive. They didn’t see it. So it doesn’t exist. He didn’t see the moon landings so they can’t be real. He didn’t see his own birth so he didn’t believe it. He didn’t see the bus arrive so he doesn’t believe that it got here. He didn’t see the formation of the continents so he does not believe that they exist. He cannot see oxygen so he is not sure that he is breathing it. He has never seen the earth from space so he doesn’t believe the world is a sphere zipping through space. He watches food commercials he watches car commercials. All using fear and doubt. Be afraid America. Be afraid. Stop thinking America don’t worry that your heroes are weak tired hypocrits. Liars and cheaters and brutish billionaires. Better than Hippo Crits. River creatures reviewing popular culture. Maybe not better than Hippo Crits. He watches Simon Critchley and Cornell West talking. They are talking about religion and violence. He listens to John Pilger. He listens to Noam Chomsky. It is one of those kinds of days. Richard Branson is an odd looking man. Sometimes it’s okay to give up your dreams. You won’t die. The Queen of the United kingdom is worried about Scotland. The economist Paul Krugman is worried about Scotland. This maybe the only time they will be worried about the same thing. He thinks more about an idea he has. He thinks that it is a good idea and the he thinks it’s a bad idea. He is undecided. Angry atheists make him sad. Happy Christians make him cringe. He listens to Cspan. It is both uplifting and depressing. Imaginary People think Obama is a Child Eating Muslim Jewish Atheist Christian Kenyan Communist Socialist. These people have access to the same information as everyone else and also the right to vote. The anniversary of 911 is approaching. The day that Pinochet stole Chile and also the day that planes hit the twin towers in New York and today is Zeinab Badawi interogating John Mccain by the lake that Amidala and Anakin Skywalker fell in love. Today is Scotland divorcing itself from Britain as Britain first acts like a violent lover bullying Scotland to stay with threats and violence and then begging Scotland to stay with gifts and bouquets of power it all looks very embarassing and no one has really planned for the split. Then he eats some rice it is a lot of rice and it has vegetables with it and also tomato sauce and he finds a bag of almonds and he books a flight to London and London terrifies him already he hears the pulsing wet beat of it’s corrupt blackened heart in his ears as he feels himself being sucked back into the pit the comforting embrace of the oily pit. Then he plays Tiny Death Star. It is an awful game that has no other point than to teach children that the most soulless parts of capitalism are compelling and entertaining taught through the lens of the Star Wars universe. He is hopelessly addicted to it and then he watches America’s Got Talent and the sound disappears for the last act so only atmospheric cheering can be heard. It is like watching television in a dream and then he cuddles and then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. When he went to sleep there was no caliphate. There no chance that there was going to be an independent Scotland. There was no new royal baby in Britain ready to carry on the democratic bloodline of the German Royal Family. He wakes up unaware of all of these things. The plane that crashed in the ocean is still missing and Robin Williams is dead and Joan Rivers is dead and lots of…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. When he went to sleep there was no caliphate. There no chance that there was going to be an independent Scotland. There was no new royal baby in Britain ready to carry on the democratic bloodline of the German Royal Family. He wakes up unaware of all of these things. The plane that crashed in the ocean is still missing and Robin Williams is dead and Joan Rivers is dead and lots of…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. When he went to sleep there was no caliphate. There no chance that there was going to be an independent Scotland. There was no new royal baby in Britain ready to carry on the democratic bloodline of the German Royal Family. He wakes up unaware of all of these things. The plane that crashed in the ocean is still missing and Robin Williams is dead and Joan Rivers is dead and lots of other people are dead but they aren’t famous. He wonders if waking up is ever worth it. He decides it is but he goes back to sleep anyway.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The world is not going well. There is lots of violence. Someone stands up for gentrification without thinking about what that might mean why it might be better to help those communities with their problems rather than price them out of their homes and their lives so that rich white people can enjoy atmosphere ambience authenticity at jacked up prices the prison is being crushed…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The world is not going well. There is lots of violence. Someone stands up for gentrification without thinking about what that might mean why it might be better to help those communities with their problems rather than price them out of their homes and their lives so that rich white people can enjoy atmosphere ambience authenticity at jacked up prices the prison is being crushed…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The world is not going well. There is lots of violence. Someone stands up for gentrification without thinking about what that might mean why it might be better to help those communities with their problems rather than price them out of their homes and their lives so that rich white people can enjoy atmosphere ambience authenticity at jacked up prices the prison is being crushed schools crushed the slow creeping inevitability of colonisation colonization soon they will all be gone and dust and forgotten and a sad story in the endnote of a book that no one reads in a library that is on fire. Then he plays Tiny Death Star which is very cute but bespeaks the joys of a totalitarian capitalocracy underpinned with violence and surveillance. It’s insidious message is not missed by him but he just can’t stop playing it. Elsewhere a city crumbles. Somewhere else talking heads bob and weave and duck and dive. In yet still other places someone is masturbating to a picture they found in a puddle. There is excrement everywhere. Someone is wearing a pair of wellington boots. Other people don’t know what wellington boots are. Someone stubs their toe. Someone else is decapitated. He reads Bossypants by Tina Fey. It is hilarious. He reads it out loud and laughs aloud. He rants about an app that encourages mariginalisation of people of color. He rants about a white supremacist technocracy. He has a nap. He rants about those who can’t see the problems with gentrification. He rants. He rents. He runts. He grunts. He tires and eats a pizza and has a glass of elderflower cider. It is tasty. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He smells like a homeless person. What has he missed? Has anything important happened? He doesn’t remember where he was. Perhaps in a wooded glade. A desert. On a train bound for glory. He shrugs his shoulders and thinks about showering. He goes to look for a shower. He finds somewhere to lie down. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. A journalist rummaged through the luggage of dead people. It disgusts people even though it is what journalists do every day. A tacit agreement we have with them that we get to read what they write about tragedy as long as wet don’t have to be complicit in how they discover that tragedy. It was to much for us. We do not want to see how the sausage is made. The Senate votes to support…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. A journalist rummaged through the luggage of dead people. It disgusts people even though it is what journalists do every day. A tacit agreement we have with them that we get to read what they write about tragedy as long as wet don’t have to be complicit in how they discover that tragedy. It was to much for us. We do not want to see how the sausage is made. The Senate votes to support…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. A journalist rummaged through the luggage of dead people. It disgusts people even though it is what journalists do every day. A tacit agreement we have with them that we get to read what they write about tragedy as long as we don’t have to be complicit in how they discover that tragedy. It was too much for us. We do not want to see how the sausage is made. The Senate votes to support bombardment of Gaza. Even the progressive heroes of the left. Children shields? No one cares. An excuse to flex anti-Semitic muscles on one hand an excuse to shake heads at the horror of civilian death on the other. Then there are all the other hands begging reaching grasping. This is what nation states do to perceived enemies. They expunge they delete they bleach it is wrong it has been done before it will be done again the lodz ghetto is now the Gaza refugee camp will be the Detroit forbidden zone will be the Birmingham prison city. Grind your families into paste we will all be Soylent Green one day. The clown of international law raises its buffoonish head above the parapet and is exploded by a sniper’s bullet but it’s okay folks that was just a balloon full of ketchup with a clown face drawn on it international law is safe and sound in an undisclosed bunker ready to be used by those with the most power as and when it suits them. He drinks a chai. He is in a library surrounded by books. It is pleasant. He reads that 66% of Americans now live in places that are not covered by the constitution which seems like a lot of Americans. Everyone is not the slug on the razor blade but more and more are joining it slowly slicing itself as it inches forward slowly splitting in two. He writes. He travels on public transport. He eats a tasty black bean burger. He shuts off from news. Objective news is shut off. He travels into another world. A place of giants and vikings. The end of the world. All the gods are dead. It is melancholy. Tribes wandering in the icy wastes the dry deserts the lush jungles. All lost. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up from not sleeping. He switches on al jazeera. He reads debt by David graeber. He reads more Proust. He reads the Federalist papers. He reads the anti federalist papers. He reads the fiery brook. He finishes a chapter of his novel. Thisis surprising. He eats soup. He drinks coffee. He watches tutorial videos for AutoCAD 3d studio. He has a shower. There is no milk for cereal. He is the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up from not sleeping. He switches on al jazeera. He reads debt by David graeber. He reads more Proust. He reads the Federalist papers. He reads the anti federalist papers. He reads the fiery brook. He finishes a chapter of his novel. Thisis surprising. He eats soup. He drinks coffee. He watches tutorial videos for AutoCAD 3d studio. He has a shower. There is no milk for cereal. He is the…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up from not sleeping. He switches on al jazeera. He reads debt by David graeber. He reads more Proust. He reads the Federalist papers. He reads the anti federalist papers. He reads the fiery brook. He finishes a chapter of his novel. Thisis surprising. He eats soup. He drinks coffee. He watches tutorial videos for AutoCAD 3d studio. He has a shower. There is no milk for cereal. He is the only person, except for the driver, on the bus. He wonders if he can put a campaign on kickstarter for him to jump a shark. Perhaps funding the potato salad is the internet funding equivalent of jumping the shark so his point has already been made. Zach Braff gets more space than Nadine Gordimer in the newspaper that he finds on the bus. He finds this ridiculous but then he acknowledges that he is more familiar with the work of Zach Braff than the work of Nadine Gordimer. The Germans celebrate their world cup win. David hasslehof is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they are saving him for the big finale. They are not saving him for the big finale. The German team appears to start the YMCA dance then it devolves into something less choreographed but no less sincere. Someone talks about an awning idea kit on the television. How many ideas can there be in an awning idea kit. Use as awning. Wrap evidence in and bury in the woods at night. Wipe up blood in. Cower under. use as awning. You get it free when you buy an awning. It doesn’t seem like anyone could reasonably charge for an awning idea kit. Many hoops are jumped through contortions are made to justify the massacre of human beings. Children dying on the beach human shields for sand for boats for fishermen. He sees the future and it falls away into the darkness of the void the edge of the cliff crumbling like dry bread under his feet. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. There is no news. There is news but he doesn’t read it so he pretends there is no news. He drinks a coffee. He writes words. He praises. He questions. He tries to reason and he eats some soup. He looks at the storm outside and is happy that he is inside protected by the house that he is inside. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He falls. He gets up. He dawdles. He watches a Comcast commercial that tries to hide the fact that is against net neutrality. It will probably succeed. He eats an empanada. It is a good empanada. He feels tremendous twisting sadness. He archives important art. He feels old. He reads about art. He worries about his mental health. He is invited to an artists’ retreat. He cannot go but he is excited to be invited. He eats Brown rice. He talks with friends even as he feels the distance growing between them. He finishes things and then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. Savannah Guthrie is pregnant. She should host Meet the Press. He has a coffee and some cereal. He talks to a friend. They share righteous anger about the world. He sees an empty cigar case by the bus stop and thinks simultaneously of the cigar he often smokes with a brandy or a whiskey or some other unremembered liquor on New Years Eve and bill Clinton and Monica…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. Savannah Guthrie is pregnant. She should host Meet the Press. He has a coffee and some cereal. He talks to a friend. They share righteous anger about the world. He sees an empty cigar case by the bus stop and thinks simultaneously of the cigar he often smokes with a brandy or a whiskey or some other unremembered liquor on New Years Eve and bill Clinton and Monica…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. It is early. Savannah Guthrie is pregnant. She should host Meet the Press. He has a coffee and some cereal. He talks to a friend. They share righteous anger about the world. He sees an empty cigar case by the bus stop and thinks simultaneously of the cigar he often smokes with a brandy or a whiskey or some other unremembered liquor on New Years Eve and bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the oval office and how that charming lecherous man ruined many parts of that young woman’s life and yet still she appears strong and funny and wise because terrible things happen but even through them life is never wholly ruined just reshaped and tattered round it’s once pristine edges. A man leaves an envelope on the bus. He may have just got out of jail and the letter may be important. He calls after the man and gives him his letter. The man says thank you as he leaves the bus. It is a good feeling to be thanked by a stranger for a small kindness. He sits on the train and sees and old man with a wrist brace. He gets into an elevator with a man who is wearing moccasins threequarter length shorts and a fedora. He judges him and finds him wanting whilst also being envious of his confidence to be sartorially ridiculous. He had that once but now he has lost that. He goes to the baseball. It is hot. It is humid. Seats are sat in. Then it starts to rain and so begins the second level of hell. Food is purchased and then the shambling damned are watched with pity as they walk round and round in circles forever and no decision is made but that these people will continue to buy food and drink and ponchos and increase the profit of the stadium for another day because the rain keeps on coming down and forever passes by and a gap appears in the mass and it is entered but then it swallows them and they are trapped no with the damned shuffling forever wishing they had never left their comfortable spot by the pillar but now they are part of the behemoth limbed ocean of humanity that sludges by weeping and gnashing without food without water without beer without poncho and still the rain falls and still no decision is made and then the decide themselves and assert their ability to choose and spear their way out of the crowd and escape and barrel towards the exit thrusting creatures aside and carving them asunder as they finally escape into the balm of the rain and yet they find themselves abandoned by transport and still hopeless and lost and then a shining beacon of hope arrives on a chariot and they get in the chariot and go home and sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The elevator sounds like a penny whistle. It penny whistles down. He reads more Octavia Butler. He thinks about teeth. He thinks about whales. He thinks about royal families. He thinks about accidentally downloading a film from a dubious source and then getting a worried email from his landlord about a letter that he received from Verizon concerning illegal downloading. He is going…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The elevator sounds like a penny whistle. It penny whistles down. He reads more Octavia Butler. He thinks about teeth. He thinks about whales. He thinks about royal families. He thinks about accidentally downloading a film from a dubious source and then getting a worried email from his landlord about a letter that he received from Verizon concerning illegal downloading. He is going…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. The elevator sounds like a penny whistle. It penny whistles down. He reads more Octavia Butler. He thinks about teeth. He thinks about whales. He thinks about royal families. He thinks about accidentally downloading a film from a dubious source and then getting a worried email from his landlord about a letter that he received from Verizon concerning illegal downloading. He is going to be sent to federal prison for watching Divergent illegally. He is scared. The air conditioning does not work. He is sweating motionless on the bed beads of sweat writing on his body weighing his body down. He has a coffee. He has an an erection. He has a thought. He takes food for lunch. He looks forward to pulled pork empanadas. He doesn’t have to wait long for the bus. He arrived at work. His mug has gone his Orioles mug has gone some muggerfucker has stolen it he is irritated and he searches prowls the desks for his treasured Orioles mug but he cannot find it he cannot find his mug anywhere no matter how hard he searches he returns to his grotto defeated. He is remembering things in the wrong order. He imagined Proust never had this problem. He eats lunch. He works. He works quite hard. It is not hard work. He smiles at the Scotland uniform for the commonwealth games. It looks like a drunk rainbow has vomited on the team. It is amazing. He can’t look away. He is mesmerized. He goes to the gym. His muscles ache in a pleasant way. Afterwards he positions himself under a light in the changing room and tenses his muscles. The angle of the light casts sharp relief on his body and he looks very toned. He is not very toned and he knows this but he enjoys the fantasy as he stands under the light tensing into the mirror then he hears the door to the changing room open so he quickly grabs a towel and rushes into the shower he does not want to be found nude by a colleague creating poses in a changing room mirror even under complimentary lighting. It is hot and humid outside. He is not late for the train. He times the train perfectly. He is on the train. He is aiming directly for his bed. He will eat his carrot spinach kale soup which is far tastier than it has any right to be. It has every right to be tasty. He stops arguing with his taste buds and just lets the pleasure wash over him. He reads. He writes. He cogitates. He drinks coffee. He watches msnbc. He watches fox news. He watches cnn. He ignores the throbbing at the back of the head that watching these three things does. Then he cannot ignore it so he turns the television off. He reads about the death of the novel the death of the literary novel and the phoenix rising of the self-published fan fiction extravaganza. He thinks about getting a haircut. He needs to get a haircut. His hair is too long. He ponders over a conversation he overheard at work. He self-flagellates about an error at work that could have been solved, by him, days ago, but he let it go and then it got out of control. Then he gets over it because no one died. Then he watches a trailer for Dawn of the Apes. Hollywood does love Apocalypse. Hollywood does have contempt for the masses for the people venerating the strong leader the benevolent fascist the Strong Man the cowardly huddle mass begging for leadership and direction. Not a democratic view of the world. He does not know what that means or what to make of it. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He follows an old man who leans on a cane. The old man is wearing a tshirt. Written On the back of the Tshirt is ‘Still porkin’ after all these years.’ The inclusion of the apostrophe gives a jaunty feel to an old man publicly declaring that he still fucks regularly. The man has white hair and a beard like summertime Father Christmas. The supreme court respects the religious rights…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He follows an old man who leans on a cane. The old man is wearing a tshirt. Written On the back of the Tshirt is ‘Still porkin’ after all these years.’ The inclusion of the apostrophe gives a jaunty feel to an old man publicly declaring that he still fucks regularly. The man has white hair and a beard like summertime Father Christmas. The supreme court respects the religious rights…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He follows an old man who leans on a cane. The old man is wearing a tshirt. Written On the back of the Tshirt is ‘Still porkin’ after all these years.’ The inclusion of the apostrophe gives a jaunty feel to an old man publicly declaring that he still fucks regularly. The man has white hair and a beard like summertime Father Christmas. The supreme court respects the religious rights of incorporeal persons over the rights of corporeal persons. The Juggernaut to corporate theocracy continues happily onward. He wonders if religio-conservative America would be okay with a Muslim family running a successful company and then applying moderate sharia law to their employees. He thinks religio-conservative America might not like that not one bit at all. He eats some dates. He eats some almonds. He waits for the bus. A very old small lady walks very slowly into the bus. The old lady pays with a lot of change each coin coming into the coin collector as the great from outside gold the bus the site conditioning pushing against the wall of heat so hot already in the hot humid morning. A man has eyes everywhere. A woman did on her electric chair observing the passengers enter. A man reads a broad sheet he purchased from a vending machine. This is a rare occurrence it is not an app or a website or a free bus newspaper handed out by at a loss by friendly people at bus stops. He watches the USA get defeated by Belgium in the world cup and then marvels that America manages to call it a victory which it cannot be if the definition of victory is being used in an accurate way. Someone says that the underdog US team comes back the top dog but this is to misunderstand what top dog means. The US team was defeated and they lost and that is okay the taste of failure is not a pleasant one but it is a common one and he thinks it is sad that it has got to the point where a media psychosis exists that does not allow for the acknowledgment of American defeat. As with soccer so with armed conflict and hegemony. Nothing can be learned from the denial of defeat. It only covers the festering injury with another bloody bandage when what is really needed is a painful cleaning and redressing of the wound so that healing can be completed. He ponders this as he watches America’s Got Talent and observes more honesty in that show than in Congress and that to makes him pause and think but he reaches no firm conclusions other than they are probably all on the same continuum and the sliding scale of perception will art some point squeeze them all together. He goes to sleep. .
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He was asleep. Now is he awake. His brittle bones are softening after bikram yoga. His aching body is aching in a good way. He eats a salad. He presses some buttons. He watches a woman eat a hundred dollar ice cream. He is tempted by a burrito he finds on a bus. It has only been bitten once. It would be free supper. Earlier in the day he eats a sandwich and has a coffee. He thinks…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He was asleep. Now is he awake. His brittle bones are softening after bikram yoga. His aching body is aching in a good way. He eats a salad. He presses some buttons. He watches a woman eat a hundred dollar ice cream. He is tempted by a burrito he finds on a bus. It has only been bitten once. It would be free supper. Earlier in the day he eats a sandwich and has a coffee. He thinks…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He was asleep. Now is he awake. His brittle bones are softening after bikram yoga. His aching body is aching in a good way. He eats a salad. He presses some buttons. He watches a woman eat a hundred dollar ice cream. He is tempted by a burrito he finds on a bus. It has only been bitten once. It would be free supper. Earlier in the day he eats a sandwich and has a coffee. He thinks about making some soup but he doesn’t make any soup. The Caliphate seems to be spreading over Iraq and Syria. Everyone is learning about the Sykes-Picot Agreement. He learns more about the pirate origins of the British Empire – all open out in the history books that nobody reads. The President of America makes a joke about crack. His wife is not impressed. He presses some more buttons. He takes some photographs. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He was up until 2 in the morning looking for silver to dig up with his copper pickaxe. He found iron and copper and gold but no silver no silver anywhere. He was attacked by creatures. Then he hid in a cave barely protected from the acid rain. So now he is slumped at his desk at work not hiding from acid rain but hiding from work. He takes photographs of soccer fans. They look just…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He was up until 2 in the morning looking for silver to dig up with his copper pickaxe. He found iron and copper and gold but no silver no silver anywhere. He was attacked by creatures. Then he hid in a cave barely protected from the acid rain. So now he is slumped at his desk at work not hiding from acid rain but hiding from work. He takes photographs of soccer fans. They look just…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He was up until 2 in the morning looking for silver to dig up with his copper pickaxe. He found iron and copper and gold but no silver no silver anywhere. He was attacked by creatures. Then he hid in a cave barely protected from the acid rain. He is 37 years old. He should not be doing this. So now he is slumped at his desk at work not hiding from acid rain but hiding from work. He takes photographs of soccer fans. They look just like football fans but they are all American and there are some Germans too. Then he eats some spinach. Then he saves himself for a tasty burger and a date which was worth the rumbling belly and the fluttering heart and then he goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up the muzzy taste of beer in his mouth. It was only a quarter of a small bottle a tiny bottle. He farts he showers he farts he makes a coffee eats shredded crispy cereal. He waits for two buses that never arrive but a third arrives that he wasn’t expecting. He gets on that bus. He spend the day pressing things and then put in his place by a superior for no other reason than to remind…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up the muzzy taste of beer in his mouth. It was only a quarter of a small bottle a tiny bottle. He farts he showers he farts he makes a coffee eats shredded crispy cereal. He waits for two buses that never arrive but a third arrives that he wasn’t expecting. He gets on that bus. He spend the day pressing things and then put in his place by a superior for no other reason than to remind…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up the muzzy taste of beer in his mouth. It was only a quarter of a small bottle a tiny bottle. He farts he showers he farts he makes a coffee eats shredded crispy cereal. He waits for two buses that never arrive but a third arrives that he wasn’t expecting. He gets on that bus. He spend the day pressing things and then put in his place by a superior for no other reason than to remind him where power lies that he is powerless how it is exercised how easily he can be excised from the body employable. A mote floating in giant ghost cloud of everything. He sits on a train. Everyone looks sad. Everyone looks sad and tired. Everyone looks tired. Gravity is pulling down every single expression. A child adding questions to the air is the only sign of life the only sign of hope. It is enough to keep the wheel turning. He presses a lot more buttons. He is not doing his job very well but he is doing it well enough. There are no complaints so he breathes easy for at least one more day. He is not a ninja or a space pirate or a pilot or a spy or a well respected scientist or an avant garde film maker or a best selling author what happened he does not know what happened he did not have it in him it was not there with fractured memories buttering together and now he is here on the bus listening to a woman talk to someone who wants more but all she wants is emotional support because people have been stealing her meat from the communal fridge and she is having a nervous breakdown. She is distraught. It sounds overwhelming. The evening feels like a hot wet towel beating him rhythmically on the everywhere. James Franco is not a renaissance man Seth McFarlane is not a renaissance man he is not a renaissance man so perhaps there is hope that one day he too could be called a renaissance man but just so he can in a petulant fit reject the title. Oskar Schindler was a Sudetenland German. The clouds are still. The cups are still. He does not know how many times he lied today. Were there lies? Were they lies? He is not sure if professional confidence is the same as a lie if after the event he turned out to be wrong. He cooks an omelette he eats some mixed nuts. He writes he procrastinates he worries he frets he plays the piano he drinks a cold coffee he finds a torch in his bedroom. It is not his torch. He wonders who it belongs to and where it came from he wishes it were magic it is definitely not magic although it lights up the dark and that is a kind of magic he forgets what he was saying he forgets what he was writing he progresses and then he regresses. He feels the helter skelter of life. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He gets on a bus. He sees a piece of paper on a seat. He picks up the paper and reads the outside of the folded up piece of paper it reads
Hey! Read this!
on one side and
Hey you! Read this!
on the other folded side. He opens up the piece of paper and reads:
Dear friend,
I have some good news! There is someone who loves you dearly, enough to die for you. His name is Jesus Christ,…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He gets on a bus. He sees a piece of paper on a seat. He picks up the paper and reads the outside of the folded up piece of paper it reads
Hey! Read this!
on one side and
Hey you! Read this!
on the other folded side. He opens up the piece of paper and reads:
Dear friend,
I have some good news! There is someone who loves you dearly, enough to die for you. His name is Jesus Christ,…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He gets on a bus. He sees a piece of paper on a seat. He picks up the paper and reads the outside of the folded up piece of paper it reads
Hey! Read this!
on one side and
Hey you! Read this!
on the other folded side. He opens up the piece of paper and reads:
Dear friend,
I have some good news! There is someone who loves you dearly, enough to die for you. His name is Jesus Christ, and He came to pay for our sins. He overcame all of our failure and shame, and in Him we find life. No matter what pain you feel, I promise, that someone cares. I was once an atheist, and I used to cut myself. I thought about taking my own life, but then I met a friend who showed me the good news of Jesus. He promises new life, and he wants the same for you. No matter how bad you feel, no matter what you think of yourself, Jesus loves you more than you could imagine. If you have questions about faith or want to know more about Christianity, I’d encourage you to find a church. There is one that meets at — —– theater on – Street in G——–n, Sunday at 10am. God bless you and take heart! God is with us!
Love,
A brother in Christ
The writing is neat and small and written in blue pen. It seems heartfelt but he probably won’t visit the theater to meet with Jesus. He folds up the paper and puts it into his pocket where it will remain for months forgotten and spinning and dissolving in the wash. There are so many people to be saved but saved from what? Each other and themselves. He eats some spinach and some quinoa and some lentils and drinks coffee and his ideas are shut down at work and his dreams keep him going all the way to his bed. He goes to sleep there on his sleeping bed.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He remembers no dreams. He drinks coffee and eats cereal. He takes a shower. He takes the elevator. He takes the bus. He takes another elevator. He types. He writes. He drinks another coffee. He has a conversation. He applies make-up. He eats turkey meatballs and tomato sauce. They are good. They sustain him. He enjoys them. He savours them. Mouths flap about Iraq and about…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He remembers no dreams. He drinks coffee and eats cereal. He takes a shower. He takes the elevator. He takes the bus. He takes another elevator. He types. He writes. He drinks another coffee. He has a conversation. He applies make-up. He eats turkey meatballs and tomato sauce. They are good. They sustain him. He enjoys them. He savours them. Mouths flap about Iraq and about…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He remembers no dreams. He drinks coffee and eats cereal. He takes a shower. He takes the elevator. He takes the bus. He takes another elevator. He types. He writes. He drinks another coffee. He has a conversation. He applies make-up. He eats turkey meatballs and tomato sauce. They are good. They sustain him. He enjoys them. He savours them. Mouths flap about Iraq and about Afghanistan and the injustice of imprisoning journalists in Egypt but remain quiet about imprisoning lawyers in America. He gets too excited about the opening of a new Shake Shack and not energized enough about the crumbling infrastructure of the Western World. He listens to a woman channel his dead father to his half-sister. The woman doesn’t even change her voice. She should make more effort being a spirit medium she should at least do voices and lock the door of the room she is in so her son doesn’t come in and ask for a snack and close the window so that the roadworks outside aren’t overwhelming the recording and not give false hope or closure with cold reading but this is all too much to ask for and it probably will help someone somewhere life is difficult enough without letting people cope with tragedy in their own way. He walks. He stands. He sits. He waits. He reads. He walks. He cooks rice and broccoli and cauliflower and soy sauce and he eats it and he drinks water and he watches Lawrence O’Donnell return to television with a fine beard but he doesn’t listen to the words because they will be the same words as before and not bad for that reason but he is tired and he can’t think and doesn’t want to concentrate on relentless horror on the outside because he is busy enough with relentless horror on the inside. He lies down and watches sleep take him away.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He does not know why this happens. There is a loud direct voice informing him that this is a fire alarm and everyone must leave the building by the closest exit but not the elevator do not use the elevator dear God please do not use the elevator. He wakes up more. She wakes up. The cat wakes up. They try to wrestle the cat into a bag. The cat wins. The cat is not in the bag. The cat…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He does not know why this happens. There is a loud direct voice informing him that this is a fire alarm and everyone must leave the building by the closest exit but not the elevator do not use the elevator dear God please do not use the elevator. He wakes up more. She wakes up. The cat wakes up. They try to wrestle the cat into a bag. The cat wins. The cat is not in the bag. The cat…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He does not know why this happens. There is a loud direct voice informing him that this is a fire alarm and everyone must leave the building by the closest exit but not the elevator do not use the elevator dear God please do not use the elevator. He wakes up more. She wakes up. The cat wakes up. They try to wrestle the cat into a bag. The cat wins. The cat is not in the bag. The cat looks defiant. The alarm is still going. They have to leave. The cat remains. They walk down the stairs hoping it is a false alarm so as not to have a cat death car crash on their hands on his hands he does not know how she feels and he never asks. There are other pockets of people walking down the stairs. It is the middle of the night. It is raining outside. It is humid. It is entertaining to see what clothes people throw on in an emergency. Everyone looks like poorly dressed clowns. The alarm is a false alarm. Walking back up eight flights of stairs. The alarm starts again. They all pause for a moment tired and reckless they do not turn round but continue walking back to their apartments. Lying down they try to fall asleep for hours they try to fall asleep but they fail to fall asleep then they both realise they have been awake for hours and they weep and laugh with relief and with joy at their shared agony and the cat is asleep and hold no bridge at being left behind even though it turned out to be a false alarm and it would have been fine anyway but even so the cat remains magnanimous at their treachery. The cat will use it later, no doubt. They read then they sleep then the day is underway and the sun is out and the pollen count is low and the sandwiches are full of meat and the glasses are full of beer and full of lemonade and the football is entertaining and the day is a good day but for the wars and the mass incarceration and the poisons and the corruption and the fragility but these are only background noise for now they will be the main event soon enough so he ignored them until the time when he won’t vs able to ignore them anymore. He reads Rebecca Solnit. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He showers. He eats a banana. He is roasted by the sun. He imagines Tony Blair weeping in a windowless room rocking back and forth. He eats some tasty chicken and spinach. He watches headless chickens dance. They strut and they dance. He drinks a glass of water. He asks some questions. He writes some words on some paper. He sorts out his paperwork. He finds useless pieces of paper…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He showers. He eats a banana. He is roasted by the sun. He imagines Tony Blair weeping in a windowless room rocking back and forth. He eats some tasty chicken and spinach. He watches headless chickens dance. They strut and they dance. He drinks a glass of water. He asks some questions. He writes some words on some paper. He sorts out his paperwork. He finds useless pieces of paper…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He showers. He eats a banana. He is roasted by the sun. He imagines Tony Blair weeping in a windowless room rocking back and forth. He eats some tasty chicken and spinach. He watches headless chickens dance. They strut and they dance. He drinks a glass of water. He asks some questions. He writes some words on some paper. He sorts out his paperwork. He finds useless pieces of paper but he keeps them just in case he might need them in the future. He remonstrates with the fridge. He repeats some of these actions. He fills a red pepper with rice and spinach and kale and hot sauce. He roasts the red pepper but even that and the hot sauce will not dampen down the taste of kale. Kale cuts through everything. The air is boiling outside. So hot is refracts the air and everything is seen as through satin stockings. He reads some Robert Bellah and the civil religion of America. The cult of America. He reads about the late Victorian Holocaust watches Thomas Piketty in a debate on British Television Jeremy Paxman cycling on a bicycle with the Mayor of London all jolly boys together at the same clubs at the same schools colleges picnics artificial debate illusion of dissent he tries to build a house on a purple planet that rains poison green liquid at regular intervals. Some of the creatures are trying to kill him but he has a large sword and a natty bow and arrow. He needs to find silver so he can create a beacon to escape the planet. He cannot find any silver. He has been searching for a long time. He is tired. He looks at his laundry go round and round and round in the dryer. He falls asleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He sees stains on his chair. He does not look closer to see what they are. Then he looks closer. He wishes he hadn’t looked closer. The bus driver improvised the bus routes traveling down roads none of the regular passengers have seen before. He watches a written sizzle and shot on the sidewalk. It is very hot. He moves the worm to the grass in the shade with the edge of his foot but…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He sees stains on his chair. He does not look closer to see what they are. Then he looks closer. He wishes he hadn’t looked closer. The bus driver improvised the bus routes traveling down roads none of the regular passengers have seen before. He watches a written sizzle and shot on the sidewalk. It is very hot. He moves the worm to the grass in the shade with the edge of his foot but…
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day
He wakes up. He sees stains on his chair. He does not look closer to see what they are. Then he looks closer. He wishes he hadn’t looked closer. The bus driver improvised the bus routes traveling down roads none of the regular passengers have seen before. He watches a written sizzle and shot on the sidewalk. It is very hot. He moves the worm to the grass in the shade with the edge of his foot but the worm still bubbles and spits. It is to late for the worm. It is to late for every worm. Every one. Everyone. He buys some lentils. More of his villagers die. He only had the villagers left. He should never have begun construction on that mine. He feels totally responsible. He hopes the orchard will grow in time and offer sustenance along with the fishing and the hunting that keeps the remaining villagers clinging on to life. The well built houses are empty. The villagers must feel the loss every time they pass it to go into the forest to weep our whatever it is they do when they are hidden behind digital trees. He sees the renegade economist Simon Johnson on the train. He sees the gentleman from Subway who sometimes makes his sandwiches on the train. They are both wearing caps. Simon is wearing a white cap. He also has a red back pack. Subway is wearing a red hat. He will ask Subways name next time he purchases a sandwich or he will look at the name tag on his shirt and remember the name on it. He is beaten down by the heat when he leaves the train station. A violinist plays. He buys mixed nuts. He enjoys the air conditioning and engages in conversation with polite staff members who would rather not be there. He drinks lots of water. He talks. He quaffs. He considers. He thinks. He draws. He presses buttons. He talks intensely and without clarity. He is misunderstood. He is tired. He eats yoghurt. He writes and dreams and is overwhelmed. He goes to sleep.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.
He wakes up. He hugs. He showers. He kisses. He gets a taxi. He waits for the yellow bus for the last time. He is emotional. He gets on the train. A woman is wearing enormous shoes. Iraq is collapsing. The helicopters from Saigon moment is happening and nobody with power in America seems to know what to do other than ensure the world it is not Americas fault. ISIS are making their way down Iraq…
The SleepCoat League Presents: 