Appetite for Distraction – Another Day.


He wakes up to Stackolee the same song he wakes up to every morning. He turns on Way to early as he always does changing the channel from the Comedy Channel from where he finished watching The Colbert Report last night with the memories of an awkward interview with William Shatner, as he always does. Then he showers. Then he collects his writings and drawings together so he can have something to do at work during the day. He is enjoying the fact that he now seems to have most of the day to pursue his own projects. Projects that now, given that he now has little else to live for, will actually be completed, and loved, and respected, and be feted by critics and public alike. Then he leaves the house into the cold wet still black dawn. He keeps checking his text messages and his emails but there are no messages from the woman he lost. He draws pictures all day and colours them in like a feverish child in an art class who doesn’t want to go out to play. Later he watches porn and thinks that he has headphones on but when he finishes he realises that the headphones haven’t worked and the echoing moaning of the participants has been bouncing round the house the entire time for his landlord and housemates to hear whilst he has been wrapped in his own filthy guilt. He cringes and then reads some Proust. It is another day when he steps one life further away from the one he wants to have.

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10 Comments

    1. I think it is certainly a possibility. It can often be a furrow walks along accidentally at first, a shallow grove in the earth. Soon, though, it deepens until the walls are too high to climb and the only way seems to keep on going forward, ever deeper, reassured only by the familiarity of the highs walls that gird either side of the route. Not that I want to be a downer on a Sunday morning or anything. 🙂

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      1. “Not that I want to be a downer on a Sunday morning or anything.”

        Of course not. Empathy demands complete understanding and paths are prone to meetings.

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      2. To understand what it is that drives the moods and actions of others, whether negative or positive, is akin to diving into deep dark waters. One can only hope there is a willingness of the ‘other’ to come closer.

        Experience has taught me the sad realization that, even with what could be seen as ‘connection’, the wide gulf between one and another remains distant even when the far shore is in sight. The only way to completion is the ferry known as unrequited love and the ferryman asks for much more than a gold coin.

        Sad, but true.

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      3. And yet, as an artist and human being, the compulsion to continue diving is what gives meaning to a life which, increasingly, can seem meaningless. We don’t all have to be divers but as long as enough of us are we can bring back gifts from the depths.

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      4. I very much like the way you see this as a balance. It’s true as I understand it.

        One of my favourite observations is that we all stumble backwards into the stream of time, seeing only the slippery rocks upon which we may, or may not, have lost our footing.

        To understand that some may recover easily while others do not is to wish an easier passage for those who fall. But it is impossible to change the unknown and all we can do is to steady the hands that reach out, hoping silently that we are stable enough to provide it ourselves.

        With careful steps, we may suss out the hidden hazards behind and beneath the surface, ever aware of our own inadequacies.

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