Everyone one can see what you are doing on webcam. EVERYONE. Either put some tape over it or start charging money.
Your personal financial advisor uses cards on a wall and a dart to choose how they invest your money.
Congratulations, you are about to be elected President of Afghanistan.
Someone has been mixing dolphin meat into your food.
A rolling stone gathers no moss. Moss gatherers gather moss. It is a proud and dying profession. You will be sorry when there are no more moss gatherers in the world.
If you had only reached a little further and jumped a little higher you would not be impaled on these dirty wooden spikes.
For the rest of the month you will be mistaken for a Super Villain.
You have just been copyrighted by Google. Now you have to email them everytime you want to do anything.
Get as many axes as you can. Get them now!
Never answer a telephone again. It is not in your interests to do so.
You have gone temporarily blind.
You are about to be sucked into a video game. It happened while you were reading this.