Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.

He wakes up. He managed to sleep last night. There was no storm that he can remember no derecho screaming the house apart with it lunatic power. He makes a coffee and his landlord arrives in the kitchen and he gives the remainder to his landlord and then he makes a bagel with jam and he returns to his room and listens to NPR and reads about Steve Pinker Jared Diamond and their right wing neo-conservative State friendly tribe-ophobic view of the violence of Primitive socities and how their arguments are based on bad science are are nonsense and he is not sure that this is true but he enjoys the refreshing perspective on two writers who appear to suffer little criticisim in the main river of opinion here in the tributaries they are more suspect and the fact that Pinker misrepresents reams of information in regard to Otzi the iceman leave him wondering whether all of Pinker’s other work is suspect. Yesterday a report came out that children being used as slaves and there more girls than boys being used and he wonders if a person of freemarket neo-conservative persuasion would use this a proof of the wonders of gender equality in the shadow economy and how this should be adopted by all people in all places. He mulls over the dream that he was toddler and his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend come into the room and they were friends and had big heads and large hands and they didn’t call each other cunt which was progress from real life even though they didn’t meet in real life and they were smiling and talking but he doesn’t understand the words that they are using. Then it rains but there is still no derecho but there is lightning. Then the bus arrives and he gets on the bus and he uses his pass but it does not work but luckily he has another pass which does work so he uses that then a beautiful woman sits next to him and she smells of perfume and old cigarettes. Then a man sits next to him and he smells of aftershave and stale cigarettes and he wonders if they are both smokers or if there is a new celebrity cologne for him and for her that has a base odour of stale cigarettes. He will search the internet later to see if there is such a thing.Then his Aunt calls and it is good to hear his aunt and she is sad and lonely just as he is sad and lonely and they talk for a while and then he gets on the train and then he gets to work and there has been no real storm to speak of and then he learns that an audience member has been hearing the director audio on his show for the last two weeks which could have been very embarassing given what directors tend to say in the seclusion of a live television control room. He watches George Carlin and wonders at how he could have thought that George Carlin was nothing more than Rufus in the Bill and Ted movies for most of his life and he is glad that he knows the full breadth of George Carlin now but wished he had known it for longer but then one cannot have everything or rewind time like in the video game Braid which also shows us that there is a cost to the rewinding so the illusion of linear time is probably a good thing even if all events are occuring simultaneously and multitudinously in this infinitely dimensioned planck thin geometry that is called life. He wants to rewind life many times in a day but he would probably get even less done than now if he had that power. Then there is a new security system because a crazy man entered the office today and he wanted to get on air because Obama was going to kill him and he wanted to tell the world that Obama was going to kill him because he knew the truth about everything and there was no hiding this truth any more so he needed to get on air so the security system is going to be changed to a security system that works from the current security system that doesn’t work. Then he listens to Lebron James and he sees like a calm and reasonable man. Then he reads some more of a wonderful web comic called Pregnant Butch which is riven with humour and honesty and pathos. He does a shit in which there is no blood so he counts this as a triumph and if nothing else happens today then it will be one of the better days. Then there is breaking news and there is breathlessness as The White House admits that there is proof that the Syrian Government is using chemical weapons and there is excitement and stress and what should Obama do because he put a red line down made of chemical weapons and it has been crossed and now should there be war? There must be war! That is the only answer! Where is Superman? Bring in Batman! Or Supergran. Then he is on the platform and he does a massive and loud fart before entering the train that approaches and he hopes that a commuter doesn’t step into the mysterious cloud he has left on the platform and on the way home there is no rain and no derecho although there was one nearby and he listens to Shane McGowan and it does not sound good because he is slurring and dying and there is a wink of passion remaining but that might not be enough and then he eats yoghurt and granola and blueberries and drinks coffee and draws a picture of the solar system and then goes to sleep.


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