Horrorscope – Wednesday 16th April 2014

 

Zombie George Washington won’t stay in the basement forever.

It is always going to be one minute before the end of your shift. Get used to it. Forever.

That ghost costume you just bought at that clam rally is not a ghost costume. That was not a clam rally. There is no such thing as a clam rally.

You are Lord of the Dance.

Stop secretly adding an additional star to every old glory you come across. Stop doing that as well.

Your office smells like raw sewage. There are reasons for this but you will never be told what they are.

Poop. Everywhere. A description not a suggestion.

Today tarot rhymes with carrot and silent g is pronounced in all English words.

Next time you order pizza don’t accidentally call a bomb threat into the FBI.

Living in a block of concrete isn’t so bad now that you don’t have a choice.

You will be immune to the mighty power of lightning.

Stop being so passive-aggressive. Oh, never mind. Do what you like. See if I care.