Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up. He is hungover so terribly hung over from a bottle of lonely red wine that he drank last night whislt eating a bag of cookies and a small greek yogurt. He drives through the rain and gets some groceries. Then he goes back to bed and he snores and his hair grows ever so slowly as he ages imperceptibly. He watches more of the Justice League and marvels at the violence and the unashamed fascism of it and he wonders why there is so much violence and why there is always an enemy to defeat and how the enemy will never be defeated and it ties in well with the final episodes of The Untold History of The United States in which he learns nothing new but he is disappointed with the final thought of Oliver Stone which seems too pat and hopelessly optimistic given the thesis of the series and it reminds him of the end of the movie Gilda which is a great movie but a movie that is ruined by a happy ending because it is a greek tragedy and the story arc is not one that ends happily and the happy ending is so ridiculous and plucked out of such a ludicrous magicians hat as to be laughable and this is how he feels about Oliver Stone’s conclusion. It is a conclusion that ruins an otherwise interesting history series. Then he drinks some chocolate coffee with almond vanilla milk and it pleases him then he eats some rice and vegetables then he watches it rain through the window then he goes to Busboys and Poets to meet a friend to see Jeremy Scahill talk about Dirty Wars but he is mistaken he was never going to meet the friend the friend merely suggested the talk to him so he goes anyway but when he gets there it is already full and his only option is to sit alone at the bar watching the talk on a television that isn’t working properly and listen in scratch audio to a man read from a book. He had joked that Jeremy Scahill was the Justin Bieber of the left-leaning politically aware community but now he sees that this wasn’t such a joke after all and that there is probably some truth in it. So he browses around the bookstore and feels sad that he cannot spend $40 on a book about dirty wars but instead he walks home but first he gets lost and then he sees Ben’s Chili Bowl and he thinks about going again but instead he follows a couple he doesn’t know for a while pretending to be a spy until they peel off and go into a bar never to be seen by him again and then he gets back on the metro and he looks at the faces of strangers desperate to make a connection but not knowing what he would do if he did make a connection. He goes home but first he stops at a barbecue van that he often drives past and he gets some barbecued chicken and some mac and cheese and it costs $9 and this is too much but it tastes okay when he eats it when he gets home. Then he goes out again and buys a klondike bar and some candy and a diet dr. pepper and he eats and drinks them and he watches a coursera course on gamification and he watches a coursera course on neuroscience and he is out of his depth but he enjoys them and he thinks about drones and he thinks about dirty wars and he thinks about the joyless theatre of politics and he reads more about the panopticon and he has not seen any news for three days now and he feels disconnected and hopeless but also free and empowered and he does not know how he can feel all of these things at once but he does. On the train home he remembers how he almost started reading a newspaper that he picked up automatically beside him and he saw a picture of Brad Pitt and he read the word Suburb and he does not think that the two stories were connected but he knows that Brad Pitt has done something and that something has happened in a suburb somewhere. He feels that he can live with that generalized knowledge about the world and feels that he has still managed, because that is not specific enough news, to have avoided the news for a third straight day. He reads more about World War II and then he tries to sleep. He tries to sleep a sweet and dreamless sleep.

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