Carl Sagan is disappointed with your progress but still thinks that you have potential.
Whenever you start to say “Some of my best friends are…”, you should realize that you actually don’t have any friends of any kind.
Soylent Growbags – don’t look at the ingredients, just enjoy the resulting glorious flowers.
You will be the first human to live on the Moon. Not for very long because you will die of some unknown disease after about a month, but they will make a plaque for you. So that’s nice.
No one knows where you are. You went missing after breakfast.
You are the 27th letter of the Roman Alphabet.
Every day when you leave the house tiny creatures enter through the air ducts and do their bathroom in all of your crockery.
In the future the most auspicious job will be Presidential Scrotum cleaner.
You have been finding it difficult to achieve your goals recently. That is because all of your goals are written in a language you cannot understand on a piece of paper that is hidden in a safety deposit box that has no door.
Why are you teetering on the edge? Come back inside and enjoy a nice cup of tea. We can talk about all of your problems here.
You are running out of steam. Go and buy more steam at the steam store. Get a family pack.
This week every day will feel like Monday. This is because you are stuck in a time loop. This week every day will feel like Monday. This is because you are stuck in a time loop.This week every day will feel like Monday. This is because you are stuck in a time loop. etc