When Tonya Harding comes knocking at your door for the love of God do what she says.
Your house becomes sentient when you are at work today. If you value your life do not return to it.
That third arm you grew at the weekend has not been useful so far. So far.
There is Death in your future. Your death.
Yes, when your new boss said he would be taking a bare bones approach to your job he did mean that he was going to peel your flesh from your bones.
Now is not a good day to experiment sexually – unless you are ready for exile.
On the one hand it’s a good idea. On the other hand you’ve just lost both your hands.
Take up a hobby – balloon animals. Or animal balloons. It doesn’t really matter because you’re never leaving the circus alive.
The word of the day is mellifluous. The soup of the day is you.
The rickety bridge you are on is not a metaphor. The gentlemen cutting the ropes at either end of the bridge are awful people. Either way you really should have taken that parachute when I offered it to you.
Robot Overlords will show you no mercy. They will, however, show you how to make a crane out of paper. So there’s that, at least.