Horrorscope – Friday 18th April 2014

 

Replacing all the water with blood at the aquarium was not a good idea.

At about 3pm you will discover the meaning of life. Then you will forget it.

A wizard can never go home. YOU ARE THAT WIZARD.

If you wish to succeed then you are going to have to create more imaginative fantasies

You are what happened before The Big Bang.

Sir Sean Connery doesn’t like what you have been saying about him.

Learn to relax. It will improve your chances of calming The Kraken that will have you in it’s clutches later today.

You are allergic to nuts.

Your poems are amazing. Read them aloud at the first street corner you come to. Public laughter denotes praise not mockery.

Important things happen but only when you sleep.

The only cure for your current ailment is time travel.

In the near future you will become a noble gas. Which one isn’t clear but you will surely be invited to more parties and gallery openings.