Culture of Illusion – The Most Boring Man in the World


The most boring man in the world is validated by a confused looking Alica Keyes.
The most boring man in the world has his existence validated by a confused looking Alica Keyes.

The Commercial begins. A man is being dumped by his girlfriend. He is told that he is boring. I watch this commercial and think that she looks boring too and think that they are probably great for each other but I put this thought to one side and continue watching. The commercial is for a credit card. The voice over is the man who has been jilted by the bland woman who he probably loved. He can’t get over the fact that he has been called boring. It seems that he has gone through his entire life thinking that he is not boring. This revelation is a shock to him so he does the only thing he can think to do when accused of being boring. He goes to his citibank online account and looks to see what kind of free offers are available through his credit card. He then goes to an art gallery. After that he goes to a cookery class. Then finally he gets special back stage tickets to see Alicia Keys in concert. He even gets an awkward picture with the star. These are all the actions of a boring man being boring doing boring things. He has learnt nothing he has moved forward not one jot. He is stuck in a boring spiral from which he will never escape yet entirely ignorant of the fact that he is boring. Perhaps this is zen. Perhaps this is the pinnacle of what it is to be a human being in the Western World. The aspiration is to be a sandwich board for a corporation; a person who collects objects like experiences or experiences like objects. The man thinks he can’t be boring because he has gone to an art gallery. He thinks he is interesting because he has taken a cooking class. He thinks he is interesting because he has gone to a music concert and paid extra money with his credit card to have an awkward picture taken with Alicia Keyes. What does it all mean? It means nothing. it means that having a credit card will help you get over your boring ex who called you boring because it can allow you to collect experiences without delving into the depths of those experiences. Does the bland man enjoy the art he has experienced at the art gallery? Is he enriched by the picture of Marilyn Monroe? Does he actually learn to cook at the cooking class? Has he heightened his appreciation of the culinary arts? Does he even like the music of Alicia Keys or was a ticket to her concert just a free offer that was available with the card? I don’t know the answer to any of these questions but the aching tragedy is that none of this seems to matter. For this man to have a life all he needs to do is purchase, use the credit card, and then die lonely and unaware. What happens later. Does he become a stalker? Is there a restraining order put out against him by the cooking teacher or Alicia Keys? Does it all end with him living in a bedsit in the squalid back alleys of a nameless city shooting smack into his thin broken veins? Maybe. What I do know is that this commercial irks me and it’s very existence diminishes every single one of us.

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The Sleepcoat League

Armchair anthropologist, sometime scribe, freelance philosopher, amateur artist, part-time poet, musical maven, alliteration aficionado.

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