This is something I’ve been working on. It’s got buttons to press and comic strips to read.
Dispatches from Nightmare Alley.
Category: Art
Some Flag Alternatives
Aardvark, Anteater, Armadillo: current affairs.
I Made a Book and Here it is.
It has photographs in it that I took. Seems like lots of fun to me. Doesn’t it seem like fun?
Why not buy it?
For yourself
Or a friend.
You should definitely buy it.
But if you cannot bear to part with money then please enjoy this freed pdf version.
CLICK ON THIS LINK TO GET IT: black/white
Sunbathing on a Giant Robot’s Foot.
Work in progress.
An Easter Story Part 2.
And behold, there was a great earthquake and the large egg did crack from the top and Jesus did burst forth with great you and said unto his disciples, ‘Be not afraid for even though the frame of this egg is a sturdy wire mesh yet the shell itself is a tasty sugar mixture. Go spread the good news!” But the Easter Chick remained unimpressed.
Matthew 28:1-10
An Easter Story Part 1.
Then sent Jesus two disciples, saying unto them, “Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an enormous bunny tied, and also a giant chick with her, but take the enormous bunny, and bring it unto me, but leave the giant chick where it is. And if anyone say ought unto you, ye shall say, the Lord hath need of a really enormous bunny; and straightway they shall send it.”
Matthew 21:1-3
Waiting.
Waiting
Alone on the platform
Heavy lidded
After a day of good work.
Soon she will be sitting
On the train,
And then at home
With Loved Ones.
The Unimpressed Easter Chick.
It’s early and this is a mini unfinished sketch but I thought I’d share anyway.
Please excuse my jeans.
Pi with a cherry on top.
Happy Pi Day
This is for tomorrow but it was so tasty looking that I just couldn’t resist posting it now.
I’ll post the other one I drew later.
Mourning Terry Pratchett.
Sir Terry Pratchett has died.
Saint Patrick’s Day Advice
It is Saint Patrick’s Day next week.
The Yearly Bacchanal is not a time for introspection but perhaps, this year, it’s time to slow down a little.
I am probably just getting old. Don’t mind me, I am just a decrepit man with not much time left.
Even so, here, below, are some ideas and some thoughts.
Cheers!
Freeway Walking.
Night moves
At its own speed
Drawing out the thread
Until morning.
Accordianist at Night.
End of the day
The music squeezes
Happiness out
Resonating beyond now.
Saint Patrick’s Day Approaches.
SAINT PATRICK IS COMFORTED BY A LEPRECHAUN ON LEARNING THE MANNER IN WHICH HIS DAY IS CELEBRATED.
Snow.
Making Jokes is Serious Business
Why can’t we just all get along?
Burn’s Supper in America.
Haggis – the food of poets.
DC with Pakistan.
Last night there was a well attended gathering at Du Pont Circle in Washington DC. Many faiths, ethnicities and ages all came together to remember those who had been massacred at their school desks in Peshawar the day before.
Candles were lit. Heads were bowed. Tears were shed.
The memory of those murdered at weddings and in their homes by drones and by death squads danced round the edge of the memorial.
All the innocents have value and all were joined in hoping for a better world for those innocents who remain.
Pentagon Memorial.
I went for a walk and I took these pictures on my walk.
Click the flag.
I went to the Pentagon last night and this is what I saw.
Man Draped in Stars and Stripes, USA, Colour (2014)
The Football is today.
Productivity Fail #402 – Blame the Coffee.
That wired moment at 2am when you think two keyboards and two monitors will make you twice as productive.
Oil Painting – Comedy/Tragedy
The finished piece.
Hibernation.
Birth, Death, Rebirth.
What better way to mourn the loss of a pet at the Animal Hospital than to buy a new pet at the pet store and stuff your old pet at the taxidermist?
I also commend whoever came up with the business strategy of having these three trades in such close proximity.
Reflections.
It’s my Content and I’ll Reblog if I want to.
Valentine’s Lesson #1: Objects = Love (As is Tradition.)
Nothing says I LOVE YOU like buying things from my store.
You will not regret your purchases.*
*you may regret your purchases.
Zebra and Cheetah, DC Zoo, 2013
Cheetahs at DC Zoo.
I know that lazy tilt shift is a mistake but I just can’t help myself.
Let’s just pretend it’s a visual trick to highlight how trapped these majestic creatures must feel.
Yes, let’s go with that reason.
My Rock Bottom
OK America, you have finally created a limited edition taste that I am not willing to experience.
You win.
For now.
The Saddest Christmas Sign in the World.
And I don’t even want to begin to imagine what that bear is doing.
I stared at the animated sign, hypnotised for several minutes, and was still none the wiser.
Snow Day.
It snowed a while ago.
Here are four photographs.
National Christmas Tree, Washington D.C (2013)
Nothing says Christmas is here more than cutting down a massive tree, transporting it across the country and then displaying it on the National Mall for all to see. It is far more romantic than that previous sentence would have you believe, in that it is incredibly romantic. Take your lover – I highly recommend it.
Every year a tree is taken
from one of the American states.
and surrounded with lights and tiny trains
This year the tree is
From Virginia.
It glows hauntingly
The lights.
The hypnotic lights.
And atop there sits
a glowing star
Little trees represent the states
And the unincorporated territories.
Strip Mall, Mist (2013)
Regal Cinema, Rockville (2013)
Tree, Night (2013)
Coffee House – Washington DC, Night (2013)
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 6th December.
Piano keys will not help you unlock this door.
They will, however, be really useful as projectile weapons to be thrown at the on-coming horde.
If only you can prise them out of their fittings – maybe then you will have a fighting chance.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 5th December.
Did you really think that you were going to get away with that?
Well you did, no consequences.
Congratulations.
No-one will suspect a thing and the organ chewing guilt will become manageable soon enough.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 4th December.
No, it’s not just you – those things in hats have been following you since your morning ablutions.
You should never have invited them into the shower.
There will be no escaping their relentless gaze now.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 3rd December.
Don’t worry too much that the words in your newspaper are dripping off the page.
Worry about the terrible price that will be exacted,
by the sentient being formed from the black ooze,
after your final wish.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 2nd December.
Today you will try to convince everyone that Jeff Bezos is trying to take over the world.
No one will believe you,
Until years later when the uniformed jack-booted foot soldiers of Bezos’ private child army
comes for them and their families in their Amazon life-cubicles.
Then they’ll believe you.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 1st December
Even as you feel the life drain from your body,
Be thankful that your corpse will be used as cross-training equipment for the Silicon Valley Power Elite.
Your brain soup will make them strong.
Your tears will fuel their start-ups.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 30th November
It will come to your attention as the day progresses that you are not getting the attention you deserve.
The flashy brooch you purchase and pin to your lapel will make little difference.
Yet still you persevere.
You optimistic fool.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 29th November
Today you will be the Thanksgiving leftovers for our Inter-dimensional Overlords.
Baste yourself.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 28th November
Thanksgiving.
Today you will be filled with helium and stretched tight your limbs attached to rope as you are dragged through the streets of New York.
As is traditional.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 27th November
Where does all this energy come from?
It comes from The Screaming Dead.
That will teach you to ask questions.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 26th November
You are a hybrid of human and horse.
News doesn’t get much better than this today.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 25th November
Good news – your hopes and dreams are going to come true.
Bad news – your hopes and dreams involve having your brain inserted into an indestructible killer robot with a unquenchable thirst for human destruction.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 24th November
It is best that you start learning archery.
You will learn for why soon enough.
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 23rd November
Remember that thing you did last summer?
Yes, I remember that too.
*stares*
Horror Scope – Sagittarius 22nd November
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
If you must make broth out of cooks only use one cook.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 21st November
Red sky at night sailors delight.
Red sky in the morning – it’s far too late; the sailors have already captured all the high ground and your defeat is assured.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 20th November
Red sky at night shepherds delight.
Red sky in the morning – stay in your homes the sheperds have no yet finished feasting on human flesh.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 19th November
Hell is not other people.
It is you.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 18th November
Hummus is not what you think it is.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 17th November
It’s all going to be okay.
Yes, don’t worry.
Just put this bag on your head
And sit down in that box.
Totally safe.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 16th November
You are a construct made in the Factory of your Ideology.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 15th November
Well-wishers will be knocking at your door.
Do not let them in.
They bring nothing but tragedy.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 14th November
Ignore the sirens.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 13th November
You had better unbury that “body” because the council are about to dig up the area in order to install an ice-rink.
This is definitely a metaphor.
Yes, don’t take it literally.
(Take it literally. Go now!)
Horror Scope – Scorpio 12th November
When life gives you lemons
You can makes all sorts of things with lemons.
Stop complaining.
Someone has just given you lemons, you ungrateful cur.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 11th November
Good things come to those who wait.
Unless all the good things are just go around the corner out of sight and hearing.
Why not go and check.
Don’t worry, it’s not a trap…
I said it’s NOT a trap.
That’s right, just down at the end of the alleyway – through the neon lit door.
All the Good Things are waiting for you.
Breathing heavily – licking their lips with anticipation.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 10th November
If you use the assembly instructions you received with your wardrobe to put together your table
You will discover that you have created a wooden portal to another dimension.
It is one way only so tread carefully.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 9th November
You should definitely press that button no matter how many times you are warned not to.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 8th November
You will forget how to words today.
Don’t worry no one will notice because no one ever notices anything you do.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 7th November
Don’t worry.
Worrying is futile
In the Face of Certain Doom.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 6th November
Make it a talking point with your colleagues by wearing snowshoes to work.
This will increase your chances of promotion and a raise.
This is an indisputable fact.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 5th November
You’re not being radical enough.
Time to get up on the barricade.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 4th November
Just because Monday rhymes with Funday
Does not mean that it is going to be a fun day today.
Stay positive, though, because you never know.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 3rd November
Yes, that is ectoplasm coming out of your mouth.
Don’t worry,
The fear will soon pass
To be replaced by a feeling of
Numb acceptance.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 1st November
All Your Base Are Belong to Me.
Hand them over, please.
The Watermeloning – Halloween Special Redux
I posted this before but it’s Halloween so I thought the world was ready to re-experience the horror….
Oh Dripping maw of meaty red
Do not look in that cave of dread
We Ope’d the Fruit
And so it bled.
Oh Dreaded Fruit of Rotten Red.
Sleep with the light on tonight…
Mwahahahahahahaha. etc.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 31st October
Everything will happen today.
EVERYTHING.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 30th October
When those around you start to spontaneously combust simply ignore them and continue on with your business.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 29th October
Truly you are your brother’s keeper.
Whatever you do, make sure you keep his cage locked.
If he gets out, the world is certainly doomed.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 28th October
How do you know what is going to happen to you today?
Because now you can see the future.
Enjoy the madness that approaches as you realise that you can change nothing that is about to happen.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 27th October
Today you will reflect on your childhood.
The mirror you hold up to the past will be dirty and hard to see into.
Whatever you do, don’t clean it.
Leave it alone and go and do something less meaningful.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 26th October
That pile of chocolate will not eat itself.
It will eat you.
RUN!
Horror Scope – Scorpio 25th October
It is only my birthday today.
There will be no birthday celebrations for anyone else.
I am sorry if you were misinformed.
Horror Scope – Scorpio 24th October
Stay away from poison.
It is poisonous.
Horror Scope – Libra 23rd October
Today you will feel like a trending hashtag.
#confused
Horror Scope – Libra 22nd October
Howling. Scowling. Fouling.
These lessons from school days will serve you well.
Horror Scope – Libra 21st October
You are Big Brother.
Horror Scope – Libra 20th October
All of this was a dream.
Except for that bit.
That bit was all too real.
Don’t worry, the shuddering will cease, eventually.
Horror Scope – October 19th Libra
You are mistaken.
There is definitely a drawing here.
Horror Scope – Libra 18th October
Today beware of bewaring.
Horror Scope – Libra 17th October
Today –
Walking for thinking,
Running to clear your head
And flying because of the giant cybernetic wings that have been grafted to your back, complex wiring interlaced with your nueral system.
Fly, my pretty, fly.
Horror Scope – Libra 16th October
You forgot to read your horoscope today. That is why today has been such a disaster.
You do not know this is the reason for your failure because you have not read your horoscope.
Etc.
Horror Scope – Libra 15th October
All of your recent thoughts are mis-remembered celebrity tweets that you read last year.
Horror Scope – Libra 14th October
Everything in moderation – except for moderation.
Horror Scope – Libra 13th October
Your application to become the newest member of the US Supreme Court was successful. Congratulations!
Horror Scope – Libra 12th October
It is recommended that you get your affairs in order and purchase a gravestone.
All other matters remain unclear.
Good luck!