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Your face looks like a plate of breakfast food.

Your hands are invisible.

When everyone starts speaking to you in binary numbers, whatever you do, don’t reveal your ignorance. They will destroy you. Gather your things and make your way to the safe house.

Exit through the window.

You are the main course at this Demonic barbecue.

Loki is coming.

When you scream in existential agony people think you are laughing.

The Moon isn’t real. It’s a circle painted on a glass wall just past the horizon.

Capitalism is going to eat you. Chewing your bones and sucking out the tasty marrow. Could be worse, though.

Memories of growing up in a battery farm have been disturbing you lately. This is because you have been given the wrong medication. Best go see the doctor if you don’t want to be overwhelmed with the horrific truth.

There are no gods. Dogs rules this secret universe. Not the cats. It was never the cats.

Just because that doorframe is made of teeth doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t walk through it.

Horrorscope – Monday 28th April 2014