There is not one adult who looks at this thing and doesn’t wish there was an adult sized one so that adults could sit and shit and piss and swipe Angry Birds, check stock options and browse porn.
Or is that just me?
Of course not, I have no stock options to check.
In years to come I imagine an exchange between Mother and Son:
– Go out and play!
– No I am shitting, Mother! I am shitting on the commode and I am checking my stock options on my iPad.
– Can you at least not do it in front of guests in the living room on your 21st birthday?
– You did this to me, Mother! You made me this way!
And so yet another child will blame a parent for their own willful behaviour and the cycle will continue. Is it not possible for a child to have but a brief respite from technology? Must they be driven to have contact with the touchscreen even in that most private anal moment? Will these companies not leave us be? Can we not be anti-social? Why is social good all the time? Why do we need to connect all the time?
SOMETIMES IT’S OKAY TO HAVE A FUCKING BREAK.
But first, one more post…