He wakes up. He doesn’t want to get out of his bed. He is covered in his own clean laundry and dried semen scabs his disgusting hairy belly. He doesn’t want to get up and shower but somehow he manages to get up and showers. He eats a bagel with tofu turkey and avocado and fake vegan mayonnaise. It does not fill him. The black coffee fills him more than the bagel. He forgets his kindle. He has filled it with Ouspensky and Gurdjieff. He really can’t be bothered with 20th century mysticism but he always ends going back to the occult for reasons he can’t explain. He gets to work and sits in his room making graphics and drawing pictures of The Justice League. He eats some chili for lunch and then he does his work as best as he can. He hears about a journalists ethical dilemma and then he goes home. He buys a duvet for his kid and then he eats some chicken which is tasty it is honey and mustard. Then he goes home and on the way goes to CVS and buys some Arizona sweet tea and then when he is home he pours it into a glass and even though he enjoys the taste he can’t but help think that it looks like foamed urine being poured into the glass. He then thinks about a shit he took earlier in the day and wonders if he is obsessed with fecal matters and then listens to the radio so he forgets about that line of thought and then he realises that he is exhausted and lonely and his friend tells him that he needs to have more fun and he knows that she is right but he has forgotten how to have fun and he suspects that he doesn’t have the time any more. He had the chance to do that in his twenties and he squandered that opportunity and now here is he confused and he keeps feeling he is getting closer to understanding the world every day but he is not enjoying the stench that is coming from the core that he feels sure that he is approaching. He had a dream last night that he was driving a car down a dark road and the headlights went out and there were no street lights but the other cars on the road were getting along fine but he was not getting along fine. He thinks that this dream means something and it does not bode well for his nervous state of mind. He goes to sleep hoping that he will not have a dream like that again but he suspects he probably will.