The Inspiration for Happy Birthday.
It is not Christmas in Hawaii but sometimes to imagine experiencing both Christmas and Hawaii is the only way to make it through they long dark days. As the last of The Andrews Sisters dies listen to this song and capture, for a moment, some of their magic.
He eats some yoghurt mixed with granola drizzled with honey and mixed nuts. He feels sick and buckles over in the mens’ cubicle for fifteen minutes. He doesn’t know if it is because of the yoghurt or the granola or the honey or some other cause. Yoghurt – Yog. Hurt.
We are all insane:
– The Psychological Architecture of Leni Reifensthal.
– Everyone is a star in the motion picture of their lie.
– A public holiday is a celebration of shopping and commercialism first, a celebration of the person or event in question third.
– All Weathers. All Climates. All Landscapes.
– Freedom is a shibboleth.
– Bigotry and Enlightenment walk hand in manacled hand.
– Laziness is at once embraced, venerated, criticised, aspired to.
– Purposelessness is derided and underrated.
– Drive thru banks, drive thru restaurants, drive thru drive thrus, drive thru funeral parlours, drive thru shooting galleries
– The American Dream is a mist that covers everything in a patina of greasy possibility.
– Utility is an ugly obsession.
– Teetering at the edge of an abyss.
I know it’s your birthday today
But I know you don’t want me to call
So I took the last text message you sent me
And changed the meaning so all
The lines are opposite:
Thank you for your gift
It was very thoughtful.
It all turned out just as you hoped
I want us to be together forever
It was the perfect gift at the perfect time
I’m so alone without you
Please keep sending me love letters.
I didn’t mean to turn love into
He wakes up. It is early. The sun is not up yet. He stumbles in his monkey pyjamas that he got for Christmas to the bathroom to have a shower. It takes a long time to get the temperature right because neither tap works properly. He dresses. He makes himself his lunch. He is still proud that he managed to finish War and Peace at the weekend and has a real desire now to achieve to read the book again to write his own book to succeed and grow and learn and improve himself. Then he goes to the bathroom. The walk in the dark is a long and cold walk. No one is up when he reaches the house but he wakes up those who need to be woken, makes breakfast for them and makes himself a cup of coffee with coffee that he didn’t buy but feels he deserves. He reads some Nietzsche. He realizes that Nietzsche is a complicated man. It is cold outside when he walks outside. He walks to the bus stop and gets into the bus. The bus driver is pretty. She doesn’t smile because his beard scares her, he can tell. He continues to read on the bus. Nietzsche is a complicated man. He manages to make it through his day of work doing very little work. He then feels incredible pain in his eyes. It feels like they are bleeding but they are not bleeding. His eyes then feel better. He reads some more Nietzsche on the bus and the train. He is squeezed into a corner by a man who ignores him. He eats some macaroni cheese. Then he drives. He drives in the snow and the dark of the night in his car. He watches The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975. He enjoys it. It is sad. The Revolution has been televised. He thinks it was lost. The Revolutionaries lost. He hopes that they have not lost.