Everyone wearing sunglasses today has teeth in their eye sockets.
We are a nation living with two sets of laws, one public law as guided by the Constitution and a … More
Only take right turns today.
In his magisterial work A Study of History, British historian Arnold J. Toynbee tells the story of how civilizations rise and fall … More
Deer in garden, day (2013)
He wakes up. Miley Cyrus and her parlous attempt at twerking is still major news but for all the wrong … More
Don’t worry if people seem to be ignoring you today. You are a ghost and this is a totally normal … More
Yesterday morning as I was about to enter the lecture hall, I was stopped by a Christian student who asked … More
Your new fridge is a gateway to The Stygian Abyss. Under no circumstances are you to open it unless you … More
Never in the Americas has an event of such extraordinary character, with such deep roots and such far-reaching consequences for … More
If you play your cards right you could be lucky enough to leave that cellar with all your own teeth. … More
You are correct – all the trees are plotting your downfall.
On January 30, 1835, as Andrew Jackson exited a congressman’s funeral, an assassin drew a weapon and pointed it at … More
He wakes up. He is not hungover. It feels like something is missing. He listens to Car Talk. He buys … More
It is the beginning of the year of our Lord 1963. Why We Can’t Wait, Martin Luther King Jr. (1964)
Everyone you meet today was watching you sleep on a hidden webcam last night.
He wakes up. He watches the anniversary of the March on Washington on MSNBC which he wants to be at … More
That’s right. They’ve both appeared in Bollywood movies. Go Bollywood. Alas not the same movie but as cultural connections go … More
Don’t focus on the little things. Take care of the invading Alien Horde and the little things will take care … More
When my mother was pregnant with me, she told me later, a party of hooded Ku Klux Klan riders galloped … More
He wakes up. He is still drunk the third day in a row he is drunk from the night before, … More
You are definitely a racist. The more you deny it the more of a racist you are. Those are the … More
Don’t worry about your genitals. No one has any use for them.
He wakes up. He reads The Statement of Bradley Manning which looks like this: The decisions that I made in … More
These are some pictures I have been working on:
All hail The Algorithm!
He wakes up. He is glad that he drank alcohol last night because it calmed him and took away his … More
Today is a day for making sacrifices: you, to be more specific, in a hastily erected Wicker Man.
He wakes up . He watches hours and hours of commercials hawking legal narcotics of alcohol and pain killers and … More
Half way through the day a work colleague, who you do not know very well, will point out that you … More
Today you will be brought up by a pack of wolves.
He wakes up. He goes to buy lemons and sugar and cups and then makes lemonade and then helps with … More
Nothing will go right for you today so just stay in bad, failing quietly, until sunset.
Look out behind you! In front of you! Beside you! Above you! Below you! Too late.
He wakes up. He watches as Fox News crushes poor people and facts into a glorious paste of lies. Then … More
As the saying goes: fool me once and my pet bears will eat you.
He wakes up. Love is complicated and painful and full of apologies and distrust and like a recovering addict he … More
As the day progresses you realize that all of your friends and all of your colleagues, those who you love … More
He wakes up. He is drunk. He doesn’t care. He wears underwear that he should have thrown away years ago … More
Remember that murder you committed, many years ago, that you thought you got away with? Your victim has re-animated and … More
He wakes up. He cannot decide whether he should go to work or not but then he realises that there … More
He wakes up. The sky is grey and his brain is gray. He learns about a school in Florida where … More
He wakes up. He feels happy. Then things go awry very quickly. Something is concerning his lover. Then he learns … More
You will thank me, I guarantee it: Goodbye problems and cobwebs!
He wakes up. He is refreshed. He does not know why. He talks to his lover and then goes to … More
Because, for a short window in time, beards are cool.
He wakes up. He does not remember how he got to work but there he is, sitting at his desk, … More
He wakes up. He has a coffee. He has a bagel. He reads about the overuse of oil and how … More
He wakes up. How many things will go wrong today, he wonders. He finds out during the day. It is … More
He wakes up. He feels guilty because last night he ate between 12 and 14 battered cheese fingers that he … More
He wakes up after significant terrible dreams that involved terrible unnameable acts. Then he goes downstairs to get some breakfast … More