Today your hugs will cure everything – AIDS, Cancer, Gout. But not loneliness. There is no cure for loneliness. Advertisements
You are the kind of person who wears your heart on your sleeve. Your sleeve is soaked with blood and … More
Someone will give you a million dollars today. You just need to find which continent they are on. Good luck!
Today the weather will be happening everywhere. Look, it’s happening now, seeping under the door and through the windows. There … More
He wakes up. It is very early. He makes his way to the mva again with all of his documents … More
Today is going to be so awful I just can’t give you any details. Even thinking about what’s going to … More
He wakes up. He is energized. He reads about the relationship between India and China. He missed his window for … More
You’re going to get fired today. Don’t worry, though, because after lunch you will be hired as a taxidermist. You … More
He wakes up. He is nervous about drones. He is nervous about drinking too much coffee. He is nervous about … More
Today every question you ask will be answered with a question. This will frustrate you and make you wish you … More
Balance? Fuck balance.
He wakes up. All is well with the world. He spent a weekend disconnected from social media and from the … More
He wakes up. He eats some cookies. He has some coffee. He watches a documentary about Jung. He does his … More
Your missing keys are exactly where you last left them. No, I’m not telling you where that is.
Our suspicions are first aroused when we see that the self-declared apostles of ethics and of the ‘right to difference’ … More
He wakes up. [INSERT LIFE HERE] He goes to sleep.
Half way through the day all the bananas will disappear. Be on the look out until sunset. We do not … More
At around lunch time all your fingers will become teeth and all your teeth will become fingers. This is easily … More
Philisophy does not begin in an experience of wonder, as ancient tradition contends, but rather, I think, with the indeterminate … More
Remember the last time you had sex? That’s the last time you are ever going to have sex.
He wakes up. Did the night happen he wonders. He thinks it probably did but he was asleep when it … More
Today you will meet a tall and handsome stranger. It is the last thing you will ever do.
Every time a bell rings sound waves emanate from the bell and if they bounce off the workings of the … More
I never like to explain poems but here I am explaining a poem. I was irritated, this morning, as with … More
He wakes up. It is early. Chatter on the radio. Before sunrise it is cool. Then it rains. He showers. … More
Today will be a day for animalistic sexual congress and meaningless libertine rhetoric.
He wakes up. He drinks coffee with peppermint creamer. He eats a bagel with an egg and some turkey bacon. … More
War makes monsters of us all and there were, no doubt, many instances where the Allies committed what would today … More
Don’t give up no matter how hard it gets because if you do that explosive collar around your neck will … More
The happiest moment you will ever experience happened yesterday while you were busy doing something else. Sorry, but it’s not … More
The automated voice on the bus is a trapped spirit caught for all eternity in it’s mobile metal prison.
He wakes up. He cannot remember how long he slept because he was asleep but it seemed like a long … More
Public transport is not your friend today. Steal a car. Don’t worry, though, you won’t get caught.
Don’t go to the bathroom today. SERIOUSLY. DON’T GO!
Do not be afraid of making a big mistake today. By the time you make that big mistake you will … More
Every time a bell rings an angel has a tummy orgasm.
What year is this? WHAT YEAR IS THIS?!
DO YOU SENSE HOW ALL THE PARTS OF A GOOD PICTURE ARE INVOLVED WITH EACH OTHER, NOT JUST PLACED SIDE … More
Werewolves: they were wolves. What they are now who can say but you can be sure of this… they have … More
An unusual job offer sees you traveling through time to the land of the dinosaurs, accidentally killing a butterfly and … More
Don’t mention to anyone that you see the sky bleeding.
He wakes up. It is early. He has a driving test. He is ready for his driving test. He gets … More
“Remember me to all my friends and relations – I wish you and others of the family as many as … More
Tomorrow everything is going to go really well. Today, however, is going to be a total horrorshow.
A Warning from History to John Kerry from Colin Powell Through the Medium of Sculpture.
Plane’s due to take off in a few minutes. Brother West – Living and Loving Out Loud – A Memoir, … More
That’s right, everyone is staring at you today, everyone.
Do not worry about not being the coolest person in the room today. You have never been cool so there … More
Ignore the figure standing in the shadows. Ignore it!